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Out of the blue breakup after two years.. HELP


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My boyfriend, well ex boyfriend now, were together for almost two and a half years. As well as have been friends for almost four years. After a year of doing long distance because I had been away at college, not even a week after I had gotten back home he decided to end thing's. His reasoning being he wanted me to learn how to be happy without depending on him and wanted me to learn to love life and myself again on my own. He said his initial intention was to get back together after a little bit, but he wanted to enjoy being single while he waited on me. We were each others first and I know that he has not met another girl as we have mutual friends and I asked him if he was interested in anyone else and he said no, he just doesn't want a girlfriend.

Our relationship during the two years was amazing, we loved spending all of our time together and even managed to travel to California and talked about moving in when we finish a couple years of college. So anyways back to reality, for the past few months when we were going through long distance, it was basically constant arguing because we had been so used to being together all the time that being away for so long started to cause tension. Whenever we were able to see each other though we reconnected instantly. Through the breakup I have been extremely heart broken and went a little crazy not knowing why he was doing this. We have begun talking again and he told me that he still loved me and wanted to be with me etc he just wanted time to experience being single.

Anyways, my question is...what should i do? I know I am young and so is he, but when he and I pick someone to be with we think long term. I really believe I have found the one. Should I give him time to experience life for a little bit, then work on building us back up again?

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As to your question, what other choice do you have? You have two choices actually, let him do his thing and then get back together when he finds no one better (unless he does) or you can move on and find a relationship with someone that hopefully doesn't pull this horse crap on you again.


Don't delude yourself about what he wants, how he views things or that he hasn't met someone else. It's almost funny how the jilted always feel like they know the person that dumps them so well.


I have no empathy for you because I have never had this happen. I have limited sympathy because you should have seen this coming and now you know that his first reason for the split was a lie. You want to continue with someone like that?

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Nope. You should move on a heal. You are both young. He wants to be single. Being single is more important to him then being in a relationship with you. It also sounds like the excuses he gave you "His reasoning being he wanted me to learn how to be happy without depending on him and wanted me to learn to love life and myself again on my own" are either horribly condescending or simple truth. Can you be happy alone? Do you love your life? If you were depending on him to suply all the love and happiness in your life you were doing him and yourself a great disservice. So he is either using a poor excuse (which is mean and blame-y) or he really can't deal with the amount you rely on him for happiness (which is -super- co-dependent and unhealthy)... either way... time to move on.

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