Wants forgiveness after 7 months of No Contact

[neoclassic]

You are clearly most happy with the comments you've received from people who may be from a similar region or culture as yourself, but I'm not.

May be they are using The Power of NOW! They are just focusing on the last part of my original post.

May be they saw I asked u If I haven't post the age details then what would have u said?

 

I believe it was my mistake to post with so much details. If I would have written only the last part then things would have been different.

 

Btw, I forget to use NVC with u. I have just started to learn it.

 

I am really sorry if I hurt u.

[neoclassic]

I sent her a letter. She wrote not to contact her. Stating that she has fully changed and she hopes I will understand.

The next day, I decided not show my face to her and to remain 100 meters away from her (We are at same area) to make her soul happy.'

U have pointed out the right sentence. As u can see I decided to stay away from her. I did that. I am still doing that not showing up in front of her. The letter exchange is happening by a medium. So u can see I never wanted to hurt or force her to do anything.

 

On a FB group, Someone asked a question:

Is the exam of that Bank happened?

Answers were: 1. Yes

2. U r mad

3. What were u doing?

4. Yeah

5. Go to sleep u fool

 

So, in every group there are some over-confident, over-expert people who try to show they know everything by commenting on something that they have not been asked to answer.

[Man with Dog]

I think this is getting more than a bit out of hand. From what I can see ScorpioRabbit got too emotionally close to a young girl. It's an easy mistake to make and, in retrospect, he might have shown care for her but should perhaps not have got involved in discussing her personal life. He crossed a boundary but, as far as I can see, he did not seek a sexual relationship with her. He realised his mistake and withdrew.

 

It seems that one person, in particular, was particularly critical. However, in Victorian times, it was quite common for men to get close to young girls with the intention of marrying them when they were old enough. Maybe it's not as rife as some countries but, in the UK, child prostitution is still alive and well. I do not think sexual predation of under-age girls by adult men is right but, for that matter, neither is sexual predation of under-age girls by under-age boys any more defensible.

[Mari]

Fair play, but in the UK a pregnant twelve year old wouldn't just get money and government support. The father would be tracked down, and god forbid he was ten years older, he'd be called a 'nonce' and be prosecuted for child abuse, rape, grooming a minor, and so on. He'd serve time, and the sentence would be even harsher if he was in a position of trust as the OP was. I'm just stating facts, and you don't know if this girl was living in poverty or not. I understand cultural differences, but this one is very questionable.

 

I think that way works well in the UK. The married couple can get isolated from their extended families over there and that protection needs to be there. In the culture I'm talking about, he doesn't just marry the girl but her entire family. His family would have a huge say in his actions and would need to approve. After marriage, her parents would move in with him, he would support her brothers and sisters to get into school, share his car and house, and the parents would be right there making sure their daughter is getting treated well. It would actually be a much worse deal for the guy than the girl. So in this case, he'd be in "prison" for life. If he ever asked for divorce he'd be the one leaving the house, not her and her family. They would argue they have no place to go cause they used to be homeless.

 

I'm thinking there's nothing wrong with OP's girl, she's not disabled or in need of a richer husband. He has no shot and if he's not improving her life or her family's life in any way then he needs to just support her in getting someone way better and closer to her age.

[Man with Dog]

I get that things are different in other cultures and it is only in the last 150 years in the UK that we've had an age of consent, etc. Then at 14, boys and girls can have very wide variations in maturity. I would still say that, even in cultures where relationships with what are considered "minors" in the UK are socially acceptable and legal, I would not recommend them. OK, I'm 10 years older than my wife but she was in her mid-20s when we met. People still change after their 20s but the biggest change is from about 14/14 to 25 in most people. Apart from being a dad, I have experience of dating younger (but legal!) girls. In retrospect I did nothing wrong (one approached me and another met me half way) but I would say it is best to wait until they are about 22/23 before believing in any plans for the future.