What stance should I take to help my chances ?

[Fitzland]

Where to start ?... thanks for bearing with my text!

I met this girl in class(university) and I began to develop a crush on her and then managed to approach her to talk. We had a lot of common interest but I also learned she had a boyfriend so I kind of settled for friendship. During that time she began texting and snpachatting me everyday and cooking for me every monday.

 

About the 10th of November she told me things weren't good with her boyfriend for at least 5 months so I listened to her but said that was not my place to tell her what to do about that particular subject. The 16 of November she told me "newsflash I am now single" The next week she invited me to her apartment played the piano for me and sang. At that point I realised bow much I was in love with that beautiful russian girl so by the end of the month I went to a bar with her and told her I had a romantic interest. Then we went to a cafe and she cuddled with me never answering.

 

The next week she asked me to stay with her after class we talked and then she started making out with me for hours. Then she came to my home the same happened and the next day too but then we had sex.

 

We held hands in public she wanted to cuddle all the time texted me all night and kissed me goodbye during all of December.

 

She insisted we stay together for the 25 and the new year's eve. We got drunk and I had relationship talk. She bursted out and on the 1st of January wrote me that we were only friends and so on....

 

Now I am not an idiot it was clear but I still love her very much. I don't know what is going on in her head but I wanted to stop all contact for a month for her to figure out her feelings but since we have class together starting next week I choked and told her I would be her friend still.

 

Now I know my chances are slim, do I still try to tell her I need more time without contact and see if she misses me or do I stay her friend in the hope of going out with her and see if what I offer her will make her love me, not in the kind of puppy slave way tough. Thing is I really want to go out with her or at least have her as a friend and I feel no contact is better for a month or so but I feel uneasy going back on my words.

 

In those 3 months I learned to know her I can see that I really am in love for the good points and I also aknowledge her bad points... she has issues and honestly and I don't want to change or save her, but I want to be by her side noneless.

[lancelot873]

the word i thought of when i read this is be "formal" with her. nothing lovey dovey. be her friend but don't give in to temptation (this is the hardest part). don't tell her you need more time, just take the time you need. if she asks you why you are distant, then tell her straight up and be honest.

 

i'm only saying this because this is what you want to hear. if i was in your shoes, i wouldn't even look at her anymore. and let her live with the guilt. she used you. really? stay for Christmas and New Years? she was clearly lonely and wanted to just use you because you seemed nice to her.

 

good luck either way

[Fitzland]

the word i thought of when i read this is be "formal" with her. nothing lovey dovey. be her friend but don't give in to temptation (this is the hardest part). don't tell her you need more time, just take the time you need. if she asks you why you are distant, then tell her straight up and be honest.

 

i'm only saying this because this is what you want to hear. if i was in your shoes, i wouldn't even look at her anymore. and let her live with the guilt. she used you. really? stay for Christmas and New Years? she was clearly lonely and wanted to just use you because you seemed nice to her.

 

good luck either way

 

Thanks for the advice and honesty. I know it would be easier if I felt like she used me hahahaha ! and I would if she did not do that much cooking and spend that much time with me. But since she was not in love with me, and did tell me, but acted like a girlfriend I hoped she would translate seamlessly to that and got ahead of myself by telling her.

 

I know the thing I should do would be simply never see her again and move on or just be a friend. But I came to the conclusion that I'd prefer a chance to seduce her later, in months maybe, whatever the odds... Not by just hanging out like her damn lapdog. I might also try to casually date other girls waiting the right moment. Maybe use the opportunity when she goes back to Russia 2 months to see if she misses me or forget me to make my mind or text her that I do think about her or leven move on who knows.

 

What I want to know is how to improve the chances I have with that knowing it won't be easy or garanteed.