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I really need someone to help me out here. I am constantly depressed about my recent breakup. I have tried going out with my friends and tried to have a good time, but I can't. All I think about is her. My stomach constantly hurts and I have had a bad headache. I have been so depressed, I cannot even eat. I've lost almost ten pounds since the breakup. I cannot see myself getting through this. I need somebody to hold me and cuddle with. I wish I could just find someone special, but no one will ever come close to my ex-girlfriend. I don't know what to do now. I cannot talk to anybody and I just wish I had somebody to comfort me. What can I do to get over this? Should I find someone else? If so, how do I go about finding someone? I have never had a serious relationship before my last one. Dah...I need help...Please!



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wow, altho im at the point that i cant hurt anylonger, or ever shed a tear for another man...i feel ur pain. When i found myself diggin sumone in the past, every emotion that you've shared in ur post, is something that I myself was going thru..exactly as you put it, also.


Right now, I have somehow developed a calloused and invisible "film" or that blocks me from emitting and receiving love waves to and from anyone as far as a developing relationship is concerned. Ive tried to allow myself to love after being neglected or not appreciated, only to be not appreciated or loved again. After opening myself up to even feeling that way, i havent considered going back to ever wanting to be in love again...at least not right now.


Nobody will ever compare to her in ur eyes for a many nights, months or even years to come,...only until you are ready to let go, and onlly your heart can make that happen, not before. Theres nothing that anyone can tell you to convince you otherwise, that you would willingly use as a tool or crutch for now. YOur healing comes from within, and af ter many nights of crying, wishing her back into ur life, as wel as holding on to a smidge of faith that it may even work out, when its evident that the love is long gone...


time will be on your side in the long run...and it helps talking to sumone about lifes inconsistencies in relationships, and the unfairness of the pains we endure...but., just keep ur head up, the pain will eventually subside to a bearable minimal. Just remember that you are not alone.



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tell me about it...


i think that alot of us girls, wished for a guy who loves us this much...but ive never met one,...just read messages on this message board from guys that have been hurt by some unapreciative chiks...


that the worst thing i can think about in life that sux...



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I also just got out of my first serious relationship too. This girl was my first everything. I fell in love hard. The only problem is that she found after 2 years that she still had feelings for her ex, who cheated on her the first time around. So I was pushed aside for him, and tried to remain friends with her, but that just hurt more because I found out intimate details about their relationship. So now I don't talk to her anymore. As much as it hurts, it's the best thing to do. But I know what you mean, I find myself going out and having fun, meeting people and still thinking about her. It's weird but it is diminishing over time. Time is the key. Just think about it, why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you at the moment? You deserve better, there is someone out there who WILL want to be with you. That keeps me going daily, also knowing that everything happens for a reason. Just stay busy, in time you will start to notice that you haven't thought about your ex every minute of the day, and other POSITIVE things will start to occupy your mind, like improving yourself, exercising, etc.... It will be easier, just give it time.



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I know EXACTLY (and when I use the term "exactly," I REALLY mean it) how you feel. It's been almost a month since Carissa broke up with me, and I'm still feeling very depressed. I, too, have lost weight. I really wish I could give you advice, but if I could, it would be advice for myself, as well. Just know that you aren't the only one who hurts that much. I'm sorry to hear about your break-up. If you ever need to talk to someone and say how you feel, you can talk to me. Perhaps we can help each other.

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Dude I need more information then you giving....such as how long you dated, what were the circumstances of the break up, etc. The thing is you broke up for a reason - whatever that was.... However you really have to analyze why you broke up and why you think you should get back together. Don't say it....write it down on a piece of paper...just write everything you think and feel. It is my belief that you will say everything that is in your heart, including many some areas that you have thought about that show you and you ex were not right for each other...then again I may be wrong. I just broke up with my GF for the 2nd time about 2 weeks ago. We dated for 4/5 years! It was the happiest time of my life but there were also times were I knew we weren't meant to be. For instance she had very different political and religious views. After a while I got tired of arguing with her that I stopped talking about those issues all together which I don't think you should do if it's important to you - and social justice and political views are to me. The thing is, she was everything.....but I wasn't ready to give her the ring which says it all. There were always some things I couldn't get over or thought would cause division between us if we were to get married.. I don't know if this has helped you....I think it helps me a bit to analyze things again because the worst thing for us as men is the fear that we won't find someone and be alone for the rest of our lives. I am 28 and I must be honest when I say that I am scared of the future: will I find a career that will pay me enough to raise a family and live a comfortable life without fear of getting laid off, will I find someone to love and have a family with and will this person contain all the things I loved in my ex without the things I didn't?? I don't know if I have helped you my friend....if anything, like the e-mail before mine, it shows you that you are not the only one in pain or expeirencing confusion. But we have to hold our heads up high!! As Helen Keller said:


"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our face toward change and behave like free spirits in the presense of fate is strength undefeatable."


May you find peace in your mind and heart today,



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  • 2 weeks later...

Yeah what Eclipse you said I exactly know what you been through my girl broke up with me and I didn't eat for like a week and did not say word for more than one week to anybody. She broke up with me in Feb and now its June and I still think about her every second of the day. Unfortunately that how it is when a girl you love so much you breaks up with you. Especially in my case when the girl breaks up with you because I said I love her in one month and she was not ready to be in love with me. So if you ever need to talk I'm here to maybe you, me and Eclipse and all talk in aol private chat together to help each other out because it rough when you have to alone. Private message if you want or im me I'm always here summer break for a college student.

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I like that post by kinatra. It's true I think about having to look at what role you played in the breakup and that if you look hard enough and allow yourself to admit it you'll probably see where you were not right for each other.


If I had read that earlier I couldn't have even entertained the idea of it but maybe now I can (though I still don't really want to). My ex called today to chat (or for whatever reasons) and I did and then he said abruptly he had to get off the phone and that was it. I felt so used, and so so stupid for having talked to him about things I was doing.


But what the heck, his lack of consideration is one of the reasons we just weren't right for each other if I really want to admit it. He may be doing it innocently (one of my say-it-to-you-drop ridiculous excuses for him) but innocent or not, the end result is the same, someone would be likely to get hurt.


Anyhow, I'm getting off the subject (you) there. Look at the facts sometime when you're able. If you were meant to be together you would be. Don't be a hopeless romantic. That's living in a fantasy world. Remember, Romeo and Juliet may be a great story but, don't forget, they're both dead!


By the way, kinatra, I loved that Helen Keller quote. Thanks for sharing that.

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