Update: She asked me to come over

[Why9]

So as I had posted my ex had ended things a little over a week ago and we spoke the first few days then I decided to go no contact with her. Then out of the blue yesterday she texted me to catch up and see how I was doing then out of no where she asked if I wanted to come over. September would have been 3 years we had been together and prior the the split we lived together so I ended up go back to our apartment to visit her. At first it was a little awkward but I just kept things light and was just being a goof ball I didn't mention anything about the break up all I talked about was how she was and what we both had been up to. During the split I occupied my time by working out at the gym talking to you guys here and reflected on the mistakes I had made and how to improve myself. So she say wow you look good and she say that it seems like the break up isn't effecting me and she says if she could be honest and tells me how much she miss's us so I let her bring up the break up then I calmly explained how I felt and told her it is what it is and I'm trying to move on and she responds by saying I don't want you to move on I want us to be together. Now at this point I'm trying not to seem so eager and excited and calmly explain how she hurt me and that she and I would have to work on gaining each other's trust and rebuild from a new foundation so this is where we are at I want to thank everyone her for the support in my time of need I will keep you guys posted on how things unfold.

[lostandhurt]

That is good news.

 

Be sure to tell her that this is a clean slate and you have no intention of holding the past against her. Moving forward is good as long as you don't stop growing and learning so the same mistakes don't creep back in. That is what usually dooms reconciliations, people miss each other, have make up sex and enjoy being together again and forget why the broke up in the first place and before long the old issues surface again.

 

Actually doing this stuff together can be a great way to bring you both closer together. Great relationships are built, they don't just happen by accident.

 

Good luck and continue on what you were doing during the break up even though you are back together.

 

Lost

[Why9]

Thank you lostandhurt I'm still a little nervous but trying to remain positive.

[lostandhurt]

Think about the positive things you do know.

 

Are you positive you love her and are In Love with her? How about wanting to marry and raise a family with her?

 

There are building blocks of any foundation and they need to be strong enough to withstand a beating at times. If you have those the foundation will not crumble when stressed. Focus on what is good, then be sure to stay totally open and honest with her and yourself. No guessing what each of you is feeling, TALK about it!!!

 

I think you will see when you become brave and keep everything out in the open how much easier things start to fall into place. If you live in fear of saying something because she may break up with you nothing will change.

 

You both have a second chance to make something great happen hear, not many get that chance so treat it like it is the wonderful gift it is.

 

Lost

[vexcision]

I think you handled that like a pro! Take things slow for sure and I agree with everything aforementioned. I can assure you she is just as nervous, its like meeting again for the first time. Best of luck to the both of you!

[Why9]

Thank you guy's ya we've just been taking it slow and getting to know each other all over again just rebuilding and I'm trying to be the man she deserves. It's not like she asked for the world all she wanted was my love and effection and I feel like a jerk I couldn't give her that much.