My husband and I don't have sex.

[lonelygrl]

I met my husband 4 years ago, while serving in the Navy. We were stationed together. At the time when we met he was married with a 4 year old son. We did have 1 sexual encounter before I knew about that though. When I found out I broke it off. When we returned home from our cruise, I just assumed he would go home and that was that. But he called and told me they were divorcing and she was moving back home with his son. Our relationship grew from there. Our sex was great, and quit frquent, sometimes 3-4 times a day. Even when our ship was out to sea. We were inseperable. In late 2003 we moved to the town where his ex and son were. We got married early 2004. Now I am lucky if we even have sex once a month. He used to hold me, and just look at me, kiss me, tell me how much he loved me. Now It's a quick kiss, I love you, good night. I feel as though I have to fight for his attention. If I don't aggressivly persue sex, I just have to do with out. I don't know what it is. Is he not attracted anymore, do I not turn him on?

[CarrieB123]

It is quite possible that his 1st wife got all of the same lovin' and attention that you got "IN THE BEGINNG" but it faded between him and her and it sounds like the same is happening between you two.

 

I hope this is not the case, but its very possible.

 

Do you think he could be cheating?

 

Did alot change after you two got married?

[Hope75]

Well I definitely think you need to talk to your husband about this.

 

Let him know that you are for him very much and that you want to make love more often, and find out what he's feeling.

 

It is a little disconcerting that he cheated on his first wife with you and then once you had the title of "wife" your sex life declined so much.

 

What do you think?

[Sn0man]

Have you told him you feel that he isn't giving you the attention you need/deserve? He may be comfortable with you and the way things are going. He may not know he needs to give you more attention, or think that he gives you enough. You need to talk to him about how you feel, and find out what he is thinking. Sometimes, us guys fall into a rut, where we won't be interested in sex as much as we would like to be for a time, but we usually get over it. Probably some sort of underlying issues like stress from work or family, or maybe depression or an anxiety problem. Just ask him. I'm sure it won't be a big deal and with communication you two can come to an understanding.

[lonelygrl]

My husbands first marrage was what used to be called a shotgun wedding. She got pregnant the first time they slept together, so he figured the right thing to do was marry her. They both were un happy, and decided a divorce was best. (I heard that from her aswell.). So our marriage has been different from the beginning. We have been married a little over a year now, and since then our sexual relationship has become inactive. When we were dating we were crazy, we'd go to the adult video stores and rent movies, like I said before, we would make love 2-3 times a day. I realize that people can get stressed, but that is no reason to take it out on your family. I have talked to him before, many times, he just says "I'm sorry, I'll try harder". I go through boughts of depression, he asks whats wrong I tell him, he says the same thing. It's old, and I am too young to have and 80 year old sex drive

[DN]

Since he says he will try harder and isn't, and can't come up with a reason. I think you should both go and see a therapist who specialises in this area. S/he may well be able to pinpoint what is wrong and can do it in a less stressful and non-confrontational way.

[Sn0man]

My best guess is it's something psychological. Ask him to see his doctor about his lack of sex drive. I have heard wellbutrin(i think) is supposed to help this kind of thing.