Lightjocj Posted July 14, 2017 Share Posted July 14, 2017 Well, so about a year ago my Bf and I split up, his choice. We were dating for about a year and a half. You can find details about what happened in past posts, long story short, I was 39 he was 28, no cheating or anything like that, but he's still in the party phases, and we were incompatible -his words. I found this site while searching on how to move on, yes I watched every YouTube video there was to watch on NC, getting back together, tips ,tricks, and all sorts of other advice on how to either move on or get them back. I like a lot of you after the breakup found myself crying everyday, sleeping, not eating, checking my phone, email, fb, and whatever else in hopes he would reach out. I was a wreck . I didn't want to do anything, that whole summer last year had me doing nothing but looking at my phone and posting to this site. I wondered where I'd be a year later, would the pain ever stop. And man did it hurt, sleeping was the only relief I had, untill I woke up that is ..yes I tried reaching out just to be ignored, yes I wished him a happy birthday, just to be ignored ..so here I am a year later. I still think of him everyday. But there's no more tears, and very very little pain if any , it more like an itch now and again. He did have me blocked on fb awhile back, and now I'm unblocked as of 4 months ago..hmm..no matter , I'm done driving myself crazy over it. My advice to all of you, it takes as long as it takes to move on, deal with it slowly, don't drink, or drug up in hopes to forget it. It's painful to deal with it the old fashioned way, but I can assure you, by going out with friends, working out, finding a hobby or doing whatever else you like will help, and just getting to know yourself will help you heal better in the long run. If you want to cry, cry , if you want to sleep sleep, if you do want to reach out fine, I did . ((The things you do to get somebody back are the same things you do to get over them)). A year later I'm still not dating and that's ok. But I promise the pain will stop, or at least not be as bad, the pain will push you to see yourself different , for me I made a lot of new friends , I experienced alot of new things ..all that stuff would not have happened if we stayed together. I don't hate my ex btw. We both have grown. And you will to. If your tired of the pain do something about it. You can and you will, because after awhile you become sick and tired of being sick and tired . Link to comment
Jennifer weave Posted July 14, 2017 Share Posted July 14, 2017 I had a similar situation.... he was 10 years younger.... it's so much harder when the woman is older, because the man is often in his prime, and is ready to settle down and start a family. Mine was...just not with me. This is the most painful thing I've ever endured, besides my mother's death. Even more painful than when my marriage of nine years ended. I'm not sure why, other than the fact I've never loved a man like I loved him. It's been two months, and I've cried every single day. I can't eat. I can't sleep. You know who CAN eat and sleep? My ex. Apparently, he can also have sex, Bc he moved on just about 4 weeks after our break up. I'm bitter, and I'm angry. I was broken up over a text message, even though he lives a mile away. 18 months to someone who professed his love for me, and that's what I was worth. Link to comment
Lightjocj Posted July 14, 2017 Author Share Posted July 14, 2017 I had a similar situation.... he was 10 years younger.... it's so much harder when the woman is older, because the man is often in his prime, and is ready to settle down and start a family. Mine was...just not with me. This is the most painful thing I've ever endured, besides my mother's death. Even more painful than when my marriage of nine years ended. I'm not sure why, other than the fact I've never loved a man like I loved him. It's been two months, and I've cried every single day. I can't eat. I can't sleep. You know who CAN eat and sleep? My ex. Apparently, he can also have sex, Bc he moved on just about 4 weeks after our break up. I'm bitter, and I'm angry. I was broken up over a text message, even though he lives a mile away. 18 months to someone who professed his love for me, and that's what I was worth. Yup it sucks, it hurts and will probably hurt awhile longer, it's not you though it's him. I tried unknowingly to pull my ex threw life, gave him whatever he wanted, was there for him. And no doubt you did the same. He's young, and although you may hate him I'm not sure he understands what love has the potential to be. Just like you can't understand his behavior, he may not understand yours. You really are in a better position then he is still. You can do everything he is doing times 10. You have been threw it though , your ready to settle it seems. And yano no matter how many times people gave me advice I still had to heal my own way. You can be mad at him, I was, not anymore I'm not though, you have a gift that he doesn't posses yet, and that gift is understanding love, that comes with time and age=wisdom. Maybe someday he will see what he had. Maybe not. Heal the best way you know how, and sadly the best medicine is the hardest to take,and that's time. Link to comment
Jennifer weave Posted July 14, 2017 Share Posted July 14, 2017 Yup it sucks, it hurts and will probably hurt awhile longer, it's not you though it's him. I tried unknowingly to pull my ex threw life, gave him whatever he wanted, was there for him. And no doubt you did the same. He's young, and although you may hate him I'm not sure he understands what love has the potential to be. Just like you can't understand his behavior, he may not understand yours. You really are in a better position then he is still. You can do everything he is doing times 10. You have been threw it though , your ready to settle it seems. And yano no matter how many times people gave me advice I still had to heal my own way. You can be mad at him, I was, not anymore I'm not though, you have a gift that he doesn't posses yet, and that gift is understanding love, that comes with time and age=wisdom. Maybe someday he will see what he had. Maybe not. Heal the best way you know how, and sadly the best medicine is the hardest to take,and that's time. The best advice. Thank you so much.... time is the only thing which is going to help. I'm damaged, but not broken. Link to comment
jennylove Posted July 14, 2017 Share Posted July 14, 2017 1 year of NC is most excellent!! Have you looked him up on any social media in the past year? Link to comment
lettingo2017 Posted July 16, 2017 Share Posted July 16, 2017 I had a similar situation.... he was 10 years younger.... it's so much harder when the woman is older, because the man is often in his prime, and is ready to settle down and start a family. Mine was...just not with me. This is the most painful thing I've ever endured, besides my mother's death. Even more painful than when my marriage of nine years ended. I'm not sure why, other than the fact I've never loved a man like I loved him. It's been two months, and I've cried every single day. I can't eat. I can't sleep. You know who CAN eat and sleep? My ex. Apparently, he can also have sex, Bc he moved on just about 4 weeks after our break up. I'm bitter, and I'm angry. I was broken up over a text message, even though he lives a mile away. 18 months to someone who professed his love for me, and that's what I was worth. Gosh! I'm so very sorry you went through this pain. This sounds devastating. My heart goes out to you. Link to comment
Jennifer weave Posted July 16, 2017 Share Posted July 16, 2017 Gosh! I'm so very sorry you went through this pain. This sounds devastating. My heart goes out to you. Thank you. I just keep thinking every day, it will get better. Link to comment
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