Relationship lacks commmunication...any ideas?

[JynX]

I need some advice on a situation I'm finding myself in. Here's some background info: I've been dating my boyfriend for a little bit over 9 months. We get along great, we've only had 2 fights in the whole time we've dated. He's one of the best people I know. I get along with his family and vise versa. We dont get to see each other as much as we'd like to, but it's enough.

 

Now here's my issue. My two good girlfriends have both broken up with their boyfriends because of some problems and what not. I've been listening to both of them and trying to help them get over the heart break. So in doing so, I've realized something. I have a good relationship, but there's a big part that's missing. It seems each time my boyfriend and I hang out, we always fool around. There has never been a time in our whole relationship that we've ever sat down and jsut talked. There are many times now that he has to ask me "So what do you want to talk about?" when we talk. It never used to be that way. We've never had too many serious conversations either or really talked talked in person. I mean, we talk, but it's just the usual casual things like how our day went and yada yada.

 

So now I'm left off feeling that I don't know much about him at all. I should be able to open up and just come to him with whatever's on my mind, but I sense a wall there. Right now I'm sitting here and thinking, if things continue to go how they are in our relationship, there'll always be a longing for something more, for a deeper conncetion with him. And to be honest, I dont think I can stay in this relationship long if I cant fully communicate with him and he with me. Thing is, he doesnt seem bothered by this, or atleast he hasn't said anything, so that just puts more thoughts in my head which I wont go into right now.

 

If you guys have any thoughts, ideas, anything...please share. I'm sorry for this being long, but I had to get that out. I'd really appreciate if you could tell me what I can do or say to improve our communication and relationship. Thanks!

[DN]

Has it occurred to you that your girlfriends 'communicated' with their boyfriends and are broken up and you have an easy, fun time with your boyfriend and have not?

[texan hick]

hey i may be 14 but i do understand where your coming from you may not feel you know this guy well and may feel like you cant connect in a conversation but i mean if your unhappy thats one thing but if your happy being with him thats another worrying about those conversations or wantin them wont get them just go with the flow... somtimes you can just ask him maybe how hes doing and with things other than yals relationship school maybe or see what may not being goin all to perfect with him and once you find that out just talk to him about and see why it aint all so perfect sry for all the typing may be a lil confusing if you got any questions just email me maybe i can reword it for ya

[JynX]

DN-Yes, I do realize that, but I want more than just an easy, fun time with him. I dont want our relationship to always be classifed as that. I want to be able to connect with him and not just "have fun". Maybe this is just a chick thing...to want more in a relationship. Wish I knew.

[DN]

OK, then since that is what you want then the responsibility is on you to start the process. Start a serious conversation, if he tries to shrug it off, just say that you would like him to be serious as you need his input. Make it about what you need, not about what you are demanding so he doesn't feel as if he is a bad boyfriend for not knowing what you want. That way he can feel pleasure in giving you what you want rather than being made to feel like a bad guy.

[sisterlynch]

Maybe you need to spend time with the girls for a while to appreciate your bf again. People get bored when they are not growing, try and find other activities that make you happy and create good will in your life. Don't expect the poor boy to tell you every little idea that he ever has, or then you will be forced to break up with him, or him with you!!

 

Let him have his own ideas. Maybe he isn't the one for you, maybe he is just a friend.