Why women like clothes... and men like women?

[al7]

1. Hmm... interesting. Did you try to walk out with a short skirt, heels and make up exactly in the same place in the gym?

I am sure when you wear heels/skirt/makeup to go out, and not when going to the gym.

 

So first, places where you go can make a difference.

In the gym guys might be busy which their own muscles way more

than guys who go out...

 

Second, when you wear sweatpants and ponytail, you may think about it as if you are in a "less attractive mode". So you may just pay less attention who look at you and who dont. Especailly in the gym where you are busy doing somehting...

 

Third, if we measure attractiveness in terms of number of heads you made turn, then any miniskirt would do it naturally way better than sweatpants. Why? Guys can see some nice legs from all angles even if you walk fast and turn your back to them. So they pay attention.

If you wear sweatpants, they can't see anything..and "nothing" is a not attractive thing. So it is basically about "to show" or not to show...

I already said that before: for guys, women's clothes seem do not matter, in fact they would rather prefer no clothes at all....

 

Also, I think most really important is her face. Yes, guys would look at all mini skirts, sure. But it doenst play the major role. it is just a head turner

 

2. Right, I agree on that. It shows his style. Though the thing is why

this style is important to a woman, since a woman style is not that important for men. by the same logic, her style show if she is a hippie, businesswoman maybe or a nerd or trendsetter. But that doesnt bother men at all. They would happily date all of of these women regardless of her style or what she does... if she possess a cute smile and pretty face

 

3. I watched some Total makeover, which of course makes sense: plastic surgery works for anyone.

What you mentioned is about just clothes: I watched some of it cuz I was convinced it was for women only: it didn't make any sense to me, a guy, since in the beginning and in the end I saw exactly the same women of exctaly the same level of attractiveness....

[annie24]

Well, why do you think, Al, that women like clothes so much? Like you said, men like women with a nice figure and pretty face. If you pick up any women's magazine, you'll see articles like, "Dress for your body type" and "Lose 10 pounds in 10 seconds with these fabulous dresses!" Part of it is a visual illusion. There are some clothes that make women look chunky, and some clothes that make women look slimmer. That's why the "little black dress" is a classic.

 

When choosing my clothing, I try to find clothes that are 1) appropriate for the occasion, and 2) emphasize my good features, while downplaying other features.

 

I'm sure that a Victoria's Secret model tried, she could find some ugly clothing that would make her look not hot anymore. Like a muu muu dress. Still hot? I don't think so.

[annie24]

Well, with the "walking to the gym" analogy, I mean not at the gym itself. I mean walking down the exact same street. Same woman, just one hour later, with a different set of clothes on (street clothes, not gym clothes).

 

But, I don't get it. You just acknowledged that men will notice a woman wearing a miniskirt more than a woman wearing sweatpants. THAT'S THE POINT!!!! Exactly. The clothes make a difference. If I go to a bar, let me assure you, that if I am wearing a mini skirt and super sexy heels, I will have more men approach me and ask me out than if I am wearing my old baggy college T-shirt and sweatpants and old sneakers.

[al7]

1. Girls are pickier......hm.. yes I guess.

 

2. Interesting.. what do clothes say about guy's personality? That for exmaple he a) doenst look at fashion magazines b) he wears what he feels comfortable.

So what we have? He is lazy to read about fashion...he likes comfort.

Hm... is it that important part of his personality?

 

3b. "he's unique".. I am just curious, he is unique in what sense? That he looks at fashin magazines and copies what he saw there? Where is the uniquness? Maybe it is very obvious for women.. for a guy it is hard to get why it is unique approach.

 

4. Well, first thing I do is I look at her face. If she looks pretty (for my taste) she is in I look at her clothes only in order to figure out how much attention she pays to her own clothes: if she is experienced in dating or not. Though it doesnt affect how I am attracted to her at all.

 

5. The way you write I can tell you, you are a very pretty girl.

[al7]

Well, with the "walking to the gym" analogy, I mean not at the gym itself. I mean walking down the exact same street. Same woman, just one hour later, with a different set of clothes on (street clothes, not gym clothes).

 

But, I don't get it. You just acknowledged that men will notice a woman wearing a miniskirt more than a woman wearing sweatpants. THAT'S THE POINT!!!! Exactly. The clothes make a difference. If I go to a bar, let me assure you, that if I am wearing a mini skirt and super sexy heels, I will have more men approach me and ask me out than if I am wearing my old baggy college T-shirt and sweatpants and old sneakers.

 

Yes, I did. Men do notice miniskirts better Yes, it does turn their heads.

The thing is will they still want to date her when they see her face better?

(I exclude some player who may not care about anything at all)

 

I am talking about some real attraction. What is real? Somehting that makes them decide. For example: to answer a guy's email or not... to give him a number or not.. Seems clothes would do that for some (most?)women (How wrong am I here?).

For most guys (who are not players means they do consider a relationship with her as a possibility) it is her face that is most crucial attraction factor.

 

Guys see some attractive feet & legs.. oh.. hold on... do they see attractive clothes? They see her body that they find attrative. Clothes by itself are not something they would be attracted to: they might get his attetion, yes, but to play a major role in his decision: to ask her out, approach her etc. If you take off some of the clothes - sure, it is a turn on.

[al7]

Well, why do you think, Al, that women like clothes so much? Like you said, men like women with a nice figure and pretty face. If you pick up any women's magazine, you'll see articles like, "Dress for your body type" and "Lose 10 pounds in 10 seconds with these fabulous dresses!" Part of it is a visual illusion. There are some clothes that make women look chunky, and some clothes that make women look slimmer. That's why the "little black dress" is a classic.

 

 

I'm sure that a Victoria's Secret model tried, she could find some ugly clothing that would make her look not hot anymore. Like a muu muu dress. Still hot? I don't think so.

 

Definitely clothes can change some visual illusions about her body.

But can they change her face? Ok can some makeup change her face?

A little. But not much. Maybe hide some problems - yes for sure.

But to improve overall face attractiveness? I dont think so.

 

And that is precisely why men dont use make up at all: they cannot get the idea why would make up improve your attractiveness.

FOr some reason unclear to men women believe makeup works.

...Somebody wrote a book" Men are from Mars, women are from Venus".. really.. so different opinions.

 

Eh.. what's muu muu dress?

FOr me it doesnt matter how hot she is in her best clothes. Or in her worst one. I look at her face first, and eventually it is either attractive or not.

[annie24]

I don't necessarily think that the clothes or the body or the face are the most crucial attractor. There are clearly men and women out there that are... well... quite unattractive. But, they have managed to get dates and fall in love and get married. Obviously, there was something else there too. Personality perhaps....?

 

But Al, like I've said to you before, girls don't want to date guys who look like their wearing their grandpa's clothes. Ick. Not attractive. Me, personally, I don't want to wear a man who studies the men's fashion magazines closely and wears everything trendy. I would assume that he is gay. On the other hand, a man who wears old shirts with holes in them, and jeans with stains... he doesn't care enough about his appearance. I, like most other girls I think, we're just looking for something in between.

[al7]

1. Very surprising. It must be a really rare, special "breed" of guys who would not even want to go on one date with a cute girl (at least to figure out if she is a compatible person). I meant that a cute face gurantees lots of date for women. I am not saying a relationship.

 

2. That is just my opinion about how women think (Can I express my opinion? Sure? Thank you). of course I'd glad to hear women's thoughts about it.

 

3. Hmm.. it makes me think guys are very different. For me clothes is nothing...you say they do matter. Ok. It is just me.

Do you mind telling me why women's clothes matter for you? You dont date her clothes, you are not attracted to her clothes unless you are a fashion designer... you are considering to date her or not to date. Do clothes influence your decision alot?

 

4. Yeah, we are really different on that.

[annie24]

makeup doesn't make a woman look attractive? Al.... you've never lived with a girlfriend, have you? Open up any women's magazine, and inevitably, there is a section in the back "movie stars in real life." You will see photos of all the most beautiful models and actresses at the grocery store, picking up dry cleaning, whatever. When they are not wearing makeup, or have their hair done, and not wearing their fancy clothes, trust me, you can hardly recognize them! They are with their young children, and looking like every other run down housewife you'd see at te grocery store. in fact, they're not very attractive either. I've seen photos of Pam Anderson w/o makeup on - she looks terrible!!! really really bad.

[Mun]

I want to date a guy that cares about his appearance. Why? because that tells me that he wants to look good for ME... and that's important to me. Of course I won't overlook how he treats me for his looks.. how he behaves is more important...but I won't deny that how he dresses matters also.

 

I once had a breakfast date with a guy that looked like he hadn't even washed his face that morning. Total turn off and I never went out with him again. So good grooming is important too.

 

Then I went out with a guy who was very trendy, nice guy, but he was wearing more jewelry than me !! Sorry guys but I'm the girl--I want a manly man.

 

I dated this gorgeous man. He had a face .. but his style was all his own let me tell you( big bold print shirts). I dated him because he was good to me and my kids bad clothes and all. How he treated us was more important than his clothes.

 

I think it's a mistake to generalize here. Sure we look at your clothes and you have a better chance if you look attractive to us, but thats not the most important thing in most cases. You better have a good personality to go along with it or you're out the door--you AND your Brand Name clothes.

[Mun]

Those before and after pictures.. heh.. Let's just say I know what I look like before and after make up ... and it makes a BIG difference. I don't wear much, I'd rather wear as little as I can get away from--but even that is a huge change.

 

Me going out without makeup would be offensive to others. I don't want to scare people like that.

 

I think what you don't want is a High-maintenance girl Al7. Nothing wrong with that. It's a personal preference and you are entitled to it. Now you can jump up and down and complain all you want why clothes is important, but it just is.

 

Take for example job interviews, we are told left and right that the right impression is as important as our resume. My sister, who works in human resources for a company on Wall street, told me what she considers inappropriate for job interviews. Imagine gettting X'ed out because you showed up to an interview with hoop earrings? She does that. She said " hoop earrings? not unless you're JLo."

[al7]

I don't necessarily think that the clothes or the body or the face are the most crucial attractor. There are clearly men and women out there that are... well... quite unattractive. But, they have managed to get dates and fall in love and get married. Obviously, there was something else there too. Personality perhaps....?

 

But Al, like I've said to you before, girls don't want to date guys who look like their wearing their grandpa's clothes. Ick. Not attractive. Me, personally, I don't want to wear a man who studies the men's fashion magazines closely and wears everything trendy. I would assume that he is gay. On the other hand, a man who wears old shirts with holes in them, and jeans with stains... he doesn't care enough about his appearance. I, like most other girls I think, we're just looking for something in between.

 

I am just saying that clothes are important for women when they think to date a guy or not to date.

For guys women clothes are much less important when they decide to date her or not to date.. as you mentioned before: the more open skin/shorter skirt she has the more guys would approch her...

[al7]

makeup doesn't make a woman look attractive? Al.... you've never lived with a girlfriend, have you? Open up any women's magazine, and inevitably, there is a section in the back "movie stars in real life." You will see photos of all the most beautiful models and actresses at the grocery store, picking up dry cleaning, whatever. When they are not wearing makeup, or have their hair done, and not wearing their fancy clothes, trust me, you can hardly recognize them! They are with their young children, and looking like every other run down housewife you'd see at te grocery store. in fact, they're not very attractive either. I've seen photos of Pam Anderson w/o makeup on - she looks terrible!!! really really bad.

 

I dont know but I have somthgin that tells me what's important and whats not. I figured out that even if she donesnt have any makeup and her hair looks like sleepy spaghetti...it doesnt matter, cuz she still has her cute face, wonderful smell...nice curves...

 

Never read women's magazine, though I agree celebrities are not all that pretty. at least for my taste.

Oh, the link is cool!!! They go overborad a bit distorting some pics, but anyway tehy got the right idea. some celebrities are simply their more of their glamour shots. Very good! I recommend this link!

[al7]

Interesting. In fact I didnt want to generalize any further.. I notice so many guys (majority?) do not care about what they wear. And at the same time so many women do care about their clothes.

I am not implying clothes are everything, but they are very importnat when you first see a man. When a guy first see a woman, he may not even think about how trendy or not trendy she is dressed..

There are some exceptions of course as eveytwhere.

 

The best phrase is: "Why? because that tells me that he wants to look good for ME... and that's important to me."

I love it! Why? because it clarifies why and generates more questions...

doesnt a guy look desperate if he is trying to impress a woman by his clothes?

 

Example: a guy brought her flowers. She like the flowers but may think

he is trying too hard... that he is desperate. In fact he just wants

to make somthing good for her.

Or if a guy set up his own website for online dating with many pics and lot fo info about him. Would not it look that way that he is desperate and trying too hard?

 

I dont know where is the boorder between"trying too hard" and "look good for her"

[al7]

I acutally dont mind this importance: if I am told it is important, ok, it is imporatant and I can't change that. But I do questions it and look for the origins.

 

I am sure I know why peculiar easrrings are no no for intervews.

Cuz a company want not only a good worker, they want a docile enough worker, who can listend and obey rules.

 

In dating clothes are not rules...it all depends as we can see. Moreover most men cannot see much in terms of style..

 

I can easily see why companies wants their employees to obey rules, cuz it is important for the company well being, for generating income and profit. Cuz this is the goals of companies.

 

With women it is a bit more complex

[Mun]

Never take flowers to a first date, and possibly not even the second date because I believe it WILL make a guy look desperate. I'll give you one example.

I went to a wedding and at this wedding I danced with my brother-in-laws uncle. Well I don't know what he was thinking because we danced and we were friendly but that's it. He shows up the next week at my house with a really nice plant.. not flowers mind you, but a plant and wants to ask me to date him. First of all I didn't care much for him, I didn't know him and yes him bringing me a gift was a bit much. It did look kinda desperate as if he was saying " like me please, I come bearing gifts" and this wasn't even a date.

 

I don't know about the personal add thing. I haven't done it and I don't want to comment on that.

 

I think you should keep in mind to present your best self with clothes that flatter you, but don't go overboard in trying to win a woman over by giving her stuff.. just don't do it --I would tell women this too. Leave the flowers for special occasions or at least past the second date.

[al7]

Never take flowers to a first date, and possibly not even the second date because I believe it WILL make a guy look desperate. I'll give you one example.

I went to a wedding and at this wedding I danced with my brother-in-laws uncle. Well I don't know what he was thinking because we danced and we were friendly but that's it. He shows up the next week at my house with a really nice plant.. not flowers mind you, but a plant and wants to ask me to date him. First of all I didn't care much for him, I didn't know him and yes him bringing me a gift was a bit much. It did look kinda desperate as if he was saying " like me please, I come bearing gifts" and this wasn't even a date.

 

I see you point. No gifts\flowers on a first dates.

 

Though..just cannot get it:

Why flowers may show that he is desperate, but his clothes (that obviously he wears for her... not for himself) shows completely oppsite, that he cares about her.

To me, he cares about her giving her flower AND wearing some nice clothes. Did I miss somthing in this "equation"?

[Gauchori]

awwww this is sorry..... all this clothes stuff!!! Why would a girl judge a guy by his clothes? What if he's poor or something, come on!!!

 

Sheesh.... I wish we lived in Adan and Eve's time........ So we wouln't had to worry about clothes.................................................bucause................ we woul't wear any....................................................

[Kitz]

 

Example: a guy brought her flowers. She like the flowers but may think

he is trying too hard... that he is desperate. In fact he just wants

to make somthing good for her.

Or if a guy set up his own website for online dating with many pics and lot fo info about him. Would not it look that way that he is desperate and trying too hard?

 

I dont know where is the boorder between"trying too hard" and "look good for her"

 

The setting up his own website for online dating, with many pictures and alot of info about him etc does make him look like he's incredibly desperate, trying too hard and just wants a quick lay or something.

But a guy buying someone flowers is so sweet. I'd melt into a little puddle of bubbling happiness if for V-day my boyfriend turned up at the door with a bunch of roses. Its called being romantic, lol.

Though on a first date... that would be a bit desperate looking, I think. If it was like a single rose or something though.. that'd be cute. Not a full on bunch though.

 

awwww this is sorry..... all this clothes stuff!!! Why would a girl judge a guy by his clothes? What if he's poor or something, come on!!!

I feel like a skank saying this, but like.. exactly. XD I haven't hit that stage yet, but as you get older, you're going to want to start looking for a guy with lots of money who'll pamper you and be able to support you and any kids you might have together, etc.

[annie24]

I really like Muneca's comments about the job interview. That is essentially what a first date is - you are interviewing for the job of boyfriend/bed buddy. For example, I went on a date with a guy who showed up wearing and old shirt, old jeans, old sneakers, and he didn't even shower! He was just wearing whatever he was wearing at school. He didn't make ANY effort to look nice for me. And want to know why... because he told me later in the date that he really didn't like me. Awesome.

 

If you think that clothes don't matter, would you show up for a job interview wearing beach sandals, shorts, and a T-shirt, even if they are comfortable?

 

But as for the earrings - most companies don't have rules about earrings. However, hoop earrings just look unprofessional - why? Because they are earrings that you would wear on a date, or at a bar, not something a bank teller should wear.

[al7]

1. The setting up his own website for online dating, with many pictures and alot of info about him etc does make him look like he's incredibly desperate, trying too hard and just wants a quick lay or something.

 

2. But a guy buying someone flowers is so sweet. I'd melt into a little puddle of bubbling happiness if for V-day my boyfriend turned up at the door with a bunch of roses. Its called being romantic, lol.

Though on a first date... that would be a bit desperate looking, I think. If it was like a single rose or something though.. that'd be cute. Not a full on bunch though.

 

3. as you get older, you're going to want to start looking for a guy with lots of money who'll pamper you and be able to support you and any kids you might have together, etc.

 

1. Ok, that what I thought. I believe it is true. Though sombod told me it is a good idea to set up a small webpage with my pic, resume, hobbies - to supplement my online profile, I didnt do that, thinking it would look despeate.

 

2. Ok, flowers on the first date\meeting make his despearte. Ok, I agree on that again. Though comes the MOST CRUCIAL question:

Why in the world this stylish clothes that he obviously wear only for her, only for this particular date, do not make him look despearte???

To me it is the same as flowers\gifts\website. Right?

I cannot get this incongruity...

 

3. Thats fine as long as you states it. What is strange to is the stylish clothes are not always expensive suit and a tie. Some cheap black jeans would do that. Something really cheap works TOO! So his clothes is not always reflect his money level, it is something abut his style, that he follow trends, and that he does it for her.

Is not it the same as trying to harrd with gift\flowers for her?

[al7]

The purpose of some specific style for a job interview is obvious. The company wants to wear what is necessary for the job. They want you to do so cuz otherwise yu would spook some custmers and that would cut their profits. It is all clear and make sense.

 

Now, if a guy showed up all dressed up with classy style... what does it mean? It means he is trying to look nicer for this particular first date.

Right? He is tryg to wear good clothes too impress her. Agree?

Please.. tell me how it is different from from him bringing a girl\flowers on the first date?? It is the same idea: he is trying to impress her,

but for some reasons his stylish clothes for her are fine, not desperate, but his flowers\gifts look desperate...

Why? what is the diference?

[RayKay]

I would not say I look at specific clothes when I meet a person - but I WILL look for a clean, tidy appearance. You do not need to be wearing designer stuff for that!

 

When I first met my boyfriend (it was essentially a blind date as we had met online and I only had a couple pictures of him taken during an adventure race (so sweaty, dirty and tired looking!) to go by. Of course, I was attracted to him like that too, and when I met him he was dressed very simply - jeans, a white polypropylene short sleeved shirt, and a pair of brown shoes. Nothing fancy, certainly not "designer" or expensive, but he looked great as I could tell he had made effort to look good for me (and he smelled really good too ). But more importantly, it was also "him" and he did not change HOW he dressed, just made sure he was tidy and clean. Because he DOES dress like that regularly! I am attracted to him regardless of what he wears - be it workout clothes, nothing but boxers while around the house, and when he dresses up for a nice night out together

 

A past boyfriend (whom I also met online) I actually initially made contact with him because in his online picture he was wearing this old-style polyester, brown leisure suit..and it made me smile since I knew he was someone who could have fun with himself and showed his character.

 

First impressions ARE important, but you don't need to dress expensive or out of your character to make such an impression.

[al7]

1. I have thought about it... hmmm I hve to admit yes, makeup does make people look better. More attractive.

But it again poses a new question: why it is fine for women to use makeup in order to look better, but men's makeup is a despised thing by mny women...

Why women are allowed to do anything in order look better?

And mean are not?

Example: it is fine to a women to shave her legs. If a guy admit that.. many women would think he is almost a gay or so...

Why??? he has the same desire to look better for women, why he cannot do same thing women can? Does it really make him not masculine: using make up/ shaving legs etc?

 

2. You are quite perceptive: definitely high maintanence is big turn off for me. A woman should be reliable first of all.

Besides I consider myself bery low maintanence.

... once a girl from online told me on the phone, that she used to get her way all the time (she was no joking!), and she stays accross the road from her mom's house. I wanted to hang up right away...

I do not consider myself very picky though

[RayKay]

1. I have thought about it... hmmm I hve to admit yes, makeup does make people look better. More attractive.

But it again poses a new question: why it is fine for women to use makeup in order to look better, but men's makeup is a despised thing by mny women...

Why women are allowed to do anything in order look better?

And mean are not?

Example: it is fine to a women to shave her legs. If a guy admit that.. many women would think he is almost a gay or so...

Why??? he has the same desire to look better for women, why he cannot do same thing women can? Does it really make him not masculine: using make up/ shaving legs etc?

 

I know lots of men who shave their legs - I'm a cyclist! There are a few reasons why they do so, just as swimmers often do, etc. They are still very manly.........

 

And honestly if a guy tells me he shaves his legs (even if not for sport) I don't think he is any less manly and does not change my attraction level for them at all. But it is rare for men not in cycling/swimming to do so because for one it is a LOT of work to do all the time

 

I think for women who are not involved in the sports would find it odd for guys to do, but if they explained, maybe not?

 

I have also met many men who wear makeup - goth or even coverup, etc. Again, don't think it makes them less manly but there are reasons why most don't wear more than that - its a lot of work as well and the makeup industry does not really make guy-orientated makeup! I do admit if a guy wore makeup complete with eyeshadow, blush etc and was not a newscaster I probably would not be attracted to that, as I am attracted to more of a "rugged manly look". To me makeup makes one look more feminine/delicate and I would not like that personally.

 

Women's makeup tends to make them look more "feminine" which is attractive to most. For me I wear relatively little makeup - just the basics and go more for the natural look. I have been told that I have that "natural beauty" and am very pretty without it but for me some makeup still makes me feel more confident so I do wear it in small amounts and when I am going out somewhere for the night. It makes me feel sexier. I think if a guy needed some coverup or something to feel better, by all means