Isolation and dating

[Alyssa3]

When I'm dating a new person, I don't want anyone knows about it except two of us. I like to be alone and talk and do different stuff as a couple but I don't like the idea of socialize with friends and relatives in the first couple of months. I'm just not comfortable letting other people around me know that I'm dating someone when I don't know that person enough. I need time to get to know that person and then introduce him to my friends gradually. I know some people can't understand this, specially in the US. I have moved to US recently and I wanna know how do people interpret this kind of behavior? I know this may make them think that I'm not honest or I'm cheating but it's not true. I'm just not comfortable to show some guy whom I barely know as my date to other people. Should I stop being like this?! Or you think it can be okay?!

[Abi P]

I believe it's a kulture thing.

I my opinion that's completly fine.

I feel also the same way so don't worry just make sure the guy understands why you feel like that.

[mbee]

Nah people definitely will understand. I'm American (born and raised) but live in Australia for the moment. I have NEVER felt comfortable introducing any guy to my family until at least a year minimum. In terms of friends, that usually happened around the 2-3 month mark. I've never encountered issues from this. On the other side, I've had guys introduce me to their family and friends within a month and I felt very uncomfortable and it was a turn off. It was so uncomfortable, I remember those events quite visibly. I'm an extrovert by the way, so have no issues socializing. I just found it odd to bring other people into the equation when I'm still assessing my compatibility with a guy.

 

I think it's normal. I think many guys in the USA will understand. If the guy wants to meet your friends, just be upfront. Reassure him that you like him, but need time. If you are comfortable you can add him into social media but avoid tagging or anything that makes you uncomfortable. The right guy will understand you don't feel comfortable with him meeting your friends/family right away. I'd imagine if someone is pressuring you to do that within 2 months, then they are trying to rush things and you don't want to be with someone who doesn't respect your needs and can't meet you in the middle.

[Annia]

I think it's something that depends on the person. I'm not from the US but I think it's totally normal and fine. I'm sure most guys won't mind and if they do then it means that your dating styles aren't compatible.

[Hollyj]

I'm American. I don't see an issue with your position. Better not to generalize.

[IAmFCA]

I am like this also. I'm native US. Plenty of us are the same way as you in this regard. The US is like that - plenty of us are every kind of way. You will find your friend circle over time and discover these commonalities. Not to worry.

 

And if you end up on a date in a large setting or with friends, also know that nobody will think it odd. It's just a date. No big deal.