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Partner wanting parents


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I have been with my partner for a year now, her parents are separated and she rarely sees either of them. She lives on her own and often gets lonely and craves a parents presence but neither one of her parents are close enough/are interested. I genuinely believe her childhood has damaged her slightly and struggles a lot with being alone. How can I help take the pain away? I am always a huge support system for her, but I could never imagine not being around my own parents so Imm unsure how to help her and make it better for her. She is 22.

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You cannot take the pain away. I doubt her parents are ininterested in her. In fact, they love her. But the problem is that they can not give her exactly what she wants -- ie, erasing the past, going back to live with them like a little girl, or her parents getting back together. If she lives far away from them, encourage her to visit them -- take a trip to see them. But her expectations might not be realistic. But for the most part -- this may not be so much about the parents but her inability to entertain herself or be comfortable in her own skin. She needs counseling perhaps for that. Even people who have had loving, close, supportive intact families can sometimes end up having one of their kids have that temperment for unexplained reasons as well.

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I suffer the same problem and my idea have been to get new ones. To find some older couple who never had children and is dying to guide someone in life.


They're just REALLY hard to find since even the elderly are so occupied travelling and being busy nowadays.

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You can't help her. All you can do is support her in getting the help she needs.


There are groups that she can join that can help her overcome her past and lack of proper parental nurturing. Personal therapy is another choice for her to consider.


Learning how to nurture her inner child is a good place for her to start with some self-help. If she's not interested in doing anything to overcome then you'd do well to consider the merits of a relationship with her. You don't want to be trying to caretake her through the rest of yours and her life... that gets old fast.


Here's a couple of links that may get her started on her own road to recovery...





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