Ex of 3 years already in new relationship after a month

[Crystal1988]

Me and my ex broke up 6 weeks ago after a very bad breakup - it was full of emotional and physical abuse (mostly from their side and my physical side in self defence.) After a couple weeks they were already going on a date with someone as they told me and I’ve recently been told that they are in a relationship with this person after a month of meeting them. It’s not the first time this has happened (except the fact it was only sex with this person.) They started sleeping with someone else the day after we stopped working on things the last time we split up ans got back together - so I know they do tend to jump from person to person.

 

They made me feel bad about everything I did, made me feel guilty if they didn’t have plans and I wanted to spend time with my family or friends. I pushed away my friends because of it and I lost friends that we were as a couple friends with and now I’m trying hard to build my current friendships back up and it’s difficult as I’m learning to make the effort again after ages of not bothering due to my partner making me feel guilty for everything.

 

A few days before they went on a date they claimed that they were depressed and upset and couldn’t stop thinking about me, they also openly admitted to being on my website (it’s a singing post website of me doing covers of songs) They went on the date that weekend.

 

They still visit my website as I have a stat tracker but they’re in a relationship with the new person? They have been visiting my website on and off since we split up. And in the last few days they accessed it. The last time was last night. I don’t understand why they are still going online to my site if they are in a relationship? I certainly wouldn’t want to listen to my ex singing or their voice if I was in a new relationship! They also never put they were in a relationship with me on their Facebook due to work and they’ve put they are with this person apparently. I am not in contact with my ex and haven’t been since the day they told me they were going on a date. I want to keep it that way as I feel safe. I was told by one of her friends and it came up in conversation from her side.

 

I am happy the relationship is over, I knew in the back of my head they were involved with this person anyway so I have had time to process it and the idea of them being with someone else. They have a daughter who I really connected with and said they wanted to focus on them and couldn’t see themselves in a relationship for a long time. My mental health and life suffered from being in the relationship, I just don’t understand how they can move on so quickly? This person manipulated me, made jokes of me and my weight and was angry and abusive towards me. It makes me upset thinking that I was so replaceable in such a short time period when they said they had loved me more than anything. I’m not upset the relationship is over I am upset as I feel like the last few years of my life were wasted.

 

I don’t want to be in a relationship until I am ready as I need to love myself again, build on my friendships and get my mind back in order as I suffered mentally and became depressed in the relationship, I am still struggling with it but getting better every day. It makes it easier that I don’t hear from them but naturally curiosity kills the cat - it was so unbelievable toxic. We were together three years and I just don’t get how it’s easy for them, being so happy and moving on so easily whilst I feel like there’s still a long way to go in terms of getting back to my old self.

 

Needing some advice!

X

[No1]

have you thought about that it wasnt that they moved on from you, the fact that he may have never moved on from the X? Im not saying this happened to you, but some people project their love for their X on their new GF or BF. 3 yrs is a long time to do this but maybe he just never emotionally and/or mentally moved on from the previous relationship and put it in the back of his mind, then when the chance to come back showed up, he took it.

So it wasnt that you were replaced, he was never emotionally yours to begin with.

 

You can look back to many points that happened the past 3 yrs, but it will do you no good. Just accept that it didnt work out and you can hold your head up high knowing you were a great GF and he was very lucky to have been with you. Now, its time to focus on you, be happy and there is some other lucky guy out there waiting to meet you.

[kamurj]

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