hb132435 Posted March 6, 2016 Share Posted March 6, 2016 My ex bf broke up with me over 8 months ago. I asked him back after 1 month of break-up and we dated for another month, then another break up. We never really cut contact during the past 8 months, and he didn't date anyone, nor did I. The longest we stopped contact was 6 weeks and then either he contacted me or I contacted him (I did most of the contact). We went through blocking, unblocking, I reached out to him and he reached out to me. A while back I saw him in person was a disaster and I thought he'd never speak to me again but one night he texted me asking me to go over to his place to light a fire with him. I fell for it because I still had strong feelings for him. We just cuddled that night and didn't do anything. Then one night, I went over to his place again to spend some time together. Before he was all like there's no hope for us, you have to move on and then after that day, he told me he didn't know what he want and we can spend time together to see where it goes. I recently went through something difficult and he is supportive (he didn't initiate contact but he'd call me or text me back if I reach out to him, compared to what he was doing before). I very much want to get back together but I feel the situation is impossible to turn around. What do you guys think? Link to comment
Blondie114 Posted March 6, 2016 Share Posted March 6, 2016 It sounds like most of the effort is on your part. When you went through a difficult time he didn't even reach out to see how you were doing... You shouldn't be content with 'crumbs' from him and feel it's supportive enough if he responds when you reach out to him. You deserve better. Maybe there is a chance for you, but only if he can recognise your value and start treating you better. Try not reaching out to him, at all, and see when he eventually notices and reaches out to you. Again, you deserve better... I'm sure you'll find it elsewhere 💜 Link to comment
hb132435 Posted March 6, 2016 Author Share Posted March 6, 2016 Yes, I made most of the effort because I still felt strongly about him but he does not anymore. I just want to know if I should accept what we are now and try to see where it goes or just completely forget about him. The breakup was detrimental to me and I was upset for the longest time. It was so hard for me to let him go. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 6, 2016 Share Posted March 6, 2016 This is a waste of time. You have tried repeatedly to rekindle the relationship, but it is not working - after the second try, you should of both moved on. You are doing most of the work, and only delaying the inevitable. Time to block and move on with your life. THERE IS NO FUTURE HERE! Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 6, 2016 Share Posted March 6, 2016 Yes, I made most of the effort because I still felt strongly about him but he does not anymore. I just want to know if I should accept what we are now and try to see where it goes or just completely forget about him. The breakup was detrimental to me and I was upset for the longest time. It was so hard for me to let him go. Why are you settling for so little, when you know that he does not have feelings for you? You couldn't ket go, as you were always in contact. Link to comment
hb132435 Posted March 6, 2016 Author Share Posted March 6, 2016 I'm going through something difficult now and I really need him to be there for me. Before he said there's no future for us and now he's saying he doesn't know and we'll have to see. I guess that gives me faint hope that maybe one day we'll get back together. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 6, 2016 Share Posted March 6, 2016 He is stringing you along. You should never go with maybes. Why does he not want to be with you? I can also guarantee that he will not change his mind, as you have been too available and given your self respect away. You should not be so dependent on him. he is not your partner. lean on others What is so difficult? Link to comment
hb132435 Posted March 7, 2016 Author Share Posted March 7, 2016 He is stringing you along. You should never go with maybes. Why does he not want to be with you? I can also guarantee that he will not change his mind, as you have been too available and given your self respect away. You should not be so dependent on him. he is not your partner. lean on others What is so difficult? He's my first love... Link to comment
Shane Falco Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 He's my first love... Most people don't end up with their first love. Instead of trying to glue together the broken plate that is your first love, why not put yourself in a mindset to find the next love? He doesn't want to date you -- you have to accept that and you actually have to detach. What you are doing is disaster. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 He's my first love... And? We have all had first loves. He does not feel the same. You cannot make him want you, and I can guarantee that the route you have taken, is pushing him further away. Link to comment
Densel Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 Leave him alone. Tell him go figure out what he really wants then contact you. Link to comment
hb132435 Posted March 8, 2016 Author Share Posted March 8, 2016 Leave him alone. Tell him go figure out what he really wants then contact you. After a weekend, he refused to talk to me on the phone or meet up, said we could only text. I'm so hurt all over again, given the position I'm in right now was mostly due to the break up. I'm going no contact for a while. Link to comment
hb132435 Posted April 12, 2016 Author Share Posted April 12, 2016 Updates on the situation. So I haven't been in contact since my last post. Then he called me out of blue a couple of days ago and asked me to meet him. I went anyway but I was really mad at him since he was the one who asked me to move on. We are not back together but he said we could give it another try. However, there is this other girl in the picture and I don't know what to make of it... Link to comment
luishenrique Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 Don't create too much hope. He's saying that you guys could give the relationship another try but it's not the first time he said that so be aware and keep up the No Contact! Wait for him to take concrete actions and prove to you he's really eager to date you again Link to comment
hb132435 Posted August 19, 2017 Author Share Posted August 19, 2017 I actually felt awful coming back to the forum. I thought I finally started healing from the break-up. The last contact from the said ex was a year ago. He started seeing some other girl and we cut off contact. A month ago, I got drunk and posted a picture (on something funny we used to talk about) on Instagram but deleted it after 10 mins. Never thought he'd see it. Then a week ago, he drunk dialed (missed his call) and then texted saying that he saw the picture and ask me if I want to call him. I really don't know what to make of it. It's been such a long time. Honestly, I'm not completely over him, but I've said harsh things to him and he promised he'd never drunk dial me again. Link to comment
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