I can't tell the woman I love the truth.

[Antlittle]

I have been in love with this girl for over 10 years. Since the day we met we just clicked. I was always scared to pursue anything so settled as friends and I was ok with that for a while. The older I get the worse the feeling are getting. We've both had other relationships through out the years but all I can think about when I'm with a girlfriend is this other girl. Almost as if no one else compares to her. At times I feel as if she feels the exact same way I do and we've both left it too long. Other times I think don't be stupid, why would she like me when she could pretty much get whoever she wanted to. I feel as if I can't say anything to her now which I know sounds sad and pathetic but the thought of not having her in my life at all due to scaring her away, terrifies me. I've never cared about someone so much in my life and I'll always be there for her but I don't know how/if I can erase these feelings from my head. We have the same friends group to so I feel as if I can't talk to them about it either. Even though they could probably guess anyway.

[ThatwasThen]

Well, as long as you have her in your head and heart like you do, antlittle you're not going to find yourself a partner that you'll end up staying with and how unfair to any girl you do get with for the short while when you're not ever going to be all in with her. Having this girl you're crushing on in your thoughts is like the proverbial pink elephant in the room.

 

Why don't you bite the bullet and tell her you'd like to try with her to see if you can advance the relationship past simple friendship? See what she has to say and if she doesn't feel the same way about you then at least you can do the mental work you need to do to get that elephant out between you and any new girl you happen to date.

[ImokIthink]

Wow, 10 years is a long time to be secretly into someone and not even hint at it by doing something spontaneous. If I was in your position, I would set aside a date or is her birthday coming up anytime soon? Make reservations at her favorite restaurant (in 10 years I'm pretty certain she's express her favorite things to you) sweep her off her feet by going above and beyond and doing for her something that's never been done, and by then there won't be any need for words just your action. But you have to act now, because keeping that secret and not having a chance at true love and happiness will be something you regret the day someone else takes the initiative.

[Poppy1]

I was in love with this male friend of mine for about 7 years, and the feeling just kept growing and growing with each passing year. You know what I did? We were having drinks a few months ago and I told him my secret. Flat out confirmed that 'yes, I'm in love with you.' He hasn't spoken to me since, and while I feel slightly broken, I feel proud of myself that I laid it all out. I secretly thought he loved me too, but that's clearly not the case. Thankfully I'm dating someone knew now, who I think I'm beginning to fall for. I think the act of confessing my love, diminished it somehow and freed me up to love someone else.

[DaisyMayPorter]

You should tell her how you feel! Well, break up with the other girl first. Then tell her how you feel and take her out.

[lenovo]

Do it, i told my friend of 9 years how i felt about her.....turns out after a bit of grafting she felt the same. One thing though, you need to work harder than a regular guy to date and keep the romance if she accepts, otherwise they feel that you are just friends and end it....that's what happened to me! We are not longer friends

[ThatwasThen]

The OP hasn't been back into his thread since Oct 29th. I wonder if he confessed his feelings?