The issue of love

[adcizz]

My girlfried, who is 1000 miles away recently told me "i love you but i'm just not sure that i'm in love with you."

ouch. im in love with her and want to spend the rest of my life with her but now our whole relationship is up in the air. advice?

[Protex]

Sounds to me like she may have entered the 'comfort' zone of a relationship.

 

Once the intial bang, boom, and bam of being in love is done with, one finds themself being in a relationship where they are completely comfortable and 'love' the other person. There are things you can do to get the spark back, but that's a whole different question.

 

Right now it looks like she's exited the fireworks and fairy tale part of the relationship, thereforeeee, doesn't think she is in love with you anymore.

 

I'm saying all this because I went through the exact same thing, and said the exact same thing she said, so I'm assuming that I feel somewhat close to what she's feeling.

[DN]

Sorry to have to tell you that this is one of those supposedly kind ways of saying "I am about to break up with you".

 

To end any uncertainty I would ask her exactly what she means and what she intends to do. Brace yourself for bad news.

 

I sincerely hope I am wrong. Good luck

[Fender Bender]

i've been through something sort of like that.

i met this girl online who was from Michigan (i'm from Oklahoma, FYI). we got along famously and talked for hours. it was a LONG while back though, but my dad caught me chatting with her and thought she was one of those people who pose as teenagers but r really old grandmas 'n stuff. we loved each other. we never got to the point of telling each other that, but we did.

 

The seperation we had hurt me so bad i was depressed for a long time. probably should've taken an anti-depressant or something, but was too embarrassed to ask 4 one.

 

neways, if you've read a few of my new posts you'll see that i've met someone new. i've moved along, though i'm not sure she did. however right now i'm not thinking of that, but my new girlfriend.

 

short terms, it hurts to lose a friend like that. but in the end, you'll get over it and find someone new.

 

just go out there and explore the new world as a single man. go to a bar or somethin and find a chick. or if u'r one of the lucky people who r good at dancing, go to some dancing place. find a girl there and slow dance with her. then start dating her. pretty soon, you'll like your new life.

 

hope that helps. i wish i someone to tell me that when i was separated from my old love....

[boredguy]

hmm when my first gf and I broke up, she used that line on me. ill tell u this, it hurts like hell. i still havent figured out what she meant...i prefer not to either.

[adcizz]

Well she says the last thing she wants to do is hurt me, but spending time together, for her, is one of the biggest things in a relationship. I asked her about us breaking up and she said " why do you worry about that?" and "even if i was single it wouldn't change anything that we shared together or anything about how i feel about you"

[DN]

Well she says the last thing she wants to do is hurt me, but spending time together, for her, is one of the biggest things in a relationship. I asked her about us breaking up and she said " why do you worry about that?" and "even if i was single it wouldn't change anything that we shared together or anything about how i feel about you"

 

The answer to "why do you worry" would be "because you said you are not in love with me!!"

[chai714]

DN already said it - it's over man. It was over when she said those words -she might as well have broken up with you right after that sentence.

 

My ex-girl of 5 years told me the same thing . . I love you, but am not in love, the last thing I want to do is hurt you.

 

Translation: I don't love you anymore, and you're nice, but it's over.

[phil1981UK]

Yep, have to agree, your toast buddy.

 

She is trying to let you down gently, she IS gonna break up with you, no doubt about it.

 

My advice, blow her off first, dont make your own pain of waiting for her to break up with you last longer than it already has.

 

Good luck.

[srookie]

Look from a females perspective she may just be tired of the distance. She has forgotten that wonderful feeling of being in ur arms. You need to be more specific on details. How long have u been apart for example? How long has this commuting been going on and how long were u together before u went long distance. If its been a while since u last saw her chances r she is getting over it. Go pay her a surprise visit, that is the ONLY way u will EVER know. What do u have to lose? If u truly want to b together move to be together, but visit first and rekindle that lost flame ok???!!!!