Wrong reasons to jump into a relationship

[SadSadgirl]

hi everyone!

 

to celebrate my 100th post i'm making another informative post! i'd also like to tell you a bit about myself!

i've noticed many people on here are ages 20+. people are surprised hearing i'm only a hs student, i'm turning 17 very shortly! i am a female very interested in having a position in the medical field. i have severe depression and anxiety, and everyday is a new journey for me! i write all of my posts from experience.

 

here we go, wrong reasons to jump into a relationship!

many people nowadays are always in a relationship. we never truly know someone's intentions when it comes to dating, but surely you're aware of your own intentions. here i'm listing WRONG reasons to be in a relationship with someone! not all the reasons are here, if you'd like to add something feel free!

 

#1. loneliness

okay, i dont think anybody likes being lonely. if you're lonely, get some friends. dating someone because you're lonely is very unhealthy, and that is a form of codependency, which is a big burden to relationships. when you're lonely, you usually settle and eventually become unhappy with the person you're dating, since they're not what you want at all.

 

#2. filling a void

this is soooooo unhealthy! dating for this prime reason will just give you a track record of relationships! people who date to fill a void use the infatuation stage of a relationship to feel "whole". once that infatuation is over.. strike! you're out. people who display this type of behavior as usually addicts, or people who've had a rough childhood. "she's the missing puzzle piece in my life." no bud, i think you have some problems you need to confront on your own, not with a girlfriend.

 

#3. money

committing to someone for money.. so stupid. just get a sugar daddy or I don't know, a job.

 

#4. convenience

maybe you jump into a relationship with your best friend because it's easier than meeting someone new. either way, dating for this reason a) wastes both peoples time b) ruins a friendship. wanna know what's convenient? not wasting my time.

 

#5. being with someone makes you happy

if you're dating someone who relies on you for their happiness.. please leave while you can. this is extreme codependency and is very unhealthy behavior. blah.

 

#6. peer pressure

yea, don't date someone because your friends keep telling you to. tell them to f*ck off and enjoy your single life. you just give everyone's hopes up by dating someone for your friends. who even does that? sounds like a big waste of time.

 

#7. only dating them because they like you

ive seen this way too much considering im in high school.. they don't even bat an eye at the person, once they confess their love all of a sudden they jump into a relationship?! i hate high school relationships. needless to say, liking someone only because they like you is... i dont even know. it doesn't even sound right.

 

#8. the nasty

dating just for sex. zzzzzz... just do friends with benefits.. don't gotta make it official and all of that.

 

#9. they're hot

yea she's super hot! but her personality is super not..

 

#10. ego booster

knowing someone loves you, likes you, or has a crush on you is an ego booster. dating someone just to boost your self esteem or ego is just using them.. and besides, once things get comfortable do you really think they're gonna shower you in affection 24/7?

 

#11. getting over an ex

REBOUND!! using someone else to get over your ex is unhealthy. it's okay to be a Lone Ranger and cry a lil.

 

remember guys! relationships are built on trust and respect! it also takes time to develop feelings and reach milestones.

 

thanks for reading! anymore reasons? feel free to add on!

 

SadSadgirl's 100th post!

[Wolfboy702]

So what reasons would you suggest? Without alternate options it is very difficult to put current ones down.

 

Some of what you say is good but things like 5 and 1 I don't agree with. You can have as many friends as you want and still be lonely in a relationship way, likewise I would argue being with someone because they make you happy is a perfectly good reason to be in a relationship. Perhaps some of it is down to miscommunication but I feel your list is catering to what you want/have experienced in relationships. Everyone is different and what works for you won't always work for someone else, so any kind of list is rather pointless unless catering to a specific type of person. I don't mean to bash your post but I felt it needed pointing out.

[SadSadgirl]

So what reasons would you suggest? Without alternate options it is very difficult to put current ones down.

 

Some of what you say is good but things like 5 and 1 I don't agree with. You can have as many friends as you want and still be lonely in a relationship way, likewise I would argue being with someone because they make you happy is a perfectly good reason to be in a relationship. Perhaps some of it is down to miscommunication but I feel your list is catering to what you want/have experienced in relationships. Everyone is different and what works for you won't always work for someone else, so any kind of list is rather pointless unless catering to a specific type of person. I don't mean to bash your post but I felt it needed pointing out.

 

I feel like you should date someone to SHARE your life with, not to have them build it for you. #5, depending on someone to be happy if a form of codependency (read my codependency forum if you wanna know more about that). i appreciate your opinion! you're not bashing at all and i appreciate the honesty. I just think these reasons to date are unhealthy. you shouldn't have a reason to date someone, you should date someone when your life is on track and they can add to that.

[Wolfboy702]

I feel like you should date someone to SHARE your life with, not to have them build it for you. #5, depending on someone to be happy if a form of codependency (read my codependency forum if you wanna know more about that). i appreciate your opinion! you're not bashing at all and i appreciate the honesty. I just think these reasons to date are unhealthy. you shouldn't have a reason to date someone, you should date someone when your life is on track and they can add to that.

 

Fair enough, I think we'll just have to agree to disagree on that one.

[limichelle]

You nailed it!

 

Good post! I think you need to have equal genuine interest in each other to make a relationship work. I too have seen too many people settle! Even in marriage! My grandmother married a jerk so she wouldn't be a spinster back In her time. He was an awful husband to her and awful father to my dad and his siblings.

 

I've known people who aren't excited about who they are with, they complain all the time!

 

Then there are those I think who are better off single. The ones who are very independent. I had a friend who was that way she went from guy to guy and tossed each one away like a pice of trash.

 

I also have a friend on her fifth marriage at 35!

 

Lisa