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i have no idea what is going on, need help asap


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for starters im a guy 26 american

she is 20 also american

relationship lasted 2yrs


we 1st met in college 2yrs ago it was suppose to be a one night stand that turned into way more. We started talking to eacher other more hanging out and just having fun, it was my last year of college and her 1st year. we started kiving together almost right away, she basically lived in my dorm until the ras stepped in and then i lived in her dorm. she moved down state with me once i finished school, and we lived together with my buddies for about 6 months til me and her got our own place. we were happy in love, we worked alot and did what we could when we could. eventually i asked her to marry me so we became engaged. from the very begining she told me she was bi, i eventually told her if you want to see women you can, as long as you come home to me thats all i cared about. she agreed but never really acted on it, made out with different women and cuddled but nothing beyond that, about 6months ago she meets a girl online starts talking to her and i had no problems at 1st with the other girl because she lived in a different state. as time went i noticed my fiancee would act different this other girl was maniplulating her trying to be controlling, the other girl knew about me but wasnt happy, and any girls that my fiancee would talk to even if they were just friends she would become insanly jealous. i told fiancee how i felt and she agreed to stop talking to her. a couple more months go by we get a puppy. then one day over something absolutly ridicoulus my fiancee ends it. just flat out of no where, says shes not happy, doesnt feel apprecaited, says im immature and stuff that didnt make sense, stuff that didnt sound like her. so we end things.....



In the process of trying to figure out what happened i find her facebook opened on my computer and i discover a series of messages to another man who is 20 and went to high school with, they only went back about a month. i confront her about she owns up to it, she eventually comes to move her stuff out of our house(my name is on the lease). shes telling friends that are helping her move that hes not fighting for me, if he would change i would stay...... we talk off and on here there for 2 weeks, and everytime we talk she tells me she misses me and sorry about the other guy and so on. but when i tell her i forgave about the other guy and asked her to come back she would say stuff like i cant, i havent forgiven you(me), or im trying to figure out myself, i want to explore this and that..... when she moved she quit her job and dropped out of school because she was moving back to her moms 2hrs away.



2 weeks go by we talk here and there, i evenutally just give her space and start moving on talk to other women and so on. i went up to her moms to drop some stuff that she left, and asked to our dog, my ex was out of town but said it was fine it would just be up to her mom. her mom says no im now even more heartbroken. couple days go by and she starts liking everything i post on instagram every. that same day on my way home she txt me asking if i want to watch out dog this upcoming weekend without even thinking i said yes, she tells me she will bring the dog down on thursday. i say no problem, she brings our dog down and as soon as i see both of them im overwhelmed with emotion, i break down crying holding the dog(ex ran pass me because she had to pee) i get it together and go inside and my ex comes out the bathroom and we both start crying and kissing and we end up taking a shower together, we end up sleeping together, shes cuddling me after and telling me shes sorry and how she regrets moving out and wishing she would of stayed(i had found her other set of car keys that she left).



We start talking about things that need to change and getting back together and telling me how she is falling for me all over. i give her her keys and she starts taking the house key off, i put it back on and tell her "anytime you need a place to stay for whatever reason just call or txt me and let me know you are coming" she says ok she tells me she will probally be back sunday and stay the night at my house. we talk more and tells me what is really going on, and what she meant when she wanted to explore she wanted to see if shes attracted to men or women, shes going out of state to this other womens house to sleep with her....im the only one that actually knows where she is right now. her mom knows what city but doesnt know i have the dog and that she is staying at this womens house she tells me its the other women from a couple months ago, she wants to really see if she is truly bi or just a phase.


Ive been 100% supportive because we arent together i cant tell her no dont go, i tell her have fun and text me or call me when you get there(5hr drive). for some gut reason i dont like this other girl, something deep inside says not to trust her. but i want my ex to be happy and so im being supportive instead. ive already texted her i hope your having fun and this and that sent pics and i get replys.... ive also texted her i miss her but didnt get a reply.....ive asked her when she is coming back so i can have the dog ready and she now says shes not sure......im not sure what is going on... im not sure what my ex is feeling she knows im talking to other women but its just talk...... idk if she really wants to get back together.....she says she needs to think....so i dont know i want your opinions.....everyone else but a handful of people have already said never talk to her again.

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That's better, thanks.


Sounds a bit challenging, do you want to get back together? I assume so.


I wonder why her questions over her sexuality have shifted to a priority now - has she explained? It's completely understandable that she wants to understand herself better, I raise it only because you said she stated she was bi from the start. It sounds from what you wrote that rather than embracing being bisexual she's trying to work out if she's gay or straight. Is that it?

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Yes, she's trying to figure that if she's gay or straight, wecjust had a conversation that she said as soon as she saw this other girl in person she instantly knew she found happiness. She goes on to say that she thinks she's a lesbian now and that sex with her is an emotional connection

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