Emj2006 Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Hello guys, So quick background story I was dating this girl since November 4th and we made it an "official" relationship New Year's Day. We started off very serious talking about marriage, kids, etc. but About a month and a half after New Year's it seemed like we lost a bit of connection and as of last weekend, she said that she needed some time away as she said she needed to get her paranoia about her health in order first(she currently has a bit of a Health Paranoid Personality Disorder where her health gives her so much paranoia, along with a bit of anxiety and depression). She said of course she doesn't want to stop talking to me and that she enjoys being with me but said that she wants to take care of that first. After asking her more information, I found out the truth that she really got pushed away from me and didn't feel a "connection" as she felt like I was relying on her for my own happiness(which in a way it may have seemed that way but not always the case) and she said it was like a lot of pressure. She was frustrated with my communication as she felt it was terrible as well(which on my end I acknowledge it could've been a lot better). My question is this. Since as of this past Friday, she has since then commited to not be in a serious relationship with me any longer. My question is this. What would you guys do in my situation? Try to win her back and show her that I am strong and don't rely on her for my own happiness? Try to somehow light and spark it up somehow in hopes of getting back with her? Or should I just move on and focus on myself. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I have the strength to move on myself, however I guess I still have feelings for her and wouldn't mind having her by my side again. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Sorry to hear this. Sounds too much too soon too fast and then the infatuation wore off. Is she a hypochondriac? What is this disorder she has? Did she invent it? It also sounds like a variation of the "It's me not you" excuse and that she felt smothered. Go no contact. Trying to "win her back" is smothering and will only prove she's correct about you depending too much on her.We started off very serious talking about marriage, kids, etc. She said of course she doesn't want to stop talking to me and that she enjoys being with me but said that she wants to take care of that first. and didn't feel a "connection" as she felt like I was relying on her for my own happiness and she said it was like a lot of pressure. Link to comment
Emj2006 Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 Thank you wiseman2! While she hasn't been officially diagnosed as being a hypochondriac she definitely has the symptoms of one. Also another question: I did the "no contact" method this past weekend after we ended it and she was actually upset that I did that instead of me reaching out to her. It's like if she wanted me to prove to her that I was trying to "fight l for her. Any ideas there? Should I still go no contact or maybe have a way to not be as smothering? I'm out of ideas lol Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 She wants to friendzone you. She can't respect you or miss you if you allow her to control you with that type of nonsense.TI did the "no contact" method this past weekend after we ended it and she was actually upset that I did that instead of me reaching out to her. Link to comment
Emj2006 Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 Thanks again Wiseman2! I think for now I'm just going No Contact with her and will just focus on myself for now. I will not let her try to control me with that nonsense lol Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 To be honest it sounds like you dodged a bullet.While she hasn't been officially diagnosed as being a hypochondriac she definitely has the symptoms of one. Is this what she has: "Hypochondriasis, also known as hypochondria, health anxiety or illness anxiety disorder, refers to worry about having a serious illness. This debilitating condition is the result of an inaccurate perception of the condition of body or mind despite the absence of an actual medical condition. Hypochondriacs become unduly alarmed about any physical or psychological symptoms they detect, no matter how minor the symptom may be, and are convinced that they have, or are about to be diagnosed with, a serious illness." Link to comment
Emj2006 Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 That sounds very accurate there!! Yeah honestly I think one of the reasons that I think our relationship suffered a bit was because it seemed like everyday I always had some exhausting text message from her talking about how much she fears having HIV/AIDs, and all this other stuff and I wasn't trying as hard anymore and just seemed put off. It was exhausting but I guess I put up with it since I thought she was fun lol Link to comment
pianogurl Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 If she thinks you are depending on her for your own happiness, that could be a lot of pressure on her. Use this time away from her to do/find things that you enjoy and that make you happy. Prove to yourself that you can be happy on your own and don't "need" her to be happy. You should be with someone because you want to, not because you feel you need to in order to be happy. If she sees that you are being independent and you are happy on your own, she may realize she made a mistake. If she doesn't, your next relationship will be better because of it. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.