GirlontheLam Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 I am a little confused now, and would love some feedback. *long post* A few months ago, I started working at a new place. Our company is working with a consulting firm, and I met our project manager - he lives in another state. Skip ahead a few months, and we are working on projects together. During the work we start getting to know each other and get along well.. Over the next few weeks our conversations become more personal and we connect more. This lands us at today. He was in town last week and we had meetings over several days. So I have seen him a lot recently. Our meetings are both group and one on one. I look forward to meetings with him, particularly the one on ones. First he is great at helping me solve work problems, and we work well together. Second, conversation is so fun. Laughter comes easily and each chat connects us more. It is like being long lost friends with a lifetime of shared experiences. He has been greeting and exiting with hugs. We had a lunch alone too. Some comments/conversations he has made during one on one interactions: Love your hair You look pretty Reached for a hug, saying "i have had a stressful day, I need love" at the end of a one on one convo Gets excited and highlights when we uncover a commonality We are connected on Facebook Our lunch was 90% personal topics: dating, family, hobbies. We even talked about his comforter. He has shared some personal stuff: Being emotional about his grandparents health Shared a recent home movie with his parents Talked about an intro to some friends and family Talked about recent breakups - clarifying he is single Talks about his work projects and accomplishments Conversations where he has mentioned me to former/current colleagues (professionally) Favorite local restaurants So he is sending lots of signals - touching, common interests. He is great at reading me, and I can read his expressions too. He can finish my sentences in some cases. He does a good job of bringing up details from previous discussions. On the other hand he is a bit distant. We haven't made plans outside of work. Or he could be taking it slow. He also had a super busy and stressful work period. I know work travel can be really packed, and he is prepping for a long vacation. Our last conversation was mostly professional. He wanted to recommend me to one of his close friends for a job. He is interested in my career progression and work happiness too. He has become a great person to talk about work stuff with and get advice. It's interesting. We have chemistry. We have a great connection and mutual admiration. But i can't figure it out if it's friends or more. It feels like a good fit, but I'd love an outing without a time limit. In some ways I feel like his is planting some seeds for a spot in his life. But not sure what kind. And I don't know how he treats friends vs romantic partners. He is now back at home, and over the next few weeks isn't available - vacation and house guests. Not sure when I will talk to him next, work or otherwise. What do you think? Wait him out. Tell him what I am thinking? Link to comment
Dottieflanogon Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 He may like you , He may not be interested in you in that way. Or he might think you’re nice and that you’re cute but that it might be inappropriate to ask out a co-worker, especially if he is in a more senior position than you as you . For now he seems to be a casual co-worker/ friendly office guy.He may simply be friendly to you because he’s like that with all his co-workers. He may indeed like you and want to have coffee or something. Time will tell Link to comment
Sarah691607309662 Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 he has his life far from you. he definitely likes you but this does not necessarily mean he wants something more at this point. You do. He probably gets that. Do not ask him out. He is not shy and he would have no problem to ask you out if he wanted to. If you ask him out, he might go, you might get causal sex but it would not facilitate anything serious. Although if you want to get laid - no problem - go ask him, I am sure he will agree. He does not seem to be into power games, so I am almost confident he will not brush you off on that. If you want serious r/s, wait. Do not express too much of initiative, just accept his attention happily with gratitude. And see where it will go. Let him drive. Link to comment
GirlontheLam Posted September 13, 2015 Author Share Posted September 13, 2015 He may like you , He may not be interested in you in that way. Or he might think you’re nice and that you’re cute but that it might be inappropriate to ask out a co-worker, especially if he is in a more senior position than you as you . For now he seems to be a casual co-worker/ friendly office guy.He may simply be friendly to you because he’s like that with all his co-workers. He may indeed like you and want to have coffee or something. Time will tell I know he is friendly in general with everyone at work, something we have in common. But we've connected a bit deeper for sure. I guess i'll wait till he is in town next and how it plays out. Link to comment
GirlontheLam Posted September 13, 2015 Author Share Posted September 13, 2015 he has his life far from you. he definitely likes you but this does not necessarily mean he wants something more at this point. You do. He probably gets that. Do not ask him out. He is not shy and he would have no problem to ask you out if he wanted to. If you ask him out, he might go, you might get causal sex but it would not facilitate anything serious. Although if you want to get laid - no problem - go ask him, I am sure he will agree. He does not seem to be into power games, so I am almost confident he will not brush you off on that. If you want serious r/s, wait. Do not express too much of initiative, just accept his attention happily with gratitude. And see where it will go. Let him drive. Go with the flow sounds like the way to go for now. He has asked when I was visiting his city. This isn't an outside chance, I do have good friends that live near him. I am due for a visit. And I could wrangle a friend or two to come with me on a trip. Maybe in a month or 2. Link to comment
GirlontheLam Posted November 7, 2015 Author Share Posted November 7, 2015 Came back to update my thread. It has been almost 2 months and lots of things are different. I ended up applying for a new job - and he was a reference. And I got the job. He was great during the process - supportive and encouraging. When I told him i accepted the job, he suggested I visit so we could celebrate together. I said why not. This was a few weeks ago. Since he was last in town, we started to talk a little more outside of work. Texting every few days and the like. Our meetings alone had more personal conversation, and banter. He always paid me a nice compliment in our group meetings. We've connected a lot over the past few weeks. Leading up to my trip, i've been trying to get an agenda together but I have a few groups of people to see. He wanted to meet up a few times which made it trickier. Although I am positive he'd mesh with my friends, especially as we aren't clarified. He has an awesome outing planned for us, and we should get to spend more than a couple hours together. I am excited and he seems to be too! And i'll know once the weekend is over what his intentions are. And I've got tentative dates for when he is back in my city too. We already started brainstorming things to do together. Link to comment
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