How do I get past the anger...

[freeindeed]

... I seem to end up calling him or writing him because I'm just so angry sometimes and he acts so nonchalant about everything. Sometimes I just want to punch him in the face....

 

...ugh, I guess I'm just venting, but I don't know what else to do....I want this to be completely over, but something is inside me that just wants to see him suffer....Gosh, I hate him!

[darkness0204]

Yes I understand I feel the same way. My ex acts oblivious to everything around him thats going on.. I mean having to do wit me lol When it comes to him hes so highstrung off himself right now it makes me sick.

 

Sumtimes I wanna get so revengefull but i stop myself bc "the world works in mysterious ways" everything you do comes back your way. All the time and they will get theres

 

I jus wanna see him hurting and sufferin liek tha way he makes me suffer so he can feel wha im feeling. But dont call him and feed into it when u have the urge call a friend or do sumthing else to occupy ur time.

 

"like the saying goes/you reap what you sow/and wha goes around, comes back around to you five times harder/"

[DN]

Write him a letter telling him everyting you hate about him and why you hate him and how much you would like him to suffer. Hold nothing back, release all the anger onto the paper.

 

Then burn the paper.

 

Do that every time you need to - until you no longer need to.

[RayKay]

I second DN's advice.....burning it can be quite a relief in itself but I think getting those thoughts out in a safe manner is the best idea.

 

Remember, we can't really know what is going on in someones head either - nonchalant in your perspective might be covering things up in truth, or maybe he just does not associate the same feelings - that is not in your control or his. And I doubt telling him you are hurting him will have him suffering or get the result you want....so punch some pillows, write your feelings down and burn it and trust that time will heal things.

[twiggybrat]

Coming from a relationship where I too would get so angry with my boyfriend that I would resort to such extreme tactics just to get a rise out of him, I understand. However, I have learned that blaming and yelling do nothing. If anything, they hurt you more. I have learned to break the habit of being "automatic", reacting to my hurt and pain by trying to cause him hurt and pain, it get you nowhere. You can't justify the reaction but you can take steps to making yourself happy and then you won't want to hurt those around you. Do not dwell in the past, work on making yourself happy, it is the best revenge.

[freeindeed]

Eek....I should have checked the message board before I wrote him back.....I didn't burn it, I sent it. I was just so angry...I told him some very hurtful things and he responded in the same hurtful manner...and this time he TOLD me to go see someone else. Which makes me think that he has someone (why else would you tell someone that?)....

 

I'm still mad, not as upset as I was on Monday, but I have my moments where I daydream of him falling in a pothole or something.....

 

I wish I never met him...

[RayKay]

Eek....I should have checked the message board before I wrote him back.....I didn't burn it, I sent it. I was just so angry...I told him some very hurtful things and he responded in the same hurtful manner...and this time he TOLD me to go see someone else. Which makes me think that he has someone (why else would you tell someone that?)....

 

I'm still mad, not as upset as I was on Monday, but I have my moments where I daydream of him falling in a pothole or something.....

 

I wish I never met him...

 

Yikes. Yeah, never send a letter in anger or that is hurtful - not a good idea as it usually comes back at you.

 

My guess is he said that as he wants you to move on, I would not worry if he is with someone else or not, but he is trying to start fresh and right now that means he needs to distance himself from you.

 

In time the anger will subside. It's okay to feel anger - it's a natural stage in the grieving process - but don't let it pollute you, and I would advise you not to contact him again, at least not yet, unless its a short apology for the letter but its not necessary right now. Give it time and maybe later you can contact again but I would advise you wait for the anger stage to pass and for you to be well on path of healing first.

[freeindeed]

You're right, and thank you. I will be giving him his space and continuing on with my life. I already made plans for this Saturday (which I would usually keep open for him) and it's with people that I couldn't really hang out with when i was with him (because of some trust issues)...

 

I won't be writing to him again...and I'll keep you posted.

 

Thank You!!