help!!!!!! crazy, insane, woman in trouble or sorts

[brando]

I feel we all prevent ourselves from enjoying life. I know how my thoughts wander and sometimes turn negative. It is hard. But i seem to always find a silver lining. ( i know , cliche) I have been reading some boks on thoughts. How our thoughts consume and sometimes can crush us. How we dont have to believe, spend time on each and every thought we process. Our thoughts create our realities. I know i need to change these patterns. It is a constant conscious effort.

 

I wish i had more to say. Hang in there Fantasia, keep posting.

[FuriousSam]

Try this book called Mindlines.

[brando]

is this a good read?? im looking at a web page about the book... just curious to know if you read it...

[fantasia2004]

Try this book called Mindlines.

 

 

How can this book help me?

[FuriousSam]

The book teaches you how to turn negative thinking into a positive one. The term is called reframing. Here's an example:

 

Let's take the case of 2 guys in High School.

 

Guy 1 sees a girl he is 'attracted' to and contemplates all the possibilities of a relationship, how beautiful she is, what sex could be like down the road, the dates they could go on, and the endless thoughts that consume his brain prior to taking action. He even incorporates some negative ones as well, such as the potential rejection, her dumping him in the future, or even cheating on him.

 

He takes action finally, or maybe he delays until the moment is right. In any event, he killed the potential learning experience and even potential friendship/relationship by anticipating so much. Worse off, his "frame" of women he's attracted to is negative.

 

This is bad. Now, whenever he sees a girl he likes, he'll feel like he will fail already. That is unless he works up the courage to try again. Otherwise, he will assimilate this vision, this outcome, as if X=Y, as 1+1=2, and now you have AFC-dome. Because he WAS a man here, he feels the next course of action is to SLIDE in there, via a friendship, or wait and wait and wait, or try "to get her to like me through gifts, gloating, and kissing ass."

 

Guy 2 on the other hand views meeting women as an experience. He sees her as cute, and thinks at the very least, it'd be a nice addition to the day to chat with a cute girl. She isn't threatening, she's his type, so if they seem compatible, then maybe there's a future.

 

Guy 2 takes action and succeeds, because he's not pressured to seduce her all at once. He realizes the dance/journey may last only this conversation, or it may last forever, one cannot possibly know WHAT this dance will be, the "thong song" or the "bon jovi always song." He merely does at the moment the thought that comes to him. And succeeds! From then on out, he is conditioned to believe in himself and that it doesn't hurt to meet people, or girls he likes. Why shouldn't he go for girls he likes? What others should he go for, ones he doesn't like, won't treat well, or waste their time?

 

NO!

 

These 2 guys might be the same looking, but achieved different results, partly because of their view on approaching, but also it includes an element of unexpectedness...something where they have no control. Maybe...

 

-she was PMSing.

-failed a test.

-lost a dear friend.

-was recently dumped.

-is a lesbian.

-doesn't like you.

 

Reframing deals with reshaping, or flipping the coin. In essense, it gives you the tools to realize there's multiple view points to story, so if you're watching a movie, perhaps your friend sees the explosion, while you hear the explosion, and yet another friend FEELs the car exploding.

 

The book is a little tough to read (At least for me) but very well written.

[brando]

it appears you got a good grip on the book. Thanks.

[fantasia2004]

I cannot wait for the day, when I can release myself from my turmoil of depression and unhappiness.

[fantasia2004]

For the record I do not know why I am and looking at thoings negatively I just am doing so I want to be healthy be consistant but something keeps holding back.

 

I can't take anti-depressants because I am afarid I might become dependent on them I want to stop obsessing over my ex and stop feeling down and inworthy .

 

yes your words are helpful but the real work is me to let go and really see the bright picture.

[fantasia2004]

I am here once again and my problems have arised.

 

I have not posted this latest entry because of seeking attention despite some of you or might of think.

 

I have not healed from things that have been either brought upon by myself or by others who have stunted my growth.

 

 

I feel that I have reached my lowest point with problems that have arisen and it is getting worse as we speak.

 

How could I have gotten this way ? I am starting to punish myself by claiming to be the faithful to God. Why has my depression gotten this bad?

 

 

 

 

I have not gotten over my exes break from me fully but I know I do not wish to be with him again.

 

My friends have left me in a state of confusion and dismissed me when I try to connect again which of course was weak of me. I tried to make an effort to meet new people but to no avail I feel scared and paranoid.

 

I drive people away. It hurts I had my ex leave me my friends left me other people run from me because of my mood swings.I am bitter and more angered about little things. And plotting revenge. I feel it is payback time.

Do not laugh, this is serious. I feel awful yet I am trying to change my heavy cloud of sorrow.

 

The next post should be better just venting and prayinghoping change will come.

 

I am on the verge of rock bottom or is there a sure fire way to know if you did reach that level ? How will you know if it happens? Do turn of events arise to get you back on your feet?