Your_Own_Disaster Posted February 27, 2005 Share Posted February 27, 2005 ok, heres the thing.... theres this girl ive liked for a long time, (since the start of college) and ive always thought that she was not attracted to me, so i decided to look elsewhere. i have just found out off a friend that another girl i like, really likes me, alot, and she is in the year below me. i have also just found out that the first girl i mentioned may also like me, but i am not 100% sure about that one. im not sure what to do, do i take a chance with the first girl who i like more on the chance she may like me, or just ask out the second girl who i also like, just not as much. i also dont want to hurt the second girls feelings if she does like me as much as her friend says... another confusing point is, that i get along a bit better with the second girl, but for some reason im attracted to the first girl alot more!!! any help anyone can give me here will be greatly appreciated, thanx. Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 27, 2005 Share Posted February 27, 2005 ask them both out. Well, the 2nd girl for sure (but don't lead her on...) As for the 1st girl, why don't you try getting to know her a bit better... send her a few e-mails, see how she reacts to you... good luck!!! Link to comment
Your_Own_Disaster Posted February 27, 2005 Author Share Posted February 27, 2005 i cant really ask both out, as id probobly loose both of them by doing that, as they will more than likley find out!!!! >_ Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 27, 2005 Share Posted February 27, 2005 well... it seems like you like #2 more as a friend. She's cool to hang around, you said, and if she does like you, it's not really fair to lead her on. So, you may just try asking out #1. But, if things don't go anywhere with #1, then get to know #2 better, and if you still like her or even like her more, ask #2 out in a few months. Good luck!!!! Link to comment
aberdeenhjetman Posted February 27, 2005 Share Posted February 27, 2005 i dont think annie meant ask them out as in gf but as in go on a date with them and see how you get on. im in a similarish situation (except ones my ex who has a bf) but im just taking it one step at a time. just get to know them more then see what one you like more. Link to comment
Alabama Posted February 27, 2005 Share Posted February 27, 2005 If you can manage it, go on separate dates with the two girls. Then take that time after your date with either girl, to decide who you want try to form a relationship with. Good luck! Link to comment
ShySoul Posted February 27, 2005 Share Posted February 27, 2005 Who do you know better? Who do you have more in common with? That's probably the girl that you want want to be with. Listen to your heart and go for the person that you really want to ask out. Link to comment
Your_Own_Disaster Posted February 27, 2005 Author Share Posted February 27, 2005 ShySoul thats just it, i get along better with #2 and also have more in common with #2 yet i keep veering towards #1 more!!! :S it just confuses me, alot! Link to comment
ShySoul Posted February 27, 2005 Share Posted February 27, 2005 What is it about girl #1 that draws you to her? Is it something about her that you wished you had yourself? Is it anyone characteristic, her beauty, personality, intelligence, etc? Or could it be that you've liked her for so long that you feel like you'd be missing out if you didn't take the chance? You said that you didn't think she was attracted to you. Why? Did she say something or is it that you didn't have the confidence in yourself. It's hard to say without knowing the circumstances. Link to comment
Your_Own_Disaster Posted February 27, 2005 Author Share Posted February 27, 2005 im not too sure, she seems a bit shy, and ive known her since the start of college, i think that she doesnt like me because she makes no real effort to talk to me outside of the lessons i have with her, and that she hardly talks on msn, or all that much in the lesson, altho no1 really talks that much in the lesson , teacher is as strict as they come, wont let us talk really. i think she does like me because she keeps trying to leave the room at the same time as me so that she can talk to me or something, so i usually go to her locker with her then out of college. and if i take really long leaving the room, like stay in my seat and fiddle around in my bag tryin 2 get my file in *damm bag* she walks slowly, but looks bak at me when she leaves the room. and she always smiles at me if she sees me outside or around the corridoors etc.... so thats why i think she might like me but its the whole not really talking to me alot etc that makes me thing she's not attracted to me and that she only likes me as a friend. altho theres something, dunno what, that just makes me suspect that she likes me, if she didnt and i knew that, i wouldnt have a problem because id know it would be hopeless and get over it, but as i suspect that she does, then i dunno what to do, so confused :S (confused at frustration, frustrated of confusion) Link to comment
ShySoul Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 Why not make the effort to talk to her? Take some time to really get to know her, maybe gauge her reactions to you, and if you feel comfortable with how things are going, ask her out. You said you've liked her since the start of college. How long has that been? I'm not sure what year you are in. But if its been awhile, then your probably not going to get over it soon. So take a chance and see what happens. It sounds like your heart is into this one girl and that's the one you need to go for, even if the odds are nothing will happen. You want to go for it so that you don't look back one day and realize you missed out on something you really wanted. If things don't work out, then don't be too upset. There are other girls out there who will like you, and you just might know one of them already. Link to comment
MetallicAguy Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 Well I think you should go with Girl#2 just because your sure. I mean she's obviously shy, and their easier to open up to. And what do you know!, you might just like her as much. We want what we can't have, you like Girl #1 more because she's more of a challenge to get. And you get along better with Girl#2 because your probably not as nervous because you know she already likes you. And you don't like her alot. Now Girl#1 you act nervous around because 1. She's a challenge and hard to get. 2. You don't know for sure if she likes you 100%. Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 What would you do if you dated girl #2 for a few months, and then you found out that you have a chance with girl #1. Would you push #2 to the side? Would you spend the time with #2 feeling like you were "settling?" Link to comment
MetallicAguy Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 Or why you like Girl#1 more than Girl#2 is because she has stronger pheromones than Girl#2 and she's playing hard to get making her really attractive to you. Link to comment
Your_Own_Disaster Posted March 2, 2005 Author Share Posted March 2, 2005 aaaaargh i dunno, i just dunno! :S well i got a lesson with #1 in about 30 mins, for about 2 hours, so ill see how things go 'talkin 2 her' style thing.... if she still seems distant and stuff ill probs just give up or something. will reply again when i get bak in probobly ^_^ Link to comment
jabean Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 Well you are attracted to girl 1, so ask her out on a casual date (like coffee or light lunch or study date). If she says no, then you have your answer. You can decide from there if YOU are interested in the other girl. But I do not recommend dating someone just because they like you. If you don't feel any chemistry for the second girl, then there is no reason to date her. You might just give her false hope and hurt her down the line. Link to comment
Your_Own_Disaster Posted March 2, 2005 Author Share Posted March 2, 2005 ok, well i was 10 mins late to the lesson , most ppl were sat on 1 side of the room so i sat on the other with the 2 ppl i usually sit with, she sat on the other side next 2 some other dude. they seem to get along really well, and she seems more interested in him, so theres my answer i guess. oh well, thats life.... #1 out the window. Link to comment
Your_Own_Disaster Posted March 13, 2005 Author Share Posted March 13, 2005 ok, #2 is probs out the window now, i just found out that she is 2 years younger than me, which is kinda putting me off as it seems wrong 2 be attracted 2 her now i know her age.... some1 help! wht do i do.. Link to comment
Your_Own_Disaster Posted March 16, 2005 Author Share Posted March 16, 2005 ok, new revelation here i got talking with #2 and really liked her, found out today that a gig i didnt go 2, that was about 9 hours after i told her how i felt, she made out with her ex, alot, she was very drunk and ppl r sayin he took total advantage of her *hands down her pants and stuff*, but i still dont see being totally drunk as an excuse. she said to 1 of her friends about an hour after the gig, after cryin apparently "omg , ive totally wrecked things with [my name], and i really liked him!" so i know she still likes me. i just dont know how i feel anymore i feel let down, betrayed slightly, i dont know... all i know is i dont feel the same way anymore, why would she do that, so soon after she found out how i felt, and if she does like me as much as she, and her friends keep saying... i dont want to hurt her by just saying "i dont really like you anymore, mainly because of last nite" because , i dont want to hurt her like that, but i also dont want to go out with her now, i still like her alot, just, yeah, i feel let down i guess. ok here i am, rambling, i dont think that this post is even making any sense anymore. WHAT DO I DOOOOO!!!!!!! i really do feel bad now, i just dont understand, she likes me, i told her in person how i felt, which was basically that im totally in love with her, 'was' past tense now. then she goes and does what she did :S..... someone please give me some advice, comment, even if its a pointless comment, and help here is better than no help, thanx in advance, your depressed friend... me! Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 i really do feel bad now, i just dont understand, she likes me, i told her in person how i felt, which was basically that im totally in love with her, 'was' past tense now. then she goes and does what she did :S..... You are funny! Did you seriously go from being iffy about #2, to totally in love with her, but now hurt, all in one week? It's ok - stop freaking out. Just let things play out. Follow whatever your heart says. Remember, this too shall pass.... Good luck dude! Link to comment
Smitty Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 First, sit down and ask yourself "Do I really love her?" I'd have to say that falling for a girl and thinking you love her in a week is a bit fast...I think your just infatuated. My suggestion is to just take some time and realize which girl you wont more...try to get to know #1 just in case #2 doesnt work out for you. Link to comment
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