Dad coming in between us

[Justash]

Sorry if this is a long one!

 

So I've never had the best luck in relationships, had 2 end out of the blue so was hoping it would be third time lucky, by the looks of it it won't be!

 

We have been together 7 months, known each other 10. Things in general are great, we get in a few heated discussions nothing major.

 

He's 4 years younger than me and his dad to say the least is very protective. He made a rule we are only allowed to see each other once a week but that has gotten better. December was when it mainly started. It took me a while to meet him and he had told my boyfriend he will never agree with our relationship before he even met me. When I eventually met him I was petrified but he is really nice to my surprise. Has told me a few times I am welcome over anytime.

 

Today I had arranged to go over but his dad told him I was not allowed and cancelled on me. He's even gone as far as saying I'm not allowed to see him on his birthday in a few days.

 

My boyfriend has tried talking to him but all he says is 'you're too young to settle down' (he is 19). I am in no way looking to get married or have a child etc but on the other hand I don't think it's much to ask to see him twice a week?

 

I think my boyfriend is a little scared of him as he finds it hard to stand up to him. I'm not sure how much more I can take of this as at the moment it seems like he's trying to get us to turn against each other and I feel it's starting to work.

 

 

HELP?!!

[Seraphim]

Does he live with his dad?

[Justash]

Yeah still lives with him. Has told me it will never change as long as he lives there but we're in no position to move out together

[Seraphim]

He is just barely entering adulthood and still needs his dad for survival so he is going to have to follow his dad's rules until he can support himself.

[Hm1357]

It sounds like your boyfriend's dad has control issues. I disagree that he should have to follow his father's rules just because he lives with him. At the age of 19, he should be allowed to seek a healthy relationship unless it was a consuming, overbearing relationship that caused him to neglect his responsibilities and priorities. If he is scared of his father, was he ever abused? If there's no history of abuse, I would want my boyfriend to have a heart to heart conversation about him growing to be a man and his dad needs to let that happen.