Sex after breakup

[Irishmanco]

I don't know if it will happen but we were together for over 2 years. She broke up with me cause she wants to be alone for about a year. I Love her and don't want to lose her but this is what she has to do. Wants to experience life and not be with anyone.

 

Now we are "friends" and I'm wondering how people feel about having sex with the ex. Hopefully one day we'll get back together but maybe not. We're still attracted to each other.

Thanks for the replies.

[Mentor]

Very, very bad idea, especially since you are still in love with her. You will only torture yourself. Cut her off and make it clear to her that you are a package deal. She can't pick and choose what she wants from you depending on her whim. It is all of you or nothing. Anything else damages your esteem, both in her eyes and worse in your own. You are basically admitting that you don't deserve 100% from someone, but you do.

 

Good luck!

[RayKay]

I don't know if it will happen but we were together for over 2 years. She broke up with me cause she wants to be alone for about a year. I Love her and don't want to lose her but this is what she has to do. Wants to experience life and not be with anyone.

 

Now we are "friends" and I'm wondering how people feel about having sex with the ex. Hopefully one day we'll get back together but maybe not. We're still attracted to each other.

Thanks for the replies.

 

Your post tells me exactly why you should NOT do it. You still have feelings for her and having sex with her I guarantee will prevent your healing process and give you painful hope. What happens in the future will happen, but in the meantime you need to heal and treat it as a permanent breakup.

 

My past ex too broke up to be "alone for a year". Yup...not going to happen. I moved on, fell in love with someone else who knows how great I am and gives me all I deserve and I do in return and we now live together. He is all I want. My ex is a bit of a gigolo right now..but thats another story and we are friends still, but the romantic side is over.

 

It is best for BOTH of you to not hop into bed with one another...I know you want to right now to hold on, to feel better, to have her close, to try and win her back even out of fear of losing her...but trust me, it will be too painful in the long run.

 

You deserve someone who can be completely with you, and you are safe enough to be completely there for. So take care of yourself, protect your heart right now and start the process of healing. Time will truly heal..just trust in it.

[Meow18]

I agree with the others. I think it's a bad idea. You still have feelings for her, but she wants a break, but will just use you for sex now because she knows you will give it to her. In my opinion, she would only be taking advantage of you. It doesn't matter if she is still attracted to you. The fact is, she broke up with you because she wanted time. Why should she be able to still get sex from you?

 

Of course, what you choose is your choice, but keep in mind that its only going to make you feel worse. I think you need to work on getting over her.

[Day_Walker]

You will put yourself in a better position if you dont have sex with her after the break up. You still have feelings for her and if you continue to have sex with her its going to start beleiiving that you have the same kind of relationship you did before when in fact it has changed. This is where you need to show strength and realize that having sex with her is a bad idea.

[lookingforclosure5]

I agree with the rest. But I also know that you will do what you want, regardless of what people here tell you to do, regardless of the fact that you know it isn't a good idea. Just know that you will be prolonging the healing. It will hurt you... you think that it won't but it will. Everytime you leave her house, or she leaves yours after you have been intimate it will hurt. Be aware that these are the consequences you are facing.

 

Be careful with your heart.

[lady00]

Don't do it! You will only get your feelings hurt. In my opinion, her excuse of wanting to "be alone for about a year" is lame and not very believable. She was probably trying to spare your feelings by telling you that instead of telling you that she didn't want to be with you. I don't think sleeping with her will do either of you any good...if anything it will make you miss and want her even more and she's unlikely to return to you and she will probably take you for granted.

[brokenpogostick]

I had sex with my ex and it's only cause me more heartache and trouble. don't do it.