New to being Bi [Male]

[Catatonika]

Past November, I was watching a movie by myself and was just my normal Straight self. I saw this group of guys walk past the screen and my mind thought "Hey, he's cute" ... and all of the sudden i questioned myself "did i just say?!" ... I didnt really think about it until February where the feelings resurfaced in real life at school and now in the past month.. I'm pretty sure I'm Bi and not just "experimenting" or whatever most kids do.

 

Right now, I feel really weird about it sometimes like "that's... another guy" but sometimes.. I fantasize sexually about guys. It's just all really new. I'm 17. If anyone has any experience similar to this, I'd like to see about how things progress in life after this point and what you people think will happen. There's a VERY small hand-picked group of people that I've talked to that say it's ok (and that they wouldn't tell anyone else, because here where i live, there are a lot of gay&bi-hating rednecks and I don't want to get beaten up or something)...

 

Also, there is this certain part of me, that wants to experience... Bi-dom and see what this is all like in actuality. I am really interested in meeting someone around my school or something.. but I have no way of telling who is or isn't Bi. Or... how to progress a situation where I did find somebody. Like, how would I even bring it up?

 

Lots of thanks,

Catatonika

[newdawn812]

Hi Cat,

hmm...thinking, thinking...i personally am a more cautious person and would go slow, especially if you are in a redneck area. I don't want you to get beat up either!

 

Is there someone you actually like, or are you just curious in general?

 

When I was 16 or 17 i basically fell in love with my best friend but she wasn't into it (maybe cuz she's fairly religious, I don't know). Luckily, being the super coward I am, I only confessed my feelings *after* I had moved away.

 

At any rate we are still friends but ...I guess what I'm saying is, it's hard to know how people will take it. I feel like I am lucky because she didn't throw up and tell me to go to hell and we still keep in touch. (I thought I could read the *signs* but I guess not!)

 

Because you are just discovering these feelings, you may want to keep fairly quiet and just drool over internet guys or anime or whatever. Where I live it's very rare to see even the most flaming homosexual. I know of 3 all together only because they openly spoke about it. (Oh wait, a friend of mine talks about it all the time, but I'm not sure if he's just doing it for something to do.) I guess you'll have to start eavesdropping!

 

 

Good luck in whatever you decide. I'm looking forward to finding out what you do!

 

ND

[kaboom]

Dude, the only way you are going to find out whether u really do like guys THAT way or not is actually BEING with a guy. I did that, and i found out that i wasnt just curious or experimenting, that guys REALLY turn me on.

Eventually you will find somobody. Gays are ALL OVER the world, no matter how many rednecks there are in your area. Find a gay bar and hang around there, just get to meet and know people, then take your pick and go out.

HOWEVER, this might not be the best idea because the gay scene is not usually the "nicest" place in a town. You are also going to have to accept the fact that if in the end you are bi, you will be facing reject both from the straight and the gay communities. Isnt world a nice place...

How does it go from where you are now? well I can't really tell for you, but you are young so I'm assuming that if in the end you are indeed bi, you will have a series of relationships/hookups with people from both sexes, and if you ever want to get really commited, you will have to make a choice at some point in your life. But hey dont worry that's still many years down the road.

Don't worry too much about the rednecks. When i came out of the closet (well let's say an enemy "accidentally" yelled out in the middle of class that i was) in a boarding school packed with russians, which is arguably the most homophobic group on earth. They did threaten me and stuff but after a while they were pretty cool about it. I'm not saying paint your house with the colors of the bi flag, but dont stay closeted forever, it sucks.

[Catatonika]

Last night, i was driving with my two best friends. and told them. we actually ran off the road when i said it lol. But I was so happy to see them not all "OMG you're gay?!" they said that we're like brothers, which we are, and that my being Bi wouldn't really matter to them. It's just a big relief to hear that from them. hmm..

 

and I'm wondering about something else too. I know someone that is Bi, but he doesnt know that I am, or that im REALLY interested in him. like.. I've never hit on a guy before and I'm kind of wondering .. this sounds so stupid: How do i do it? omg he's cute hehe

[newdawn812]

I don't know, how would you hit on a girl? Have you talked to him before? Talking is always a good start...

[Catatonika]

efgh... im scared but i guess you're right. its actually... like 3 people haha. ill just find out .. ^_^

[newdawn812]

Wow, 3 people? That makes it better...don't rush it if you're too scared...just maybe feel things out and see how it goes...

[kaboom]

Three people? sounds like the route to having everyone know withing a couple of weeks.

Lemme tell you the way this goes. You start telling only those you really trust, then u tell the one wrong person, he blurts, and it spreads like gunpowder. BUT! relax because by that time your real friends already know and have digested it, and since it doesnt come as a surprise, then can support you, and if there's ever an argument about it, they'll side strongly with you.

How do you hit on a guy??? damn, i wouldnt be able to tell you either, i've usually only been hit on...

As someone said, talking is always a good idea...

[Catatonika]

^_^

[newdawn812]

good luck, Cat...can't wait to hear to hear what happens!