dave4443 Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Is it normal to start feeling like youre healing just to jolt straight back into the crap feeling again? I had a good few days where I could tell I was caring less, but suddenly it just all hit me again and I feel a strong urge to talk to her. I'm not going too contact first because I know that'd be stupid, plus she's a completely different person right now from what I've heard. Just wondering if anyone else had these setbacks, guess I can still look back and realise at least I'm eating properly and can hold conversations with people this time it's just annoying getting so close to being okay to back like this Link to comment
MopeyCircle Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Yes. I do that all the time. I went a month where I didn’t feel anything towards my ex. I even wondered if it was weird that I didn’t feel anything so soon after breaking up. Then this past week a lot of anger and resentment and hurt came flying out. Link to comment
Carus Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Doing the same here...3 months out. Was feeling ok in the middle there somewhere, but these last 2 weeks have been just like the first 2. This is the grieving process doing it's thing as we cycle through Denial to Anger to Acceptance...and then back to Denial ad nauseum etc... So we may feel a bit better in Denial and certainly Anger as Anger brings strength and is easier to handle than the sadness.... But then we start to transition towards Acceptance....which brings the reality and the finality of the situation to light. This will go around and around for a while, and every person will heal at their own pace.... But it does ease up eventually...especially if you learn to grieve this loss properly. I've seen a couple of recent threads saying that they are still upset after 1 year, after 2 years etc... There are certainly triggers that can bring that stuff up, (hearing your ex got married/is pregnant are biggies), but it also tells me that these people have not grieved the loss properly... People throw themselves into work, or exercising, or shopping, or rebound relationships, or in worse cases, drugs and alcohol...all in an effort to 'stay busy' and avoid feeling those painful emotions. (exercising is definitely recommended btw....) But you need to feel it to heal it.....It's not fun but you need to sit with the bad days when they come and be kind to yourself and let them pass...Not try to avoid them. As an example, my exwife told me the other day that she is just trying to stay busy to not think about how she's feeling... I told her "Yeh well that will work for a little while"..... The ironic thing there is that SHE broke up with ME! Go Figure....(?) Stay Up Everyone Carus* Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Completely normal. If only we could all stay in the anger stage!!! Lol I am back there after 7 weeks of no contact. You'll get there. Be strong. Link to comment
dave4443 Posted October 30, 2017 Author Share Posted October 30, 2017 Thanks guys! Yeah I know it's just the knowing she's fine at the moment I guess partying all the time where I still feel pretty down about it all. I definitely don't want her to have a hold on me after a year or two that would suck hopefully grieving it all now will help That! Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Thanks guys! Yeah I know it's just the knowing she's fine at the moment I guess partying all the time where I still feel pretty down about it all. I definitely don't want her to have a hold on me after a year or two that would suck hopefully grieving it all now will help That! You're doing it the right way! And will be far better off. Just because she's partying it up doesn't mean she's happy. It gets really old doing that, and it's quite self destructive. You keep being you, the right girl is going to come along. Be patient. Link to comment
Dominique Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Yes. It happens. I'm craving my ex now in the worst way. Physically and emotionally. It's been since February. Some things just trigger.... For me it's football season. Remembering fun we had. Just allow yourself to feel it. Don't wallow. Don't contact. And know that it will pass IF U ALLOW IT TO. I promise. Sending you light and love 💙 Link to comment
android123 Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 How do u KNOW this? U shouldn't be looking into her life at all for your own sake. No good comes out of that, unless you accidentally hear she's miserable. Link to comment
dave4443 Posted October 31, 2017 Author Share Posted October 31, 2017 I don't look into it Haha, I just run into people she knows a lot through my work so I hear it annoyingly. Yeah I'll avoid contacting her anyway, think it's just getting worse coming up to Christmas but working on a career and exercise has definitely been better over partying constantly Link to comment
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