irinawys928 Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 guys i got 9 hours left... I know I will keep binge watching threads and videos about wether I should text him a simple happy birthday, and by the end of the day I will not send him anything. but deep down Im panicing, what if we miss the only door to break the ice? A little background, I've broke up with him twice because he didnt seem to want to commit, so even though I was the 'dumper' but I was the one more devoted into the relationship. But when we were together, sparks were flying all around, he's a kind and polite person, and I knew for a fact that he didnt use me for sex because he cant really get it up. Anyway, it's been almost 3 months since NC, my birthday was 2 months after I broke it off and he didnt text me anything. But I was thinking yeah because dumpee can get hurt and during the second break up I cursed a bit but it wasnt that bad.... Should I still send him a HB text?... I know how it is predictable it will just let him get his validation, but still.. what should I do? Link to comment
caro33 Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 What do you want to be the outcome? Link to comment
irinawys928 Posted October 21, 2017 Author Share Posted October 21, 2017 to just start talking.... maybe slowly seeing each other again Link to comment
irinawys928 Posted October 21, 2017 Author Share Posted October 21, 2017 What do you want to be the outcome? to just start talking.... maybe slowly seeing each other again Link to comment
Hollyj Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 N0! He didn't want a commitment and the sex sucked! No future here! It's just another day. Block, delete and move on! Link to comment
irinawys928 Posted October 21, 2017 Author Share Posted October 21, 2017 N0! He didn't want a commitment and the sex sucked! No future here! It's just another day. Block, delete and move on! lol i get what you mean. the sex sucked yes but one the other hand, it's not just my body that he wants....? even tho he wouldnt commit... sigh. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 He sounds like a platonic friend: no sex and no commitment. Stop wasting your time. No future. Expect more!!! Link to comment
caro33 Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 I think you've got to ask yourself what would change if you got back together again. He's not going to become the committed person you wish he was, at least certainly not by anything you do. It seems to me that you miss him, but while that's understandable, it's not a reason to go through the cycle for the third time. Link to comment
irinawys928 Posted October 21, 2017 Author Share Posted October 21, 2017 He sounds like a platonic friend: no sex and no commitment. Stop wasting your time. No future. Expect more!!! I think you've got to ask yourself what would change if you got back together again. He's not going to become the committed person you wish he was, at least certainly not by anything you do. It seems to me that you miss him, but while that's understandable, it's not a reason to go through the cycle for the third time. thank you so much guys for your speedy replies... trust me, i know the rational and i studied the number, but my heart says otherwise, i know i wont text him because of nothing different would come out of it and my ego's too big to approach him. I just still need to hear you guys' advice to give me that extra boost. Link to comment
Elavohra Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 No birthday text, nothing! You don't know him anymore and neither he knows you! Period! Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 If he wanted to speak to you or take this anywhere he wouldn't need a window of opportunity ..he would just contact you ..he wont be sat with a metaphorical alarm clock panicking that the window of opportunity is nearly over . Link to comment
irinawys928 Posted October 21, 2017 Author Share Posted October 21, 2017 If he wanted to speak to you or take this anywhere he wouldn't need a window of opportunity ..he would just contact you ..he wont be sat with a metaphorical alarm clock panicking that the window of opportunity is nearly over . thank you so much for this, again of course I've thought about this, but there might be once or twice where after our fight he didnt contact me until i did(other times he did reach out to me first, so not one sided), his reason being 'afraid that i was still mad at him'. so my theory is he didnt text me on my birthday was because he thought i was still mad at him and wouldnt want to ruin 'my day'. and now it's his birthday, which gives me an oppurtunity to tell him im not longer mad at you. gosh i feels like im still defending for him.. i feel pathetic.. it's 6:32 pm here and there are 99.9% of the chance that i will just let it be, no texting no nothing... Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 thank you so much for this, again of course I've thought about this, but there might be once or twice where after our fight he didnt contact me until i did(other times he did reach out to me first, so not one sided), his reason being 'afraid that i was still mad at him'. so my theory is he didnt text me on my birthday was because he thought i was still mad at him and wouldnt want to ruin 'my day'. and now it's his birthday, which gives me an oppurtunity to tell him im not longer mad at you. gosh i feels like im still defending for him.. i feel pathetic.. it's 6:32 pm here and there are 99.9% of the chance that i will just let it be, no texting no nothing... Honest darling all these working out are exactly the same as everyone elses. ....from things like * well he is a very proud man , he wouldn't contact me but he would respond* ..to * he is really shy and wouldn't want to upset me by contacting me * to * he never was good with money I bet he hasn't renewed his phone contract * ..we will always find a reason to justify it ...I did too . Ultimately it is your decision not ours and the reason why we are all so against it is because we see it daily on here and it never ends well . Link to comment
irinawys928 Posted October 21, 2017 Author Share Posted October 21, 2017 Honest darling all these working out are exactly the same as everyone elses. ....from things like * well he is a very proud man , he wouldn't contact me but he would respond* ..to * he is really shy and wouldn't want to upset me by contacting me * to * he never was good with money I bet he hasn't renewed his phone contract * ..we will always find a reason to justify it ...I did too . Ultimately it is your decision not ours and the reason why we are all so against it is because we see it daily on here and it never ends well . i understand.. msg well received.. a min ago i was on the verge of losing it.... i thought about his face.. how happy we were when one of us cracked a joke... thank you pippy, 10:47 now i will keep it strong Link to comment
Hollyj Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 thank you so much for this, again of course I've thought about this, but there might be once or twice where after our fight he didnt contact me until i did(other times he did reach out to me first, so not one sided), his reason being 'afraid that i was still mad at him'. so my theory is he didnt text me on my birthday was because he thought i was still mad at him and wouldnt want to ruin 'my day'. and now it's his birthday, which gives me an oppurtunity to tell him im not longer mad at you. gosh i feels like im still defending for him.. i feel pathetic.. it's 6:32 pm here and there are 99.9% of the chance that i will just let it be, no texting no nothing... You are making excuses and trying to rationalize something that should not be rationalized. He does not want a commitment and your physical relationship was terrible. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 i understand.. msg well received.. a min ago i was on the verge of losing it.... i thought about his face.. how happy we were when one of us cracked a joke... thank you pippy, 10:47 now i will keep it strong Bless you xx you are doing fab Link to comment
irinawys928 Posted October 23, 2017 Author Share Posted October 23, 2017 Bless you xx you are doing fab i failed.. miserably.. i couldnt resist even until the next day, i texted him happy belated. and as i predicted, his reply was a simple 'thank you' with no follow up questions. i was devasted, my friend said i dug my own grave(we are chinese). after an hour of that thank you reply, i made a joke about how i thought texting him is sth i could handle, because he used to like my dry humour i was thinking i could remind him of that. 2 hours after my msg he replied: how have you been? me: had my ups and downs, busy preparing for midterms, wbu? him: not much change busy working and i left it here.. he has never been this cold to me before, i thought he would still have feelings for me, even the feeling is gone(which i dont believe it.. it's only been 2-3 months) he could have at least show me he wants to talk to me... anyway, like i said, i failed.. im a textbook failure, i tried so hard to get passed that almost 3 moths of NC, now i have to experence the pain all over again, with stuff at school, i cant handle it.... my whole body is aching. sorry guys, i went back for my 'drug addition'... Link to comment
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