New GF has car stolen outside my house

[Howitt]

I've been seeing someone for about two months and on Saturday we took a short trip to London on the train for the day. It was nice and we didn't get back till late, and she left her car on my street all day. When I walked her back to her car it was gone, someone has stolen it basically. Just half an hour beforehand we had agreed to start calling ourselves a couple but obviously this has upset her massively. I am trying to be supportive and kind but it's hard to know what to say to her? She's beating herself up about it really badly because she doesn't like the area where I live, and thinks she should never have left her car near my place. I understand that she's going to be going through all sorts of extreme emotions-and she says I just need to be there, but what does that mean I have to say and do? i feel guilty that I'm not more upset for her as well but I have aspergers and it's hard to know what to say

[Wiseman2]

Wow sorry to hear that. Try to just listen compassionately without accepting blame for your area or trying to defend anything. She's just upset and needs to talk. Just be there, be helpful if she needs anything, etc.

When I walked her back to her car it was gone, someone has stolen it basically.She's beating herself up about it really badly because she doesn't like the area where I live, and thinks she should never have left her car near my place.

[Howitt]

Thanks, I have been doing just what you've suggested so far, I guess it's up to her to sort her head out in the long term? I can be there but that's all I can do.

[zeino]

Maybe you can help her with the practical side of things like insurance matters, police station visits etc? If you ask neighbours if they saw anything etc, that would count as help, too. You don't have to take blame for the area where you live and you are also entitled to like it no matter what happens - although it may not be a good idea to voice this right now ;-) If pampering relaxes her, maybe you could prepare a meal for you two etc. I would try to offer general morale support instead of focusing just on the car. There isn't much you can do about that I reckon.

[melancholy123]

I assume she called the police. If not, she should. Hopefully she gets the car back undamaged. Just be nice to her as she's justifiably upset.

[Howitt]

It seems that all communication has broken down as she gets more upset and the reality sinks in. The car had all her work stuff in and now she's really stressed, I haven't heard from her but I'm also not the type to keep texting when someone is unresponsive