galaxyeater Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 Three year girlfriend and I broke up two and a half months ago and for good reasons. We argued often and honestly became different people toward each other. I don't know why reminding myself of these times have not been helping, but it isn't. I haven't been able to maintain No Contact the last two months for we had a number of photo gigs contracted to shoot and a storage unit to empty. I just signed the house we were saving for in another state and she has a new boyfriend who she admits she is falling in love with because he can provide the love and affection I was unable to allow myself to express. Today was the last day of obligated meetings and we said goodbye. It was so damn difficult for me. The last thing she said was, "don't hold yourself back from loving someone else; get married and have kids and show me how big of a mistake I'm making" (by letting me go) and I responded with, "That's exactly what's going to happen.." and left. I love her with everything I have in me, and although I know we had an unhealthy relationship I believe I now possess the spiritual and emotional awareness to make the proper adjustments. She says she no longer loves me though. I just don't understand how this is possible? I haven't felt this attached to someone since I was 17, almost half my life ago. I am rather guarded and keep myself emotionally safe. I haven't been in a relationship in many years so I hardly remember, but, this is normal right? this feeling I'm feeling? this is how everyone feels after a long drawn out break up? any words of wisdom would be grateful... Link to comment
kbbcoop77 Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 You feel unsure about what? Link to comment
gebaird Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 I am rather guarded and keep myself emotionally safe. This is a serious problem in a committed relationship. We think our walls protect us, but they block the good along with the bad. Breakups are always hell. The longer and more drawn out it is, the worse it feels. It's like getting shot in the chest every day. No contact will help you heal, but it's going to take time. Eventually, when you've made it through the worst of the withdrawals, you'll turn a corner and begin to recover. Link to comment
galaxyeater Posted October 24, 2016 Author Share Posted October 24, 2016 how to feel, I just feel uncomfortably empty as all this time I thought we had our lives mapped out and now I am leading it without her. Just overwhelmingly sad knowing how close we were to becoming married..I truly don't want to love anyone else at the moment. I'm so emotionally attached to her I just feel lost and hard pressed to believe that I will feel this way for someone new any time soon. I know I sound like a child, but I am just expressing how I feel.. Link to comment
kbbcoop77 Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 No you're not supposed to feel for someone else anytime soon, believe it or not that's a good thing, means you have soul and empathy and not some narcissistic turd that swings from one relationship to the next. Just go through the healing, stay no contact now that all the required gigs are finished. In time you'll detach from her and someone else will catch your eye. No rush. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 Ironically that is precisely how you get hurt, for example this girl leaving for someone else claiming "he can provide the love and affection I was unable to allow myself to express". I am rather guarded and keep myself emotionally safe. Link to comment
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