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Hello, I'm 21 years old and my ex is 20. Beforehand I'm going to tell that english is not my first language, so sorry about mistakes. So me and my ex we were together for 3 years. Relationship was really great, we did evertything together, we were trully in love with each other. Unfortunatly after 2 years, I had to move to other country for a month, when I came back I found out that she was meeting other guy. I felt really bad, but I managed to get over it and I forgave her. But things didn't end there. After that she started meeting with her ex, they even slept together. I got really angry, we argued alot and to be honest she didn't seem to be really sorry about that, but I just couldnt dump her, my feelings got really hurt, but I still loved her alot. And yes she cheated third time after couple of months. I couldnt take it anymore, I even cried probably first time since chilhood. Before that I was really confident, I had social life, friends, but after those three years that I tried to do best I could for us, it was all crushed. My self esteem was really low after that, I didnt have any friends anymore or social life, I felt depressed. However I couldn't see her begging for forgivness, crying, so yes we got back together. But after that she dumped me. She told me that she doesn't see us having children anytime.. All these years I spent all my time for her, not myself, however I was happy being with her.. after she dumped me I was depressed, It was worst weeks in my life. Time passed ,after a month I managed to start studying as a cook, I was getting back in life, but she texted and asked me If I want to meet with her, probably because I did no contact rule. Well, I agreed since I wa still thinking about her every single day probably 100 times a day. We spent a great day together, she told me that she misses me and wants to be together, I told the same and today she ignored me all day and she told me she has a new boyfriend. All my work improwing my self during that month went down the drain, this time I feel even worse, I cant imagine her with anyone else, I can't do anything during a day. I know I'm obsessed with her and it's killing me. I feel like I cant live without her. I have had orher girlfriends but it's not the same.. I even thoughs of a suicide.. I need advice how to get over it.. I cant live like this anymore, I hope I could delete all memories I have and start my life again and I dont have anyone I could talk about this, I dont even want my parents to know all about this. I act nice and happy infront of my family, relatives because I dont want them to feel bad about all this story, I just cant let them know all this. I just dont have anyone to talk with, I feel so lonely and depressed, I dont sleep during nights and I cant stop thinking of her.

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Look, don't even think about suicide. This girl's a cheater! She has no loyalty. She isn't worth your emotions. She doesn't feel about you the same way you feel about her. I'm sure there are more bad things about her that you don't know. The romance was all on your side. She has an incredible need to be loved, but she doesn't care where she gets it from.

 

You've got to snap out of it. She never really loved you. You need to find a girl who will love you. Stop moping around. Get out there and find someone.

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An uncomfortable truth is infinitely preferable to a beautiful fantasy.

 

Think of yourself before you met her. You were fine and you will be fine again.

 

If you haven't already, delete and block her number, block her on ALL social media. Put all her emails, keepsakes, pictures somewhere you won't "accidentally" come across them.

 

It takes time. Try to use that time on yourself. Whenever you catch yourself thinking about her, forgive her. Forgive yourself. And remind yourself you ARE better off now. You definitely do NOT want that one back. She didn't respect you. You never meant the same to her as she did to you, and you deserve better than that. She has moved on and so should you.

 

Be strong. It does get easier.

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Thank you for your advices. I'll do my best to be strong and keep myself from contacting her. However I still can't stop thinking about her and I feel like it's all my fault. She blocked me on facebook without saying anything. I still want to call her and probably I will, even though, it's a bad decision and it won't make it any better. Last evening I went to her house without saying anything, with a few roses, to say goodbye forever. I called her and said that I'm next to her apartment and I came to say goodbye in a nice way, just to finish everything without any anger . However she didn't open door, she told me thats she's inside with her new boyfriend and they will not open doors no matter what. So I just left, I felt really angry, sad, depressed, even cried... And now, after all this I still want to be with her once again. I imagine how it sounds, I should just leave her and don't think about her, but I jusy keep making same mistake ove and over again

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Thank you for your advices. I'll do my best to be strong and keep myself from contacting her. However I still can't stop thinking about her and I feel like it's all my fault. She blocked me on facebook without saying anything. I still want to call her and probably I will, even though, it's a bad decision and it won't make it any better. Last evening I went to her house without saying anything, with a few roses, to say goodbye forever. I called her and said that I'm next to her apartment and I came to say goodbye in a nice way, just to finish everything without any anger . However she didn't open door, she told me thats she's inside with her new boyfriend and they will not open doors no matter what. So I just left, I felt really angry, sad, depressed, even cried... And now, after all this I still want to be with her once again. I imagine how it sounds, I should just leave her and don't think about her, but I jusy keep making same mistake ove and over again

 

What do you mean to say goodbye forever? To her, not because you want to commit suicide I hope.

You need to find your strength to get to a doctor and get antidepressant medication.

 

Many suicidal people get relief on the meds. Please help yourself. You've shut yourself off from talking to

people. You are never alone, even though you feel like you are. Coming here and venting shows you want

help. This girl is not worth your pain. If she loved you, she would not hurt you in this way. I know that hurts

to hear, but sweetie you have an entire life ahead of you. Love to give to a girl who truly deserves you, and appreciates you.

 

If you look back, she was never good to you. You are missing the idea of her. You are feeling lonely.

She was toxic sweetie. Even to herself. She's not loyal, trustworthy, nor appreciative.

You know what you can do with those roses when you want to give them to her?

You can put smiles on other peoples faces by handing them out. You never know who's day you might change

by an act of kindness. And you will get the same in return. Pay it forward.

 

This is going to take a long time, but trust me you will get better.

It always seems like the end, but it isn't. Find your courage, block her, ignore her, and heal.

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Sweetgirl28, thank you for these kind words, it really touched me. No, I wasn't thinking about suicide, I wanted to end everything between me and my ex.

 

During a call next to her apartment, I asked to hand a phone to her new boyfriend, I called him many bad words for not being a man and opening a door and talking face to face, which probably wasn't mature way to talk from my side.

 

In our relationship there was many days when we were in love, she was very kind to me, sweet. I keep living in dreams with a hope to get her back.

 

Recently I started attending cooking classes, I met many great people and we are having fun learning and cooking together, however during classes I still can't stop thinking about her, sometimes I start feeling such pain, depression, that I just want to leave school at that moment and go home. During all day I cant concentrate on my tasks. When I get home things get even worse, because I live alone in my apartment. Anxiety, depression and all thoughts are about her and how to get her back.

 

I would like to go to a psychologist, but I don't have any spare money, I spend most of my income on apartment and classes.

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