koolaidnovel Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 I'm beginning to wonder if there is something wrong with me. I'm a 17 year old girl, consider myself attractive, (I've been told this several times), am not really that shy, (once I get to know someone, I'm extremely talkative and outgoing)...YET, I have only been asked out once, have never had a boyfriend, and have not even had any obvious signals of someone being interested in me. Yes, there have been instances where I thought I was being hit on, or flirted with, or whatever else, but I wasn't even sure then. I hate to say this, since it's so much repeated and kind of selfish, but it makes me frustrated and jealous of other couples. My younger sister has had sooo many chances for relationships (she's a heartbreaker...lol) and I'm happy for her, but admit to being somewhat jealous. I know I'm ready for a relationship. It could be difficult since I'm not really friends with any more than 3 guys, but if I don't approach someone, and they are interested in me, wouldn't an outgoing person try to approach me? I *think* I'm approachable. I hope so. Even those guys I've become friends with have acted like they don't like me in that way and I wonder why. I suppose this entry is a question to specifically the guys out there. So, my questions are, what do you think could be wrong with me? ...what makes a girl seem approachable?....what makes a girl annoying or unapproachable?....and....what do you think about shy girls? Thanks guys! Link to comment
randy Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 Well I personally find shy girls a turn on. Makes her look cute IMO... Just wondering, do you go out often and meet people? I think that has a lot to do with it. Also some guys would have a hard time approaching gorgeous girls. Maybe you should try approaching the guys instead and see where it goes from there? Link to comment
Oliveeyes Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 I agree with Randy, you need to make the iniative to approach guys. I consider myself a pretty girl, not model material I think but guys are definitely intimidated by us. Especially if you have a certain confidence about you and you are pretty. I have noticed when I go out all dressed up and lookin good that a lot of guys won't approach me, if I go out really casual they seem to approach me more. There is nothing wrong with you just try to talk to the guy first, it is hard sometimes but most guys love that kind of stuff. Try that and see how it works for you. Good Luck sweetie Link to comment
mataney Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 guys like to have fun. let the fun side of you come out. guys will notice. you will have to beat them off with a stick. Link to comment
MetallicAguy Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 What's annoying is when a girl is ditsy. Well that's what I think. If you want to make yourself approachable for a guy just have all open gestures of body language, and don't give any of the guys any pressure. Hope it helps. **What always attracts me to women and probably other guys (I'm shy so when women do this it saves us the time to not figure out what your like and you can basically express what your like in class) but in school if you talk (like if it's a fun class not boring where you can talk and ****) you could express yourself and act like yourself so everyone in the room knows what your like. It can help get some attention from shy guys, and basically any guys really. Hope that helps. Link to comment
koolaidnovel Posted March 17, 2005 Author Share Posted March 17, 2005 Well I personally find shy girls a turn on. Makes her look cute IMO... Just wondering, do you go out often and meet people? I think that has a lot to do with it. Also some guys would have a hard time approaching gorgeous girls. Maybe you should try approaching the guys instead and see where it goes from there? Thanks for the advice...and no, I usually don't go out to meet other people, and I agree that that has something to do with it. And MetallicaGuy, I totally agree with what you say about being outgoing in class. Omigosh, you don't know how many times I've beaten myself up for being too quiet...for not going that extra mile to raise my hand and say something to express myself...but I guess I really have to improve on that. I mean, in small groups, I'll be in your face and totally talkative, but in front of a large group (example: a class of like 15 other people) ...I'll freeze up. Oh and Oliveeyes, thanks for the reply. It made me feel good! Link to comment
MetallicAguy Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 yeah, you might wanna fix those times and not beat yourself up again right? Yeah of course lol. Well, if your interested in a guy and think he's shy TRY IT. Shy guys are not willing to express their body language all the time or at all. So the only way to make him open up to you is to get him to know more about you. So the only way to do that is to be outgoing in class. Hope it helps . Link to comment
Stinkweed Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 Yeah, I find shy girls a turn on too... Unfortunately, there aren't that many shy girls in my school. And all the shy girls I've met aren't very... uh, normal... And they just aren't my type either... But I don't think there's anything wrong with a girls who's sort of outgoing... I mean, the last girl I tried to "hit on" is like that... unfortunately, she doesn't seem to be interested in the least... I guess I'll have to keep looking... Good luck and best wishes. Link to comment
Esh Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 yeah some guys are intimidated by a hott girl and have u ever thought maybe you cant read guys signals to well? i mean just a thought and also you should try to approach more guys, a guy really likes it when a girl approaches them and stuff and is more "outgoing" and all that stuff kk later and it makes it alot easier and and takes alot of stress off the guy when the girl is really flirtacious and aggressive aight hope i helped holla bak at the godfather Link to comment
Ydas Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 post your picture and i'll tell you if its your looks or attitude!!! Link to comment
koolaidnovel Posted March 18, 2005 Author Share Posted March 18, 2005 lol...okay, for you to judge. maybe my looks are my problem. if anyone cares to speculate, you can find my profile at link removed ...the first pic, I'm in the middle. And there are more pics in my photo album (you just click 'photo album'.)[/img] Link to comment
Stinkweed Posted March 20, 2005 Share Posted March 20, 2005 Well, I think it's definitively not your looks... The problem, I mean. I think you're good looking. Maybe you could try approaching the guys first like some ppl here said before, just to see how it goes. And well, I think I changed my mind. I don't like shy girls that much either... I think I prefer outgoing girls, but they never are interested in me, so I'm kinda trapped... I mean, at least outgoing girls act less weird and, well, if they have to say something, even if it is something anybody's gotta say out of decency, then they just say it, unlike shy girls. You know what I mean? They talk back when you talk to them, even when they're not interested (well, at least in my case)... I mean, at least they are polite. Link to comment
koolaidnovel Posted March 21, 2005 Author Share Posted March 21, 2005 Thanks, Dead Eyes. And yeah, I know what you're saying about outgoing girls. Sometimes being too shy can come off as being rude. I hope I've never come off in that way. Haha. I just got back from seeing my half brother and he's like, "Why don't you have a date to prom?!" And I'm like, "I dunno..." When really, I do. It's because I'm wayyy too shy. I can't go up to someone flat out. I have to know them pretty well in the first place...and that's one of the problems. I don't know too many guys. Agh..can't wait till college when everything will be different!! It will be like having a clean slate (hopefully). Man, I hate having self-esteem problems. I mean, I center too many things around looks instead of personality. I've gotten to this place where it doesn't matter how many people tell me that I look good...I still obsess over my looks. And I KNOW this is crazy and illogical, but I'm not happy if I feel I have sub-par attractiveness. Does anyone know what I mean? I know, it probably sounds really really stupid. But it's just the way I feel sometimes. Link to comment
MetallicAguy Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Well, some guys really get turned on by hair. So, instead of leaving in frizzy and putting it in a ponytail, straighten it like there's some Japanese method that makes your hair really shiny and really straight. Link to comment
Ydas Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Ok well the looks are definitly not the problem. All 3 girls in that picture look displayable(you know you don't like to be seen with everyone n stuff) Although you do look a little older than 17 ... i dunno maybe because it's high school that effects stuff. I remember when i was 17 i went for the "young" looking girls even though they were all the same age... i guess if you "look" even a few years older than a guy he might not go for you. Just remember high school guys are not like the 30 year old guys that play high schoolers in movies, they're a lot less smooth and a lot more shy!! Once you get to college the guys will be more outgoing and you won't have to try very hard but for now it might be the guys who are too shy since it is their job to chase YOU. Link to comment
koolaidnovel Posted March 21, 2005 Author Share Posted March 21, 2005 Ydas, that is so ironic that you said that, because all my life I've heard that I look WAYYY much younger than my real age!! Strangers have guessed that I'm 13...huh. That's really odd. Link to comment
Stinkweed Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 well, it must be the same with guys... And I dunno if she looks older than 17... It pretty much depends with the person. I mean, in my old school all the "kids" looked a lot older than in my current school.... They looked more like the people in the movies, lol, age-wise, I mean. And I myself have been told more than a couple of times that I look older than what I actually am... Maybe girls care about that too? I dunno, but I think koolaidnovel doesn't look old... I have a friend who is only 15 and looks like she's in her mid 20s, lol, and she doesn't seem to have problems with that. And by the way, I don't think all shy girls have to act in a rude manner... only some do. Others act... well, they just act shy, which is fine by me. They may not be the best at talking but they still try to act nice. Link to comment
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