Is my relationship coming to an end?

[BlackWhite]

So I've been with my current girlfriend for 4, nearly 5 years. We got together at 18/19 and have always done great in terms of sticking together, resolving rough patches and looking to the future etc. We're talking about moving in together later in 2018.

 

So around 3 or 4 months ago I noticed myself developing a crush on a girl that I served at work most days. I thought not much of it and just put it down to a touch of infatuation, as in it'll be short lived, forget about it. But even now I find myself getting more enjoyment out of talking to this girl in particular than I do out of seeing my girlfriend. To be honest I probably see this girl more often than my girlfriend right now.

 

My girlfriend has been asking questions along the lines of, should we still be together? Do you still love me? and so on. I've not given her any indication that I might have feelings for someone else as I see it as I should concentrate on my current relationship and not f*ck that up.

 

But with my feelings swaying towards other girls is it fair to say that I need to have a talk with my girlfriend over all of this?

[ThatwasThen]

If she's asking the questions she's asking then its obvious that you HAVE given her some indication that you're drifting away from her. I can only imagine how you're sitting there daydreaming about the girl you are crushing on instead of placing your focus on your girlfriend. I suggest you stop talking so much with this other girl, don't do any flirting or respond to any from her and refocus your energy back onto your girlfriend so that your crush diminishes. If you don't want to do that, then bite the bullet and end things with your girlfriend and go sow some wild oats.

 

Think hard before you give up on a girl you love for some greener grass that might not be all it appears on the surface.

[Careerchoice]

You've been going back and forth on this for a few months now. These feelings will not simply go away. You know your gf isn't right for you, but you can't seem to bring yourself to pull the trigger on breaking it off. How many more months will you waste? You only have a certain number of days on this planet.

[ThatwasThen]

Its funny how she was just right for him before he let himself crush on someone else.

[thealchemist]

As a guy who has been with his wife since high school I can empathize a bit.

 

You are already to the point of having an emotional affair if you talk to this woman more than your SO.

 

Your SO can obviously tell this because of her comments to you.

 

But in my opinion the grass is never greener on the other side, it is greener where you water it. You are developing a relationship with this other girl because you are putting effort into her and not your SO.

 

That kind of mentality can be an issue, especially for many people I have seen start it and just do it in every relationship. They let their current relationship get stale and spice up some other relationship with another person.

 

Now, if you have some real and honest things with your current SO that are breaking the relationship I can understand. If people dont grow together with time they grow apart, you can never be static.

 

If you have been with your SO this long there has to be a lot of good reasons.

 

I am 30 and have been with my SO for 13 years. I got a little cold feet at a point, not involving another person, just second guessing staying in the relationship. I thought long and hard about my them Gf and our future.

 

I chose to stay. After that our relationship blossomed into something I never imagined. I worked on it with my SO and we are so much more in love now than we ever were, and we were pretty crazy about each other then.

 

If you can't make it work now with your current Gf what would be so different with this other person that constitutes changing partners? If you have some large incompatibilities I can understand. But if it just fizzled out then unless you change yourself that will most likely happen again.