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Only see her 1-2 times a week.


vmaypa

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Last weekend I made it official with a girl I’ve been seeing for 2 months. Before we made it official she told me she really hasn’t had the time to date because she’s so busy. She has a three year old kid, works three 12 hour shifts on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday as a CNA and also goes to school Monday and Wednesday. For the most part she has the weekends off. Knowing how busy she is, she has never turned me down to hang out or go on a date excep for when she has to study for an upcoming exam. I’m even surprised she wanted to be my girlfriend. The thing I’m concerned about is if seeing her only 1-2 times a week is sufficient enough for a relationship? I go to school Mon-Wednesday as a nursing student so I’m pretty busy myself with reading and studying. We mostly only see each other on the weekend, but there are times when I want to see her on the days she goes to school. We keep in contact with each other through text during the week. I might be acting selfish, but I’m starting to like her a lot to where I want to see her more often.

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. Before we made it official she told me she really hasn’t had the time to date because she’s so busy. .

 

You went into this with your eyes wide open.

It's before you officially tie yourself to someone do you weigh the cost/benefits.

Not after.

 

If it's not enough then say so now.

It's not selfish . . It's a legitimate need you have and it's different than hers.

However, you should have considered it before hand, not now.

 

It's up to you. You either accept the terms or move on.

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I really like her and the way we have hints at the moment sort of works for me as it gives me time to focus on school. I just didn’t want to suffocate her with what she already has by asking her to hang out every weekend, or making it appear as if I’m too clingy. I asked her if she wanted to go to the gym together this weekend and she said, “yes!”

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Hello OP. IMO 1-2 week can be fine while you both have these schedules. Perhaps talk with her about consisering how things might be once these schedules free up, even if that is going to be years out. Talk about it so you know you're on the same page.

Also talk about you're bit of angst about the time limitations to see if she's feeling the same. If you're both feeling the same in missing each other and would get together more if you could---that might help as a consolation for when you're down about missing her. Think to yourself about how it's going to feel when you cannot see her for 2-3 weeks because someone is sick or other issue.

If you think that your angst is one sided and is going to cause you to complain a lot (even though your schedule is also to blame) then consider if this relationship is really right for you.

That caution aside, IMO it could be a good R. Good luck!

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