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Why does he talk to me if he has a girlfriend


ritamaria94

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He’s really not the player type, he’s a good guy, very sweet, maybe even a little nerdy. We used to hang and text a few years ago until I got in a relationship. A year later it ended and the old friend started commenting on my pictures and stuff. I thought maybe he wanted to pursue something now that I’m single but then he recently got in a relationship. I don’t ever hit him up, he usually comments on my stuff. But recently he sent a message on social media and we joked about good ol days. I stopped replying because I didn’t wanna disrespect his girl. Any reason a nice guy would message another girl if he’s taken? I don’t think we were ever just “friends” so I feel like it’s odd to message someone you were kinda attracted to if ur with someone. I feel like I had butterflies when we were chatting, like I was 17 or 18 again. Maybe a piece of me just wishes one day the timing would be right and we might end up together? It’s funny how he can still make me laugh

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I realize you may like him, but have some respect - respect for his girl, respect for their relationship, and most importantly, respect for yourself. If you were his girlfriend, how would you feel about this going on behind your back? And who is to say that if you were to date him, he wouldn’t do this exact thing behind your back? Attracted or not, it’s not right.

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Eh, truly "nice guys" don't message other girls behind their girlfriends' backs - at least not messages that could be construed as flirty or inappropriate.

 

He probably likes the attention and ego boost. You are seeing what kind of guy he really is. Nerdy guys can be crappy boyfriends too. I don't know where people get the impression that the so-called "nerds" are by default not players. Anyone can behave badly. He gets a kick out of the banter between you, but still goes home to his girlfriend, so to speak.

 

Since you know it's not heading in a good direction, you made the right choice in cutting communication.

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