He broke it off, now is reconnecting

[MStowe]

Hi all,

 

Thanks for taking the time to read this post, I'll keep it short and sweet. I was in a 7 month relationship (both men if that matters) and my now ex broke it off with me, stating he just didnt feel it as much anymore. I respected this wish and have spent the past give or six weeks rebuilding myself / no contact which has been desperately hard.

 

I took some time overseas to clear my head and once returning ran into him pretty much straight away at the gym.

 

That night and the following night I got stuck in a 45 min conversation with him and now he's texting me on and off again.

 

I know no contact is best in these circumstances however this is a really upsetting and confusing situation. I went no contact for about five weeks which was hard, but this weird level of contact is even worse.

 

Thanks in advance.

[Andrina]

You have to do what's best for yourself. You weren't important enough for him to stick around for, so why do you want to continue friendly banter? You're giving your precious time to someone who's just not that into you. Tell him whatever you want to, to end the communication, whether it be that you can't have closure with continued communication, or whatnot. If you can't change gyms, from now on, be polite but cut conversations short and say you need to work out or you're done and have things to do. Take care.

[Ms Darcy]

I don't think you got stuck in a 45 minute conversation with him. I think you just didn't assert yourself and cut him off. Well, assert yourself and cut him off. Block his number and switch gyms. He was pretty blah about you ... don't torture yourself.

[MStowe]

That makes so much sense. Thanks both for responding I do appreciate. I guess the challenge is to not play the game as he's being very seductive. However have to remind myself it means nothing unless he wants to have a serious chat about us.

[Andrina]

It sounds like you'd take him back if he asked. Past behavior predicts future behavior. He might like the high of a new relationship and when the high wears off, he doesn't want to evolve into the next stage and breaks it off. With time apart, you're new again. He'll chew you up like gum and when the taste wears off, spit you out again. Don't let him. You're calling the shots now.

[MStowe]

You're so right Andrina, I'm certainly in that space. I'm trying really hard to be strong / avoid and cut contact when it comes up however its very tricky. He's young too so think you are onto something when you mention being new again. It does feel nice to have some power back though and think I just need to remember why we broke up.