I can feel again.... finally completely over the ex.

[Cougar_20]

This is my first time back on these boards in quite sometime and I just wanted to make a post about some of the things that I have gone through and how to handle the current situation that I'm in.

 

I stumbled upon this site back in early September when I broke up with my girlfrend of three years for cheating on me. I actually came back to retrieve the thread I made at that time to see how stupid I sounded. Here is the link to that thread:

 

link removed

 

For anyone that is going through a break up and feels like they will never get over it, I promise that you will. I went from being completely in love with my girl feeling and believing that nothing was really wrong, to walking in on her screwing some other guy. The pain I felt in those next two months or so was unbearable. I tried to convince myself that she could change and eventually we could get back together, but over time I realized that I would never be able to trust her again. I was eventually able to heal through no contact and going out and keeping myself busy.

 

Nearly six months has passed from the day of our break up and up until recently my heart had turned to stone. I had plenty of chances to date single attractive women while I was down at school, but I brushed all of them off. Maybe I just wasnt ready, maybe I wasn't over my ex yet, maybe i didnt want to get involved when i knew i was moving home soon, who knows. I graduated in december and moved back home and have been waiting tables because I really need a break from everything and am not ready to get a "real" job yet.

 

About three weeks ago I started seeing this girl that I work with and it seems like for the first time I can feel again, if that makes any sense. This girl is amazing, everything I could want in a girl. She is cute, classy, fun to be around, has a dynomite personality, and she has respect for herself and the people around her. She loves to go out and have fun, but is a good girl at the same time, which is a hard combonation to find these days.

 

I guess the problem is that I'm really starting to like this chick and it's scaring me. This is the only girl that I've had any kind of feelings for since my break up, and I've been around a lot of girls these past few months. We've hung out together three of the last four nights (only once alone though, the other two nights were with several friends around) and I kinda feel like things may be moving a little too fast. I wasn't going to do anything with her last night, but she called ME and invited me to go out with her and her friends, and so I did and had a great time.

 

I feel like I'm walking a fine line here. I really like hanging out with this girl, but my brain is telling me that I have to take things very slow. Not only do I want to keep myself from getting too involved too soon, but I also don't want to scare this girl off. But at the same time I want her to know that I am interested in her and not messing with her head. I'm thinking about not calling her for a day or two to let things cool off a little bit even though we've seen each other a lot the past few days. Is this a good idea, or will it convey the wrong message?

 

There really isn't that much basis for me making this post, I just felt like I had to get a few things off of my chest. I've come a long way since August when I walked in on my ex, and honestly I can now say it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Looking back, I don't think we were really meant to be. For people going through a break-up, stay strong, good things will come to you. Love is a confusing game with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. I've been through both and hopefully I won't ever get as low as I was six months ago.

[passions1]

I understand where you're coming from it's been about 1 yr since my ex. When I met new guys, I met some great ones, but was still caught up w/ my ex that I was afraid of falling or liking another one. So I did lose out in giving some guys a chance. But if you do feel like you are ready for this girl, make sure not to take it too slow, otherwise she might think that you may not be interested & you'll end up in the platonic guy friend category. It's fine if you're starting to like her, that's perfectly normal, but don't be afraid of what you're feeling. Trust your gut instinct & like my friend tells me don't be a "chicken". Take your time in spending time with her in talking & hanging out. Because when you're getting to know a person, it's important to spend good enough time to make an assessment if the person is right enough for you or not. Learning their pros/cons to being around or with the person. Good luck!

[raggamuffin]

Hi! I am so gland that you are over your ex, isnt it the most wonderful feeling in the world?!?! I am in the same situation as you are in right now. I just explained it to the guy and he was really great about it and now I dont have to worry about things going to fast for me because I know that he is supportive and understanding of my need to take things a little slow.

 

This girl will be really understanding I am sure. Infact she will probably find it rather refreshing, its nice to know when guys dont want things to go from start to finish in 2 dates!! She is probably just trying to make sure that you know she is interested. Girls are very eagar to please their new men. Just explain the way you feel and it will be much easier for you. Best of Luck.

[Helpme86]

Congrats on getting over her!!!

[Cougar_20]

Thanks for the replies. It truley is great to finally get over that hump. As far as this new girl is concerned, I've already kissed her and she has already made it perfectly clear that she likes me, so I'm not really worried about ending up in the friends zone. I guess it's just weird to have all of these feelings come back that I havent felt in a long time. I did call her tonight just to talk for a bit and she invited me to go out with her again, but I told her i really didn't feel like going out.

 

I'm sure if we continue to see each other, we'll eventually have "the talk," but so far most of our conversations have been very light hearted and impersonal. I guess when that situation comes up I'll make it clear to her how I feel about everything.

[alona125]

Congrats on moving forward.

I know what you are feeling right now, and it is normal.

She sounds like a great girl, and you seem like you are ready to move forward. As you spend more time with her, those feelings of moving too fast will subside, and things will fall right into place.

This happens to anyone who has had their heart broken, there is always a fear that it will happen again.

This is a new start for you.