Intimacy Problems With My Girlfriend...

[phatgtdmb]

Hey all, I appreciate you listening to my story and hopefully can some sort of helpful advice! Let me give you the background, my girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 months; in the beginning of the relationship, we would be very intimate passionately kissing, oral sex, and having sex in general. As of about 2 months ago, everything suddenly stopped, no more sex no more anything to deal with intimacy. I figured something was definitely wrong; however, we are still dating to this day. We talked about our relationship and how in the beginning it was just an infatuation feeling and now its becoming something more sentimental than that. I agree with her completely, she is affectionate to me by grabbing my hand, kissing me (not passionately just lovingly i know this sounds weird), but other than that we haven't had sex or much less "made out" for 2 months now! IM starting to get very worried yet I care for her very very much. I talked to her about it and she claims nothing is wrong (and she doesn't act or do anything to suggest otherwise). What should I do? Wait it out? Stop pressuring into making out (we have had many fights)? Hopefully someone can help!

[melrich]

Do you try and initiate sex? If so what happens then? Does she shut you down?

[melrich]

Oops, sorry I should have read your post more carefully. That does sound like a problem. Has anything gone on in her life outside your relationship that may have caused this?

 

I guess if I was in your position I think I would have to sit down with her and say that she was oputting the relationship at risk. I mean sex is not everything but you can't just cut it out completely. I think you should make her understand that if this goes on it will put your relationship at risk and see how she responds.

 

Something is obviously going on here that is not right.

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

Maybe she just isn't interested in sex. I am not interested in sex. I could have a loving romantic relationship and never have sex. Maybe there is something wrong with. Should I be interested in sex? Well sometimes I am, but only rarely. Anyway talk to your girlfriend. Communicated. Connect with her on an emotional level!!!!!! FInd out why she is acting how she is!!!!!! But remember that sex is not everyone. YOu can love someone and not have sex with them.

[Abacab]

It's hard to imagine to have a loving relationship with little or no sex involved... Your girlfriend is indeed jeopardizing the relationship.

 

Have a good conversation with her about this problem. Should you not be able to convince her that sexual intimacy is one of the main pillars of a harmonious relation, get out as soon as you can!

 

Unconditional love (read: without sex) is mere hypocricy... Some people may have lower sex drives, but if couples cannot reach some sort of compromise on sexual intimacy, that relationship is doomed.

[phatgtdmb]

hey all, thanks so much for your responses! I have talked about it with her and told her that it makes me feel insecure that we dont connect at the intimate level anymore and that I dont need sex everyday (even once a week would be sufficient). But I always get some bs answer and she gets upset when we talk about it again and again And yes, I'm always the one who initiates it (which I hate) but always to no avail. I don't know im just so frustrated, and i agree witht he above poster that unconditional love is definitly connecting on the sexual level (although its not the main component).

[justsweetgirl]

I am going through the same thing. I have come to realize that I can either weigh all the other positives and choose to remain, or not. I can't change her. She says it isn't me, it's her stressful job and fatigue. I love her and I am trying to be patient. Time will tell. I wish you the best.

[phatgtdmb]

Its definitly hard day by day thinking about it constantly if theres something wrong me or what the deal is. My g/f says the same thing shes just really tired and stressed out about school; however, this never use to be a problem when we dated earlier. I just dont know what to do anymore except maybe completlety stop trying and maybe if she thinks im losing interest in her it will spark our relationship to the next level. I just love her too much just to let her go based on sex; but, if this is to last forever, there would be no way i could handle this...

[justsweetgirl]

Believe me, I hear ya