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I'm too scared to have sex!


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Argh! My bf and i have been together for quiet a while now. My friends have had sex before and go on and on about it, so i'm happy for them. And i've asked them if it hurt, and they said it hurts alot. I am scared of pain from past experiances. Would lubrication come into it? Because i have no idea how to "lubricate" myself! i'm not the sort of person who uses vibrators or anything like that. I am just genrally scared of the pain. Please help me!

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I know 15 is young to start `doing' it! But all my friends are, and i'm not T.T I just feel left out in a way and want to do it to make myself fit in with everybody else. I would use protection if i wasn't so scared!! And, poor you person above me! Try and perswade your bf to not be afraid!

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I know 15 is young to start `doing' it! But all my friends are, and i'm not T.T I just feel left out in a way and want to do it to make myself fit in with everybody else. I would use protection if i wasn't so scared!! And, poor you person above me! Try and perswade your bf to not be afraid!

 

The worst reason to do anything (especially having sex) is to "fit in" or because "all your friends are doing it". You should do something only because you want to do it, and you are ready to do it.

 

As for sex, protection should be your number one concern.

 

As for the pain, if care is taken (slow, gentle, lots of foreplay), pain should be minimal.

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Uniquely Pink, you shouldn't want to have sex just so that you can "fit in" with your friends. If your friends are pressuring you in any way then they really aren't the sort of people that you should be hanging around with.

 

Personally, i dont think that you are mature enough yet to understand that it is a very serious subject that requires a level of responsiblity, you need to think long and hard about that before you act. If you have sex then it has to be for the right reasons, otherwise you could end up making a big mistake and regretting it.

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You shouldn't want to have sex just b/c you're friends are doing it. And 15 is quite young to be having sex already, but I'm not here to judge you. You really can't prevent it fron hurting the first time[that i know of]. But it doesn't last that long and it gets better.

 

HA! Speak for yourself Glenda. Personally my first time I just could not climax at all. It was unnatural for me but the girl I was with wasn't complaining at all.

 

Anyway back to Pink's topic...peer pressure can be a powerful influence on some people. Fitting in is not a real good reason to want to have sex. I can also attest that the first time for a girl does NOT always hurt. The main factor in the hurting is if the guy is being too impatient or too rough...you know how they get...they get all excited and can't control themselves, etc. heheh....no, it is entirely possible for it to not hurt that first time...trust me.

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May I ask how YOU can attest to the fact that it does NOT always hurt?[/u]

 

My girlfriend told me that she doesn't recall her first time (wasn't with me) being painful.

 

She attributes it to him not being all that well endowed.

 

 

If a girl's hymen is already broken (say through sports activities), and the man isn't huge, and care is taken, it can be pain free.

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Well, I for one can attest to that fact. My first time didn't hurt at all! Just make sure there's lots and lots of foreplay. Make sure your body is really into it and very much ready.

 

However, on that note, I have to agree with most of the other posters. Make sure you are with the right guy before you give up your virginity, or you will regret it forever...far more than you will regret not fitting in for a while. You are your own person, and don't feel this is something you need to do right now. You've got your whole life ahead of you. The experience may not even be a pleasurable one if it's not shared with someone you truly love.

 

Good luck =)

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Uniquely_Pink,

 

If you are as scared about this as it seems, then you aren't ready. When you do have sex for the first time, you should be ready both physically (eg. protection) and emotionally. Doing it just to fit in is the last reason you should ever have sex. I agree, 15 is too young, but that isn't the issue. The issue is are you ready? The fact that you are scared and want to do it to fit in shows that you are not. Honestly, your friends probably weren't ready when they started and are probably still not as ready as they would like to think. Your time will come and when it does you won't be having these fears or doubts. Until then, enjoy being young and don't be in such a rush to do "adult things."

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i think you should go to the movie store and rent the movies "thriteen" and "kids". watch them and think about how important youre friends are to you, your health, and your safety, none the less possibly your life. really consider if you are ready or not, do it because it feels right to you and not your friends. you can only have this memory/experience once. make it last. youre still a baby. you have a while before you have to grow up and become an adult. its a big responsiblity. dont let it fool you. life isnt what it seems.

 

but to at least be un bias to the topic. i agree lots of forplay. use a condom. the come lubed. have it be nice and slow. but most importantly have it be all about you (well at least 75% of it anyway.) good luck. use your head.

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Uniquely Pink, your 15 and your probley mature enough to realize that just because everyone else is doing it makes it okay...im not judging you though so don't worry ...My b/f wants to wait until he's married, and I havent expierenced it yet either so im a little nervous as well, but if you think your ready and you love each other go for it...just go slow the first couple times

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