the contradicting ex

[goddess23]

hey everyone. well as some of you know im sort of getting back with my ex--first relationsihp for both of us, 9 months, we broke up and about 6 months later this started. but at this point you could say we're like friends with benefits. except it is exclusive, theres no nothing with anybody else for both of us. even during our breakup lol but thats probably why we're sort of back. but the thing is its so confusing. k, the day after our convo about getting back in a way (we both agreed we didnt want to be in a serious relatinsihp right now) he told me he loved me but i dont think he meant it. now we've been meeting not very often like after school and what not. just once in awhile which seems a little odd. anyways i felt as if it was strange and im close to one of his friends and he told me how he likes me alot n blah blah blah but how he feels guilty, that he thinks hes using me. anyways im just like okay at least i know whats going through his head. anways we met up this wekend and tons of fun and he was soo sweet just played iwth my hair and my hands ya no nothing SEXUAL. but hes so contradicting...do you all think he really cares? that he likes me? or is he feeling guilty because hes using me becaue he doesnt really like me? any comments would be really appreciated thanx!

[Hope75]

Well, based on what you've said, although "you both agreed that you didn't want anything serious" it's pretty clear that at least you want something more serious than what you've got.

 

Why don't you talk to him about it instead of trying to guess what's on his mind? Sometimes feelings change and can progress, maybe he is having a change of heart, but the only one who can tell you if that is happening is him,

so why not ask?

[RayKay]

I never really think the friends with benefits thing is a good idea when you have had a relationship with the person before as someone usually has some more feelings at stake then the other.

 

I think you are going to have some open communication with him to figure things out - because as Hope said while you SAID you did not want anything serious, going by your post I would venture a guess you really do and were saying so to appease him/not scare him off.

 

You do have a right to have a full relationship as you desire it, and so I think you do need to find out what his feelings are and if he cannot provide you what you need reconsider your relationship with him as in the long run it may only lead to more pain and frustration. Be prepared though that he may really NOT want anything serious and that maybe he fears he is using you because in a sense he is - and then you will have some big decisions to make if that is the case. But better to know then to get hurt in the long run and drag it out in my opinion - not when there are people out there who will be willing to fully commit

[goddess23]

thanks for your replies. now the thing is i really dont want anything serious. lol, but im scared that my heart is just too out there. because i do have strong feelsing for him and his seem to change. grrr sooo confuzzling!!!