My Friend Is On A Powertrip... Treating Me Like I'm Beneath Her

[Moon13]

So I met this girl last year during an aerial class, and ever since we became good friends and started our performing adventure together. Literally spent most of our time together. We both sent photos to this entertainment company for nightclubs and our performance gigs took off. At first she got in and I didn't get a response. I took it personally when I shouldn't have.. but honestly it hurt my self esteem as it seemed like they didn't care about the talent, but more about what you looked like. It made me super upset because I've danced my whole life and I am good at what I do and I think I'm attractive enough for the gigs. My friend had no dance experience, and literally has been dancing for a year... I soon realized her look fit the club vibe more and came to terms with that. Anyways, when she got the chance, she mentioned me to the company and got me in. And now I work with the company too, but I don't get booked as often, and I'm used more as a back up so it seems. Anyways I appreciated the gesture from my friend getting me in, and I also appreciate getting book, even if it's not as much as I'd like to.

 

So my friend is a powerhouse, no doubt. And I love that about her, as it makes me work harder. But not only is she a powerhouse.. she also brags about things to the point where it becomes annoying and rude. This past entire summer that went by, here I was struggling to fit in with these girls because I wasn't getting booked enough, and they are quite clicky (and I would express all of this to my friend), and she would start bragging about how she's bonding with that person, or about how the manager said something good about her, or about which girls she doesn't like... then finds out they are a person she should value because she can get something from them... then the next day she is best friends with them... and then brags about their friendship and how they are basically going to take over the world together -- (making a truthful joke). I started to get quite annoyed and eventually started distancing myself for some personal space to clear my head. I'm not typically a jealous person, but I felt like jealousy was starting to take over my brain because she would brag about all these things to me, very well knowing I wanted so bad to fit in. I tried to ignore my jealousy feelings because I would be a bad friend if I were jealous, right? But honestly it started to almost feel like she was doing it on purpose or something... as if she enjoyed me being beneath her, which would make sense since she is manipulative and controlling (she even says this about herself). Other dance/aerial gigs came up, connections came up.. and it felt like she enjoyed snatching up all these gigs and then excluding me from some and then dragging me along with some, and take over opportunities that I found for us. Always making sure I'm beneath her. Flat out... I'm a quieter person and my challenge in life is to be more bold and outspoken. She fully takes advantage of this.

 

Eventually I had enough, and just stopped talking to her for some time and did my own thing. Later down the road, I thought maybe I was being a bad friend for distancing myself from her. I started reaching out to her again and apologized and explained that I just needed my own space (I was also going through other personal issues too with my job and then transitioning to a new job, and being around her wasn't helping me cope with anything). Then she says to me "yeah I think we just needed space from each other, we were getting too competitive, it's not a race you know." I was kind of shocked.. and just said "I was never being competitive or racing you". Yes I was a bit jealous because she was rubbing everything into my face every single time I saw her which was a lot, but I never felt like I was competing against her... and why on earth would she be competing against me? She's the one getting booked for all these gigs. She's the one with the loud mouth and knows how to use it to get what she wants. She's physically stronger than me and while I'm better at dancing, she's better at aerial tricks. Like what do I have that she could possibly feel threatened by? My dance moves? lol... the entertainment company doesn't even care about that as much as looks.

 

We are still talking.. but things don't feel the same. She ignores me when certain people are around. It's always people who she believes to advance her aerial career. When it's just us two, things are normal. So none of this makes sense to me. I'm not really a threat.

 

So my question is... why would someone who is getting everything that I want feel like they need to rub it in my face and feel competitive towards me? Someone please help me figure out this psychology. I feel like I don't even want to be friends with her anymore... but I have to because the community is small and we both need to carry a good etiquette, plus I'm getting closer with the other girls from the entertainment company. Like at a normal pace, not a instant charm pace. She is still bringing me onto things and helping me get gigs and vice versa.. but treating me like I'm beneath her and always trying to show me she's better. Always gives me a judging stare when I talk to someone who she wants to be tight with. It's really infuriating and I feel belittled. I don't understand it...

[pippy longstocking]

Just be the best version of yourself at all times while in the working environment , have fun with the other dancers , be kind , be friendly ( you sound like a very nice person ) and just let her get on with it ...I understand you need to stay in the same circuit because it is the only circuit ..you have acknowledged she has got you work and you her , so it is both working for you in that way ...so just carry on being a wonderful you and let her actions go over your head . Don't worry , others will have noticed what she is like , but you just have to make the best of it and enjoy your dancing .

[ThatwasThen]

Just be the best version of yourself at all times while in the working environment , have fun with the other dancers , be kind , be friendly ( you sound like a very nice person ) and just let her get on with it ...I understand you need to stay in the same circuit because it is the only circuit ..you have acknowledged she has got you work and you her , so it is both working for you in that way ...so just carry on being a wonderful you and let her actions go over your head . Don't worry , others will have noticed what she is like , but you just have to make the best of it and enjoy your dancing .

^^^ This!

 

Ignore the negative, focus on the positive and be grateful for what comes your way, Op.

Have fun, life is too short to be placing your focus on any negatives you perceive her to be flinging your way. And remember: You get back from the Universe what you send out to it so make those vibes positive, happy ones with visions of abundance.

 

Read The Secret with an open, accepting mind.