How do I redeem from being the crazy/toxic ex?

[SweetPeach]

Hey all,

I'm currently feeling a bit lost. I met this guy at a party in february and was instantly in love with him. We hit it off right away and dated for about six weeks, then we got into an argument, he ended things. I begged him to take me back and eventually we got back together. It was on and off for a few more weeks until he ended it completly. I continued to try to get him back. Obviously that didn't work. He became really angry/mean and pushed me away, told me he never wanted to talk to me again and we'll never have a relationship. I acted really crazy/immature/irrational. He had me blockef for about three weeks but unblocked me then. The post breakup time was really difficult for me...I'm depressed/was suicifal so that didn't help either. So anyhow I got my life back on track. But I kept wanting him back. Last friday he messaged me to apologize. I got mad hecause he said he misses the sex which made me feel like the person I actually am is absolutely irrelevant. So I got angry and called him an egoist etc etc. wrote him a massive Angry message and told him to please never contact me again. I was angry at myself for doing so. I still care for him. So today I sent him a short message saying 'I'm sorry about the way I acted, that wasn't necessary. I appretiate the thought. But we really need to let this go now, it's been going on for so long. I know you don't want to be friends or see me romantically and that's okay. Take care'.

I wanted to make things better but I feel like it just maye everything even worse. He has blocked me on whatsapp now... I know there's no way I'm getting him back now, he thinks I'm mental and the way I acted just proved his point. But how do I regain my own self trust and respect?

[pippy longstocking]

We all do stuff honestly .... just forgive yourself , we get so consumed , blurt out hate , then say sorry , then blurt out more , then are sorry again ... this is nothing to what some people do ....so just ..let it go ...you did what you did , you can't change it now ..make a decision right now to just be kind to yourself and accept that sometimes we all get a bit crazy .

[cristal]

You go strictly No Contact in order for you to redeem yourself. Men do not react to words. They react to No Contact.

 

Get professional help if you need to, so that you can regain your self esteem. Only then he will see you as a strong woman and not as a"mental case" as he referred to you.

[SweetPeach]

We all do stuff honestly .... just forgive yourself , we get so consumed , blurt out hate , then say sorry , then blurt out more , then are sorry again ... this is nothing to what some people do ....so just ..let it go ...you did what you did , you can't change it now ..make a decision right now to just be kind to yourself and accept that sometimes we all get a bit crazy .

 

Thank you. I'm trying to accept it. Sometimes people are good, just not for each other.

I'm just stuck in this right now. I'm still sticking to what I said when I told him to please don't contact me again as it will just end in more drama. I wont message him again. I said sorry so I need to let it go now... I just wish I could move really far away and change my name right now to start over and work on my dignity 🙃

[SherrySher]

I feel for you because it sounds very painful. You didn't fit right and were incompatible which is why you were on and off until you finally broke up. But you wanted him to care and to treat you right and to love and miss you and he didn't. It really can hurt very deeply. You reacted with pain and you showed your pain in different ways. You're not a bad person or wrong, you were hurting very badly.

You have to forgive yourself now and realize that you were trying to get this man to give a crap and he was just not going to. It sounds very frustrating.

But you need to rise above, you don't need him and you can be okay without him. There are other men in this world and someone else out there can make you just as happy and will love you back the way you are wanting to be.

You have your dignity, you always had it. You only tried to get love from someone who was cold and the wrong person for you. And it hurt and it would have hurt anyone.

Accept how it went, let it go, you're not a bad person.

[pippy longstocking]

Thank you. I'm trying to accept it. Sometimes people are good, just not for each other.

I'm just stuck in this right now. I'm still sticking to what I said when I told him to please don't contact me again as it will just end in more drama. I wont message him again. I said sorry so I need to let it go now... I just wish I could move really far away and change my name right now to start over and work on my dignity 🙃

 

Been there arghhh move planets or something ...

 

Yes you said sorry , and that's it done with . Remember you don't need to prove anything to him ...this is about you getting your self esteem back and walking away now .. you will be ok , each day that passes is another day closer to the freedom waiting for you .

[kamurj]

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