My girlfriend broke up with me because she realised she still loves her ex

[Reme86]

My girlfriend of 4 months just broke up with me because she realised she was still in love with her ex, he moved back to Poland in April and she has been trying to get over it, she told me she wanted things to work with me so badly but she can't get over her feelings for him and they won't go away. After she told me I told her I had just fallen in love with her a week ago and couldn't find a way of telling her. She said that made it so much harder but she didn't want to string me along with her not being to give me her full love and attention. I really want her back and am willing to give her time and space if there is a chance things could work after she is over him, he lives in Poland and she told me she knows nothing will come of her feelings I want to do anything I can to make it work because she was such a lovely girl and the last few days have been agony for me

[MissCanuck]

Sorry to hear this, OP.

 

Unfortunately, there really is nothing you can do here. She did the right thing being honest with you, but the rest is out of your hands. She isn't over him yet and that's not a process you can change or expedite. It will come only with time for her, and sadly there is no guarantee she will come looking for you when she's ready to date again. For this reason, I would do your best to keep out of contact with her so you can detach.

[Reme86]

I won't be in contact with her for a minimum of two to three weeks. But I love her and she didn't leave on bad terms, nothing will happen between her and this guy. I'm willing to give her time and space and any help to get over it if I can, but she is too good to just let go, I realise chasing her will do more harm than good but equally I've let someone go before and regretted it, the girl I was just with was so genuine, the first person to make me feel happy and loved in a long time

[MissCanuck]

I won't be in contact with her for a minimum of two to three weeks. But I love her and she didn't leave on bad terms, nothing will happen between her and this guy. I'm willing to give her time and space and any help to get over it if I can, but she is too good to just let go, I realise chasing her will do more harm than good but equally I've let someone go before and regretted it, the girl I was just with was so genuine, the first person to make me feel happy and loved in a long time

 

That's rather irrelevant, I'm afraid. What matters is that her heart is still with him, which means she cannot be your girlfriend at this time. The fact that you two didn't end on a bad note is positive, but it does not change her feelings about him. That is the real crux of the matter. How long ago did they break up, and how long were they together?

 

The best thing you can do here is start accepting that it's over, and begin your recovery. She might come back, yes, but it will need to come from her. If she doesn't come back, then you will already be in a stronger place emotionally.

 

You have my sympathies, I know how much this sucks.

[Reme86]

She was with him about 3months I think and he left it late may, she knew he was going back to Poland when she met him ,it was only when he left that it got to her and she realised she loved him, it's been about 4 months since they split, I didn't realise how soon after that it was that she got with me. Things with us just sort of fell in to place and she kept saying how lovely I was, I just had no idea about this guy.

[Reme86]

She revealed to me she was trying to get over him because she knows nothing will happen between them but that's where her heart still is for now

[Ziggy123]

Sorry, sounds like she jumped in immediately with you and didn't give herself any time at all to heal. She needs time to heal now and get over him. Sorry that you are going through this I'm sure she wishes she was over him but that's beyond her control.