Accommodating men + women = ...Nothing?

[CG]

I think this formula is very much true, women cannot stand

accommodating men in the very first stages of dating.

For example: if he eagerly agrees to see the movie she wants,

if he eagerly agrees to change, i.e accommodate his schedule to please her etc.

 

Women, why do you dislike accomodating men (in the beginning of dating)? It seems to me that it is a good feature, he want to be please you, but it evokes some totally different women's reaction...rejection.

Why is that?

[Ydas]

women want a man to come in and slap them around and tell them where they're going!

[stargazer25]

I wouldn't have a problem with it. HOWEVER, I have been called "accomidating"...not quite to the extent that you site....and they run for the hills. Guess we all want people to be somewhat of a challange.

[DN]

I think this formula is very much true, women cannot stand

accommodating men in the very first stages of dating.

For example: if he eagerly agrees to see the movie she wants,

if he eagerly agrees to change, i.e accommodate his schedule to please her etc.

 

Women, why do you dislike accomodating men (in the beginning of dating)? It seems to me that it is a good feature, he want to be please you, but it evokes some totally different women's reaction...rejection.

Why is that?

 

I think it is not wise to categorise a whole gender into any specific form of behaviour. The theory breaks down in practice, because we are all individuals with different background, upbringing, wants, desires and motivations.

[caramellabacix]

women want a man to come in and slap them around and tell them where they're going!

 

lmao for some reason i found that so funny.

 

i've never had a problem with "accommodating" a guy so i'm not really sure how to answer this. if you mean girls are indecisive, well we just are i guess lol.

[SparklingKaren]

its because women have an evolutionary instinct to be attracted to the men who can take care of them and their children. Instinctively, they are drawn toward men who take charge of situations.

 

Also, it may appear desperate if he's too willing to please. Its good to be polite, nice and not be a jerk, but if you appear to cater to her every whim, it could seem just a bit desperate.

[sisterlynch]

Maybe you are expecting too much. Dating is supposed to be fun, spontaneous, enjoyable, exciting. That is what women really go for, is romance.

 

In my Gender differences class a few years ago, a guy was telling us how he was taught to talk to women about buying a car, they were supposed to put on a false idea about what the car will do to them, how they will love cleaning it and making it feel special in their garage, of course I am paraphrasing what he said...

 

The point is that if this happens to you constantly, then you can't really ask all women to accommodate their ideas and behavior to you.

 

I think that you are confusing your terms...assimilation is what occurs in the beginning of a relationship, you need to move in on women slowly, so slowly that they don't realize that you are moving in....figuratively so to speak.

 

accommodation is after the relationship is going to a while, then you can ask them to pick up your laundry or your child at day care...not in the very beginning, mon dieu, man!

[CG]

women want a man to come in and slap them around and tell them where they're going!

 

It seems you are right. But why it is attractive being unaccomodating for women(at first)? I would not like if she is unaccomodating for example.

But I am a guy.

[CG]

I think it is not wise to categorise a whole gender into any specific form of behaviour. The theory breaks down in practice

 

Ok, I'll try to be more specific: relatively young women in the initial stage of dating are usually dislike accomodating men. Later on in a relationshiop it is usuallu gone or almost gone.

[CG]

it may appear desperate if he's too willing to please. Its good to be polite, nice and not be a jerk, but if you appear to cater to her every whim, it could seem just a bit desperate.

 

I guess you are right, at least I feel so.

I conclude men should be good "players" in terms of dating: they should not show any kind of "being too nice" or show any kind of despearation.

Thanks for the answer, you are good!

[CG]

In my Gender differences class a few years ago, a guy was telling us how he was taught to talk to women about buying a car, they were supposed to put on a false idea about what the car will do to them, how they will love cleaning it and making it feel special in their garage, of course I am paraphrasing what he said...

 

I find it fascinating that there is Gender differences class! What did you cover there?

But I am not getting your point.. why women do not like accommodating men especially in the beginning - what's your take on that?

[ShySoul]

It's only bad if you seem like you don't have any opinions of your own. When you present yourself as someone who doesn't stand up for yourself then it appears as if you don't have confidence. You need to be accomadating but with confidence. Really, being accomadating is the right thing to do and the girl should appreciate it. If not, it is her problem, not yours. I think that if you are noticing this in young women, it is because they don't have a good grasp on what they want in a relationship yet. They are still caught up in the mentality that it needs to be about chasing someone and playing games. Eventually they will wise up and go for the accomodating guy.

[sisterlynch]

Of course I am generalizing, but I think that you are asking too much of these women too quickly.

 

WE all fantacize about the perfect spouse or boy friend, but then the reality isn't living up to the fantacy, we feel disappointed.

 

A woman can't make you feel whole, if you aren't already pretty well off to begin with. You may project onto these women what you think you want them to say and feel, but when they can't do what you want, without asking, you are dissappointed and say that they are not accomodating to you.

 

Did you read the quote about someone who was defining the different types of "men" that they are encountering. The ideal guy to them is married!! Try and live up to that as a single guy!! Go on try it!!

 

I am kidding you!!

 

There is no real right or wrong answer. Try and find a nice simple wholesome girl. That is what you want -- isnt it?

[CG]

Of course I am generalizing, but I think that you are asking too much of these women too quickly.

 

You may project onto these women what you think you want them to say and feel, but when they can't do what you want, without asking, you are dissappointed and say that they are not accomodating to you.

 

It is not about how they are accomodating to me. It is why women do not like accomodating men? I am still a bit confused about what you are saying.

[CG]

When you present yourself as someone who doesn't stand up for yourself then it appears as if you don't have confidence. You need to be accomadating but with confidence.

 

Unfortunately those are two mutually exclusive things:

if you are accomodating to women, you are out, no matter how confident you are. They pick up the level of your confidence by the level of how much you are accomodating.

[ShySoul]

They are not mutually exclusive. One can be accomodating yet not overly accomodating. When you drop everything for her no matter what, that is being overly accomodating and shows that you are dependent. It comes off as not confident in yourself. But when hold your ground at times for something that is very important to you, that shows confidence. You can still be accomodating in most circumstances, just not so much that your making her your life and bending backwards to do what she says.

[sisterlynch]

Of course I am generalizing, but I think that you are asking too much of these women too quickly.

 

You may project onto these women what you think you want them to say and feel, but when they can't do what you want, without asking, you are dissappointed and say that they are not accomodating to you.

 

It is not about how they are accomodating to me. It is why women do not like accomodating men? I am still a bit confused about what you are saying.

 

Define accomodating. Most women accommodate much more in a relationship than men do, that is my opinion.

 

Maybe the women that you are meeting want to date one time only and that is all. Is that possible?

 

Maybe they want to appear like they have much better things to do than to wait by the phone. I don't really know what you are asking either without an example...could you come accross with an example of how women are not being accomodating?

Please?