matilda6812 Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 Me and my boyfriend have been together for the past almost 4 years....i believe that we have the best relationship...i see him as my best friend....he is always the one who can make me laugh to the point where i cry and smile so hard that i feel my face cramping. He has been there for me through thick and thin. He is going through a lot these past few months with his disease that he was born with (cystic fibrosis) ...this is a disease that gets brutal as he gets older. On and off again he has tried to push me away... because he doesn't want me to see him die slowly as he gets older. He doesn't want me to suffer. He has also been going on and off about wanting to be single and live out his life while he is young...saying that we are only 18 and that there are so many things for us to do with our life while we are still young and that we should go and talk to other people..because life is just too short....he wants me to meet another guy who can treat me better then he has. It was very hard for him to say this because he started crying. He is very very insecure....and i believe that has to do with the fact that he has a life threatening disease and was also adopted at birth. He feels as if he doesn't deserve me, he feels that he doesn't deserve such a beautiful and precious thing in his life, he feels like he doesn't deserve my love. Just About 2 weeks ago we called to take a break in the relationship for about a month or so and then meet up somewhere...talk...and just say where we are, and what we believe is going to be right for us. This break has crushed me entirely, everyday I struggle but here and there I toughen up and find some happiness in the midst of all this mess... Tonight he texted me saying that a couple of his friends will be going to the beach for spring break, but he doesn't want to go because they will be bringing alcohol and weed...and he doesn't like being around that kind of stuff at all. But he said that he still wants to go to the beach, but he said that he wants to go with me. He said that we both might need this...to get away from stress and to just have fun. I want to go with him but i dont think my parents will let me....but i was also thinking of another idea. What if i say to my parents that i am spending the night at a friends house ..and then i go spend the day with him doing a bunch of fun things and then spend the night in a hotel with him....i dont want to have sex with him and im sure that he doesn't want to have sex with me....we have learned from our mistake. Im just wondering if doing this would be wrong for us...i feel like this would be like our last goodbye....holding each other one more time before we leave each others lives forever or just for a short while until we get our lives together. So i just need some answers and advice really .... Link to comment
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