vitamink96 Posted May 3, 2017 Share Posted May 3, 2017 At the age of 16, I met this guy through my cousin while I was visiting her. We stayed in contact for 4 years and we were able to see each other a few times every year. About a month ago I decided to cut all contact after I discovered that he's been in a 2 year relationship with someone.. I didn't confront him about it because I was so hurt, I just blocked him from everything. It really amazes me at how good he was at hiding the relationship from me because he never did anything to make me question him.. He treated me like I was the only girl in the world and I believed that I was. I put all of my trust in him and he played me so well, but I never realized it until now! I've been trying to let it go, but I'm truly hurt. Apart of me wants to ask him why he did this to me, but the other part is telling me to move on because its not worth it anymore.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted May 3, 2017 Share Posted May 3, 2017 Were you dating or just friends who visited each other a few times a year? You did the right thing by just cutting it off. How did you find out about his relationship? How well does your cousin know him?We stayed in contact for 4 years and we were able to see each other a few times every year. I decided to cut all contact after I discovered that he's been in a 2 year relationship with someone. He treated me like I was the only girl in the world and I believed that I was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted May 3, 2017 Share Posted May 3, 2017 Did you perhaps think that you were exclusively seeing one another but no such conversation took place between the two of you? Anyway, you'll be sad for a while but be glad you had the good sense to block and delete him. Now you can get on with your life and be open in mind and heart to find someone close enough for you to actually form a reciprocal relationship with someone close enough that you and he can nurture the relationship in real life rather then through electronic means 95% of the time. You'll be alright... just don't dwell on it and go out and have fun with your friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vitamink96 Posted May 4, 2017 Author Share Posted May 4, 2017 We're really close friends.. but as I got older I realized that I loved him and I thought he felt the same. I found out about the relationship when I was randomly searching something on Instagram and a girl popped up and I noticed he was in her profile picture. I went through her profile and saw everything. He never posted anything on his profile about her so that's why I never knew.. He graduated high school with my cousin and they were friends, but she never knew of the girl either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vitamink96 Posted May 4, 2017 Author Share Posted May 4, 2017 We're really close friends.. but as I got older I realized that I loved him and I thought he felt the same. I found out about the relationship when I was randomly searching something on Instagram and a girl popped up and I noticed he was in her profile picture. I went through her profile and saw everything. He never posted anything on his profile about her so that's why I never knew.. He graduated high school with my cousin and they were friends, but she never knew of the girl either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 We're really close friends.. but as I got older I realized that I loved him Did HE realize you loved him? and I thought he felt the same. Why did you think he felt the same? Did he tell you he loved you? Did he show you in actions that he loved you or did he just meet up with you a couple of times a year for hook ups and words without actions to back them up in between visits? I found out about the relationship when I was randomly searching something on Instagram and a girl popped up and I noticed he was in her profile picture.Did it say on her profile that she was his girlfriend? I went through her profile and saw everything. What entails "everything?" He never posted anything on his profile about her so that's why I never knew... What, according to her profile are they to one another? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 Unfortunately it sounds he also thought you were just friends but you developed a crush on him. What gave you the impression he felt the same? Did you have sex?We're really close friends.. but as I got older I realized that I loved him and I thought he felt the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vitamink96 Posted May 4, 2017 Author Share Posted May 4, 2017 We've both said I love you. I thought he felt the same way because he stayed for 4 years even though he could've walked away from it.. I really do love him and I know I always will. He became apart of my life and it's hard to let go. And I knew they were together because I read a comment on one of her pictures where he said the words "my girlfriend" so that definitely made it clear to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 We've both said I love you. I thought he felt the same way because he stayed for 4 years even though he could've walked away from it.. I really do love him and I know I always will. He became apart of my life and it's hard to let go. And I knew they were together because I read a comment on one of her pictures where he said the words "my girlfriend" so that definitely made it clear to me. So he had a girlfriend while he came a couple of times a year to visit you. Were you two sexually intimate when he visited or when you visited him? Does she know about you? Did either of you have any plans to advance the relationship or were you going to just go on like you were in this couple of times a year scenario? Can I ask you why you didn't tell him what you found before you blocked and deleted him? We give closure to ourselves and if I were you, that would have given me closure to call him out on his **** and then block and delete him before he could reply. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vitamink96 Posted May 4, 2017 Author Share Posted May 4, 2017 He never came to me. I would always go there to visit my family and it also allowed me to see him. And yes we were sexually intimate... and I've never been with anyone else so I guess that's another reason why I'm so upset. And I don't think she knows about me considering the fact that I didn't know about her existence until recently lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vitamink96 Posted May 4, 2017 Author Share Posted May 4, 2017 I don't know why I didn't confront him honestly.. I didn't think about it I just went straight ahead to blocking him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 I hope you learn something from this. He never made an effort to come and see you, He never did anything or said anything to advance the relationship. (an I love you is just words). He never introduced you to his family (or at least you haven't said he has). You should be wondering why someone is not advancing the relationship or introducing you to family after being intimate with you for any length of time and get yourself away from them if they don't want anything more then bi-yearly hookups. I'm really sorry that you have had to go through this but please learn from it. Process it all, forgive yourself for ignoring any red flags, heal and find someone close enough to nurture a solid relationship with. Feel better soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vitamink96 Posted May 4, 2017 Author Share Posted May 4, 2017 Thank you! I've definitely learned from it. I'm just ready to fully heal and put this all in the past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 You did the right thing. What would a confrontation do for you?I don't know why I didn't confront him. I just went straight ahead to blocking him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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