Grounds for breaking up?

[mermayd]

My bf of 3 yrs and I are currently 400 miles apart. I have gone to see him once and then I went down for my mom and he came out. but he has yet to come up to me. 3 months have passed. He said he needs to establish independence. I can understand and respect that. he feels like we are married and is scared of that. ok, thats fine with me. He has a life. thats great! I want him to! But it hurts that he doesnt take the time for me. to call. to IM. to see me. I feel unimportant and when I talk to him about it, he blows it off or puts a bandaid over it. The last few weeks, we have barely talked. we just went 4 days without any sort of communication. the conversation was minimal. Since then, it has been 3 days and I dont expect he will get in touch with me for another few days. it hurts. I refuse to be the "nagging wife" and I want him to have a life without me asking a million questions or intruding. I WONT be that person. I have tried talking to him and I dont get a response. So what else am I to do?

Someone decided to break up with their bf for farting. and everyone was egging that on. Does this mean that I should give up in my situation too?

[melrich]

Yeah 3 months is a long time not to see a girlfriend of 3 years. That doesn't sound too good mermayd. Obviously you have talked to him about it.

 

I think it is very unfair of him to expect you to maintain your relationship under those circumstances. My guess is there is something he's not telling you.

[Strandysmommy]

I don't like the sound of that. Did he used to be good about seeing you and is now suddenly withdrawn? I'd have a serious heart to heart with him; just tell him "you know, I don't want to be the nagging wife, so to speak, but I have noticed you seem kinda distant. I know you want independance and I respect that, but the last few interactions have left a bad taste in my mouth, like something is going wrong".

 

Just be sincere, not accusing. No finger pointing or any of that, no yelling. Just kinda ease the truth from him; now, you might not like the answer he gives you, so be ready for that as well. But it's better to know the truth that to sit in the dark, right?

[mermayd]

we have been living together for all of the time we have been together except for the past 3 months. within those 3 months, we have seen eachother twice, as I stated above.

 

I have talked to him already and nothing has changed. thats the problem. what do you do after that?