Broken up with ex a few weeks ago - but we still see each other

[sydfrk]

Hello, my ex broke it off with me a few weeks ago after 1 year of being together, we had all the highs and lows and our values and the foundations were spot on.

Since the broke up we have had sex many times, seen each other many times, I have usually instigated the meetings, most times he has said yes.

 

But on this Friday night just gone he finally opened up about a couple of things, he said to me "if we stayed together it would have cost me my family".

 

The major reason we broke up was because of his family - he admits they were awful and did everything they could in ending it. They are all happy. He said he has seen them in a different light now and is setting goals to get away from them and live by himself. I believe him.

 

I know he still loves me, but he wouldn't dare tell them he is seeing me, even when I meet him to do things, we meet in a car park and go from there when he sister is home as she would go beserk.

 

The question I have is that we are only friends now, I want so much more, I am on anti depressants now and counselling - I don't know if I should just let him be with his decision or keep seeing him as friends. He has no friends and I am his favourite person in the world he always tells me that.

 

In me not seeing him I think will he miss me enough to think stuff them and think about us or if I see him it may only hurt me? I am so confused as I only look forward to seeing him, but it is alot on his terms.

[Annia]

How old are you and him? Does his family disapprove you because of religion and culture? Are they the reason he has no friends?

[Billie28]

He chose his family over you and has no intention of changing that.

He is using you to in the interim to make the break up easier for him. In time he will be over it and there will be no more meets and then you will have to start the grieving process, when he has done his.

 

Do yourself a favour and stop meeting him.

[sydfrk]

Im 45 he is 27 - they were ok with it at the start, but I think it has always been a little concerning for certain people.

No culture or religion issues.

 

The reason he seems to have no friends, is that he lives with a sister, works with the family and attends so many family things, I used to with him, they have him in this bubble and he freely admits that now too.

He finds it hard to make friends.

[sydfrk]

That is what I am thinking as well, oncehe has made a friend or two he will not see me. This weekend we spent Friday night together, Saturday Morning, Saturday night and Sunday morning afternoon. We did stay, just the day time. If he didnt see me he would have been by himself. In the year I knew him, no one ever text him to go for coffee or anything, everyone that came over was my friends.

[jujusamples]

Im 45 he is 27 - they were ok with it at the start, but I think it has always been a little concerning for certain people.

No culture or religion issues.

 

The reason he seems to have no friends, is that he lives with a sister, works with the family and attends so many family things, I used to with him, they have him in this bubble and he freely admits that now too.

He finds it hard to make friends.

 

Are you serious, he's 27 and he's afraid of his family? I thought it was a religious thing, then I will understand his reasoning for breaking up with you better.

 

You need to go no contact with him. Doing this friends with benefit thing with your ex boyfriend which you are not over the relationship is as messy as this sentence. It's not even a proper sentence. Hope that makes sense to you?!

 

You can not go on like this, it will seriously damage your self esteem and self worth. If he truly cares and loves you, he would have stood up for you to his family, not break up with you. He sounds rather immature for a 27 year old.

 

Just out of curiosity, did you do something for them to disapprove of you?

[JoeyD2000]

Are you on the anti-depressants because of him & his family or some other issue?

[sydfrk]

Hello, I did nothing to the family what so ever, his sister live with us, she is an acoholic and feed his mum all this stuff about us. She was pure evil, even when my friends came over they disliked her immediately and some refused to come back. he saw it in the end, but never stood up for me.

 

One of his brother sent out a wedding invitation to everyone but not me, his other brother compared me to their first father that beat his mother.

 

Which I never hit him.

 

I stood beside him and was nice as, so loving and caring and he always says that. He is just under the family wings he has never got out of it really. He works with them, lives with them, dinnners, concerts. It seems that all the family have no friends. It's actually quite pathetic. He is very immature and thinks life is about being happy.

 

I have seen him this week Wednesday night, Friday night, Saturday morning Saturday night Sunday morning and day, a little Monday night and Tuesday afternoon. We do not have sex anymore is just friends. As I said he has zero

Friends so I would think as he loves spending time with me is company

[sydfrk]

To be honest they are due to him as it has really broken me, I have lost my job, not that I care to much as I didn't like it and I will get another one.

 

But they are due to the ups and downs and I feel a failure not being able to handle it, but it has been so hard for me