to all you singles out there...

[mermayd]

Dont be so envious and jealous of those who are in a relationship. Please keep in mind that every situation has its faults. Just as singlehood isnt always fun, relationships aren't all roses and glory, either. Everyone needs to keep this in mind.

just a random thought

[apollocreed71]

If you believe there was an Adam and Eve, then realize that Eve was created so he would not be alone. It still goes today no one wants to be alone forever, nothing is perfect, but as for the simple fact of reproduction, man cannot be alone.

I guess it would be alot easier if humans were asexual like some amphibians.

Would you feel the same way if you never were able to be in any kind of relationships. It seems that everyone who can get into a relationship easy, believes anyone can do it. It is not that easy. NOT to be rude or racist. That would be like saying a cacusian could know what it is like to be afro-american. They can learn about it, but unless they have the same issues to deal with everyday, you could never know.

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

I believe in Adam and Eve, and I believe that humans were never meant to be alone, and that it is cruel that some are alone and have no one to be with them. That is very cruel.

[mermayd]

im sorry, my comment wasnt meant to address those who have never had the experiences of a relationship. I am saddened by such circumstances as well. I was more addressing those who have and are not at the present moment

 

for the record, I dont believe in adam and eve as anything more than a metaphor to understand human nature. a good story. and that isnt meant to step on anyones toes. i am allowed my own veiws. But I do believe that humans we not meant to be alone. We need companionship. we are social beings, from an anthropological perspective. So social, as a matter of fact, that we are not monogomous either. only society and the church say we have to be. but thats a whole other issue. again, not trying to step on toes, so dont get offended

[ShySoul]

There are advantages and disadvantages to every situation in life. While we may want the companionship that comes with being in a relationship, we should also be happy with just being ourselves and not being in a relationship. Being in a relationship is not always the great, perfect thing that people want to believe it is and neither is being single. Be happy with what you have and know that the best is yet to come.

[mermayd]

thank you shysoul, that is EXACTLY what I meant!

[Shidoshi]

I really don't see the point in making a thread like this. You will not be happy with yourself if you are alone....period. People are envious and jealous because sharing your life with someone else is what we ALL want. I'm sorry, telling people to "be happy with just being ourselves" is just a small part of the puzzle, it cannot exist on its own......

[mshollywod]

Well I'm here to tell you both sides of the coin are right but imagine going through life never having been in a real relationship or in love. How's that for cruel and unusual punishment! I've dated guys, had faux relationships but never had a guy I could call my boyfriend or my man. I am over the age of 25 and have never said I love you to anybody. But I happy with myself, just not with my current status quo. Please feel free to comment.

[ShySoul]

The point is that people can become so obsessed with needing to be in a relationship and feeling so down about not being in one that it becomes unhealthy for them. Sure, we all want that kind of companionship. But we can't make that our goal or driving force in life. We need to be happy with ourselves first and realize that love will happen when its suppose to, its not something we can force or make happen. What's the saying, "in order to love others you have to love yourself."

 

For those who have never been in a relationship, myself included, realize that when it does happen it will be all that more special because you will have waited for someone who truly deserves it, someone with whom you really have that bond and connection. I've never had the chance to tell I girl I love her, but everyday I can look in the mirror and know that I love myself.

 

For those who have been in a relationship and miss the affection or happiness of being in one, realize that the right person is still out there. You are better off single then with the wrong person who will only hurt you in the end. There's a reason the past relationship didn't work, it wasn't meant to be. Be happy with yourself and your own life, a relationship will happen eventually and hopefully it will last.

[Shidoshi]

You are better off single then with the wrong person who will only hurt you in the end.

You won't know that you're going to be hurt unless you enter the relationship to begin with right?

 

I understand what you're saying for the most part, but the initial poster just isn't specific enough. You need to define "obsession" when you refer to people who do it in an unhealthy way, and what circumstances are involved. I mean a 50 y/o guy/gal who hasn't been in a relationship in many years could be "obsessing" over it.

[ShySoul]

Obsession could have varying levels so I can't really say at what point you can draw a line between ok wondering and unhealthy obsession. But regardless, you need to be happy with yourself first before you can really have that loving relationship you desire.

 

I get about not knowing if you'll be hurt unless your in a relationship. But in a great many cases you probably can tell. I was referring partly to people having been hurt in past relationships and saying they are better off without that person who hurt them. Also, some people rush into relationships because they miss they affection, knowing full well that the person they are with isn't someone they could be with in the long term. They let there eagerness for a relationship cloud there common sense and better judgment. Certainly, things can happen and you end up hurt through cicumstances beyond your control, our your partners control even. I was referring more to people who would intentionally hurt you.

[mshollywod]

I agree that it's better to not have ever been in love than to love the wrong person, but damn, I think everyone is entitled to be in love at least once in their lifetime.

[Kaia]

I agree that it's better to not have ever been in love than to love the wrong person, but damn, I think everyone is entitled to be in love at least once in their lifetime.

 

Imho, I think it's better to have loved the wrong person than never ever been in love.. unless that wrong person literally makes you scarred for life physically or mentally.

[mshollywod]

I guess having the experience of a relatioinship is better than not having anything at all. Like you said as long as it wasn't harmful or serious. Because how else are you going to learn and improve if you never get a chance to get out there. Hence my problem, I don't know how to keep a guy interested. They might be in the beginning but due to lack of experience, conversation and whatever else I believe they lose interest.