Need some advice

[Scott88]

I am naturally shy. I am friendly acquaintances with tons of people, but I never talk to them outside of school or work and I never do anything with them. Im not naturally social, and sometimes I stuggle to keep a interesting conversation going (I tend to sit back and watch/listen, while other people socialize).

 

Anyways, I met a girl at work that I like (and vice versa), and she wants to be friends. We've planned to get food together a couple of times, but my antisocial side tends to try to back out at the last second. We both still want to do something together.

 

I think that she realizes that im naturally shy. She is trying to show me that she is totally comfortable around me; however, im still trying to break out of my shell.

 

Does anyone have any advice to get something lined up with and follow through with it? Is there anything I can do to be more comfortable around her? In addition, how can I make sure that I can keep my social and work lives separate (and let her know that I wish to)? In addition, is there a way that I can gradually turn some of my "acquaintances" into friends? Or any other advice/questions?

 

Thank you,

"Shy" Scott

[Day_Walker]

Pretty much what its gonna come down to is you wanting to break out of your shell. This doesnt mean that you have to dramatically do different things but challange yourself not to be shy. It can be easy to start out just slowing work yourself into the conversation. A conversations isnt something thats difficult its just expressing your thoughts and ideas. The key thing is not to be affraid to say whats on your mind. If you want to have friends outside of work and school then you need to take some initiative and do things outside of work and school once these people see that you are willing to do things then they will be more inclined to invite you to activies.

[eviljedi]

I'm like you, naturally shy. I used to meet with groups of friends and just sit and listen while all of them were talking. I didn't even realize that I was doing it, that's what I'd always done. Then one day I figured it out and decided to try and do something about it. It was really hard at first and I had to force myself to say things and sometimes there would be awkward silences etc. The only advice I can give you is to just keep persevering and eventually you will be able to start conversations naturally and it will be really easy. We learn from experience, I'm still learning.

If you want to turn some of your work colleagues into friends just say something like; can you email me when I'm due in for my next shift. Give them your email address and then another time you can just email them if something funny happens in work and take it from there. They may even start to email you first (socially). The only way to get better at these kinds of thing is by trying and learning from your experiences.

[husker]

I am also naturally shy. I had a chance to go an talk to a girl that I like while on break, but I did not do it. Any advice on what to do next time??

[Strandysmommy]

I know what you mean about wanting to back out at the last minute. It's not that I don't like the guy; I totally do. But it's just like..."GAH!" I wouldn't back out too much or she'll think you're trying to gently let her down. Unless you are indeed doing that, I would try to just grit your teeth and be like "I AM FOLLOWING THROUGH!" I mean it's just HER, the same girl from work...only she's not at work right now. That's kinda how I would try and look at it like.

[ShySoul]

Find an activity that you both like to do and make plans to do it. Then don't look at it as doing something with her, look at it as doing something that you enjoy doing and she happens to be coming to. In fact, don't try to think about whether you like this person or they like you. Don't try to think about becoming friends with people. Just focus on being you and speaking out when you have something to say. Have confidence that what you say is important and interesting, and say it.

 

And don't forget, sitting back and listening can have it's advantages. It gives you knowledge and knowledge is power. Ok, maybe thats just the future expert of espionage in me speaking out.

[Alabama]

Sometimes, people need motivation to get through something. Think that whatever the activity is, it's for her and use that as motivation. Good luck!