URGENT!- what should i tell my mom?

[caramellabacix]

whatever you do, don't yell "god mom you're so overprotective" and slam your door. that will just give her a reason to view you as an immature child instead of someone who's old enough to date. try to explain your feelings to her maturely. tell her that, after working so hard all week, you feel as if you deserve at least one night out. then let her know where you're going to go, when youre going to be there, and what time you'll be home. make the coming-home time a bit early so that she will be less nervous about letting you go. good luck!

[Guarana Galrok]

Since when has being catholic actually reduced the chances a guy will rape you?

[kskm]

A guy being the pope doesn't reduce it. Nothing reduces it.

[Poogle_Head]

I'm not saying that it lessens the chance of him doing anything like that- I just think the fact that he's very involved in our youth ministry (that's actually how we met) makes him slightly more trustworthy in my eyes.

 

 

Anyway, my plan is to tell my mom that I want to go out to lunch with a "friend." And if she says no I'll tell her the truth- I already said yes and would feel like crap if I had to switch on him. Worst case senario, I'm showing her this: (it's his xanga [online journal for those of you who don't know] post from last night)

 

"i don't think anyone could make me unhappy.... I want friday to come quicker."

 

She can't say no. It's just not an option right now.

[ksk0_0]

Alright - I've read all the posts and heres my 2 cents.

Moms are over-protective over someone like you who's only 14. Now some parents might think (most likely) 14 is a too young of an age to date, but the 14y.o. think they are ready for life and all that. It's basically a life of a teen, wouldn't you say? Instead of calling him your boyfriend right in front of your mom - I'm sure she wouldn't like to hear that, you having a boyfriend at the age of 14. Just tell her that your going to hang out with a friend at the movies and get some pizza along with it. She is your mother, you have to respect her as well - She has you until your 18 and can do basically whatever you want, but until then - your trapped.

 

So just say that your ganna go out with a friend to have fun; I know that you'll think that "no.. hes my boyfriend, I should definitely tell her that though.." but you've just gotta call him your friend in front of your mom. Yeah I know it's lying to your mom - but think about it.. how else are you going to see him? I've done this with my ex as well - and when I hooked back up with someone else (very recent) my mom weren't THAT worried at all - she trusted me. I had all this going (stuff like... soccer/school/projects/friends etc) and I still kept up, I did what I had to do and did it. So keep your grades up - help around the house (wouldn't hurt to would it? ) and just cool down.

[whyisthatlegal]

It wouldn't really be lying to your mom to tellhim he's your friends. Cause you are friends, with special privelages

[kskm]

Well today is friday- what have you decided?

[Poogle_Head]

I told my mom I was going out with a friend, but I said it so fast that she thought I said "friends". So about 30 minutes before I was supposed to meet him, she asks who I'm going with. When I say who she flips out and calls my dad. Thankfully, he doesn't in fact hate the kid, but "has nothing against Brian. He's a good kid- I know him from scouts." (really, dad? wow. didn't know that). But he asks me if I think going somewhere with brian is the same as going somewhere with a friend. I lied and said yes.

Then he told me not to pull crap like this again and to be honest next time, because they do give me a lot of privileges. So in the end it turned out all good because:

1) i don't have to lie to my parents anymore and have learned that them may in fact be cooler than i thought

2) i had a great date and apparently so did he (to quote his xanga, "today was the best day ever.")

 

Thanks for all who gave advice! The moral of this story: tell your parents the whole truth, or talk really slow.

[kskm]

Glad you had fun and learned a lesson!!

[caramellabacix]

yeah it is always better to tell the truth to your parents. if they see you're being honest with them, even if its not about something they truly want to hear, then they'll know to trust you better and will give you more priveledges. if you lie and get caught then it just makes it seem as if you were trying to hide something, even if you just thought they'd say no and that's why you lied. and sometimes your parents might surprise you and really not care about something you thought they would, and then you get to go out and have fun without all that guilt